Log In Sign Up

question for you all...


Forum: Christian Parenting

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Christian Parenting LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
September 4th, 2006, 08:15 AM
pdeters28610's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 140
Hey Ladies,

I was wondering how many of you all put your family size in God's hands?...i have been doing alot of research and it does say that we are to leave it up to him would love any feed back on this...i wasn't brought up in church but have started going about 1 year ago so i'm learning everything that i missed out on before...I'm a mother of 4 children 3 boys and 1 girl i had my tubes tied whenever i had my c-section with my daughter..but this past august of 05 i know God has put it on my heart to have it corrected and to put my fertility and my family size back into his hands, so now i'm on a funding waiting list and hopefully first of 2007 i will be getting it done...well my husband thinks that i'm completely crazy about all of this and he doesn't really feel that God did put that on my heart but really ladies he did and thats why i'm asking you all have you ever experienced this or something similar with what God is telling you to do...I have to follow what God has put on my heart and i'm praying that God will bless us with many more blessings...thanks ladies for listening to me god bless you all....
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #2  
September 4th, 2006, 09:10 AM
dinamommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 11,610
Hmmmm.....I don't really know what to say. I do think God gives us freedom of choice on some things. I have always done what I can to either stall getting pregnant or try to get pregnant, but ultimately, it's up to God whether I have more children or not. You really should get your husband's backing (IMO) before trying to have more children.....after all, they will be his children too. I really wanted to get pregnant b/f we did get pregnant with my daugher, but DH wasn't ready. She ended up being a surprise and he loves her to death, but I as far as trying, I couldn't imagine doing that without his support. KWIM? Maybe you two could pray about this together and see what the Lord would have you to do.
__________________

~Stacey






Baby and little girls' leg warmers: http://www.etsy.com/shop/SassyStitchesStacey

Reply With Quote
  #3  
September 5th, 2006, 01:39 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 8,347
I don't know what to say either, because I do understand the thinking of leaving it into God's hands, but then, I do feel that God gives us choices. I have actually been thinking about this a lot myself, since I am getting my tubes tied in the near future. So on one hand you can look at this as interfering in God's plan, on the other hand, I sincerly don't want to have another baby, I don't think I would be able to meet the needs of my children if we added to our family. Now I don't think it's God's plan for me to be miserable and dead tired all the time. Also, for me personally, I think there is more in store for me than only motherhood as far as involvement in church, school and community. If I kept on having children then I would not be able to do other things.

This is such a personal thing, what is right for you wouldn't necessarily be for others. I would pray together with your husband for God's guidance in this matter, because you really do need to be on the same page on this one.
__________________
mom of 5 girls
Reply With Quote
  #4  
September 5th, 2006, 08:34 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,539
My husband and I talked long and hard about this and we have decided to put our family size into Gods hands. Some people think I'm crazy and think we're going to have this huge family because neither my husband or I are having any kind of surgeries to stop it. But I do feel that God does give you the choice on family planning, but that it is ultimatly his choice on the family size. My SIL was using three different forms of birth control and she still got pregnant.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
September 6th, 2006, 11:28 AM
Dev Dev is offline
Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Midwest
Posts: 657
hmmm...well this is an interesting discussion. God has provided us with natural ways of preventing pregnancy and I don't think that surgery or birth control pills tamper with God's plan in the least. I do know that if it is God's will for you to have another child that not even surgery can prevent that! I've heard of tubaligations (sp?) "reversing themselves" or rather God reversing them. Just look at Sarah and Abraham, Sarah laughed at God when he told her that she would bear a child even though she was much too old to have children. God works miracles even when birth control is used. My husband and I were shocked when I became pregnant. We had been under the impression that might not ever have kids due to the fact that my body basically went into a state of premature menopause at around 24. We prayed about it, and asked God to give us a child if and when we were ready, and if it was not his will then to give us contentment and peace with that decision. Now, two years later we are now anxiously awaiting our little bundle of joy!

So as far as reversing your surgery goes I agree with the PP's that said that you and your husband should pray about this together since this is a decision that should be made together.
__________________
<div align="center"> <MARQUEE WIDTH="100%" BEHAVIOR="scroll" SCROLLAMOUNT="5" DIRECTION="left"></MARQUEE></div>
Reply With Quote
  #6  
September 6th, 2006, 12:26 PM
mkgirl4u's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,006
I've often thought about that myself...."Why use condoms or BC, if God wants us to be pregnant, we'll get pregnant no matter what." or "I don't have to use protection because it's all in God's hands, if He doesn't want us to have more children, then He won't allow us to get pregnant."

But...here's what I have figured out for myself, and believe this to fit my life.

God has given man wisdom in designing things for protection. Condoms and BC being one of them. Also Traffic Lights. Now I could say that "I'm putting my safety into God's hands and am no longer obeying traffic signals. If God decides that today is the day for me to get into an accident and die it will happen whether I stop at a red light or not."

For me that's ignorance!! So I cannot imagine not using condoms because "it's all in God's hands". My life is in His hands, but I'm going to use the resources available unless husband or myself gets a clear message from God.

BTW, both of my children were conceived while using condoms...both times it busted. So I know it was clearly up to God when we had children.
__________________
<div align="center"></div>

<div align="center"></div>
Reply With Quote
  #7  
September 6th, 2006, 05:15 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Arizona
Posts: 4,715
God gave us choices I believe. I think praying about this with your DH would be your best plan at this point.

Also, since our loss, I have been wondering what God has in store for us and adoption and fostering keeps coming up for us. I just think that families can be made many ways. Maybe God wants some of us to go get some poor little ones who need mommies and daddies. You don't necessarily have to make them all the time. Just a thought. Having a family at any size is a BIG decision.
__________________
<div align="center"></div>
<div align="center"></div>
<div align="center"></div>
<div align="center"></div>
Reply With Quote
  #8  
September 7th, 2006, 10:03 AM
christianmommato3's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: OHIO
Posts: 15,943
Send a message via MSN to christianmommato3 Send a message via Yahoo to christianmommato3
I could of posted this exact question.
When my youngest was born 4 years ago, I went on the patch. At the time, I was out of church.
I started attending church again 3 years ago, and the Lord started working on me. Last November, I went off of birth control and started Natural Family Planning. God was convicting me and dh about trying to control that portion of our lives. He is in control of ALL!!
It is not for everyone. God was convicting me and as you all know, We need to Obey Him when we are called to do something.
Physically, I am feeling so much better! I am at peace with my family size. If God wants to bless our family with another child, then we will be happy about it. If not, we are content with our family.
We have surrendered ourselves to God and He is in control of me.
I don't want to start a debate. This is how I feel after God convicted me.
God also gives us free will, but we might not like the outcome

BTW: come and check out the Natural Family Planning board. I am the host
__________________
Jaime
stay at home, homeschooling momma to Jacob(12), Alisha(10), Andrew (5)


Reply With Quote
  #10  
September 13th, 2006, 11:19 PM
Sunshine412's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 485
Hmm, here's the way I see it: If I am using measures to prevent myself from getting pregnant, and I still get pregnant, then I know that God really wants me to have that baby! That's how Lily got here, she was a surprise, but God knew what we needed better than Nathan and I knew what we needed. I agree with everyone else about praying a lot.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
September 17th, 2006, 10:42 AM
ShawnaCAN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 11,397
Quote:
Hey Ladies,

I was wondering how many of you all put your family size in God's hands?...i have been doing alot of research and it does say that we are to leave it up to him would love any feed back on this...i wasn't brought up in church but have started going about 1 year ago so i'm learning everything that i missed out on before...I'm a mother of 4 children 3 boys and 1 girl i had my tubes tied whenever i had my c-section with my daughter..but this past august of 05 i know God has put it on my heart to have it corrected and to put my fertility and my family size back into his hands, so now i'm on a funding waiting list and hopefully first of 2007 i will be getting it done...well my husband thinks that i'm completely crazy about all of this and he doesn't really feel that God did put that on my heart but really ladies he did and thats why i'm asking you all have you ever experienced this or something similar with what God is telling you to do...I have to follow what God has put on my heart and i'm praying that God will bless us with many more blessings...thanks ladies for listening to me god bless you all....[/b]

Yes. But that doesn't mean having as many children as is physicaly possible, it just means we try to be good stewards of our fertility by not mutilating it or doing ANYTHING that has the potential to abort newly conceived babies (so no hormonal methods at all).

We use Natural Family Planning, so that if we have prayerfully discerned that it isn't a good time for a baby - we avoid sex while fertile, instead of harming our fertility. It's an ongoing discussion with God - we try to stay open to what He might be calling us to do. That might mean this is our last baby, it might mean we end up with 8. We simply can't make that decision right now because we have NO IDEA what God has planned for our future. We'll never do anything to shut that door on Him (sterilization).

Historically, Christians have always been opposed to contraception as morally unacceptable - up until the 1930's when the Anglican church made an exception for extreme situations. It was a slippery slope from there, and most Christian churches followed suit. There are writings from the earliest Christians (those evangelized by the disciples themselves) that warn Christians to stay away from the contraceptive and abortive practises of their culture at the time.

St. Hippolytus in 225 AD (before the New Testament was even finished being put together!) rebuked Christian women who "use drugs of sterility."

St. John Crysostom also had something to say in 319AD about Egyptian heretics who "prevent the conceiving of children." "That which is sweet, and universally desirable, the having of children, they esteem grievous and unwelcome. Many with this view have even paid money to be childless, and have mutilated nature, not only killing the newborn - but acting to prevent their beginning to live."

WHOA. That quote to easily be applied to our times, and not just the godless - but Christians! Sad.

Martin Luther, John Calvin, and John Welsey were all strongly opposed as well. Martin Luther said "How great, therefore, the wickedness of human nature is! How many girls there are who prevent conception and expel tender fetuses, although procreation is the work of God!"

We entrust our finances to God, our family, our work, everything. But our fertility? NO WAY. Hands off God! It's totally acceptable for us to treat our fertility like a disease, to treat pregnancy as some horrible curse to be avoided at all costs. I think it's very sad, and holds our marriages back from blossoming into the beautiful vision that God has in mind for married love. This is one area that Christians have compromised with the "world" and are losing. In the 1960's, society was speculating about how the pill would improve people's lives. It was anticipated that this new contraceptive would:

1. Improve the quality of marriages, since couples would not have the fear of pregnancy to interfere with their love
2. Reduce the number of abortions
3. Reduce the number of pregnancy outside of wedlock

Pope Paul VI was the only voice trying to warn us! Those predictions *sound* reasonable, but he said those things would not happen. He predicted these consequences of the widespread use of the pill:

1. Marriages will NOT be better. It will cause the disregard of women by men. They will lose respect for a woman's physical and psycological equilibrium and come to consider her a mere instrument for serving his sexual desires. (He was right, the divorce rate has skyrocketed since then. Not only do men regard women this way, WE regard ourselves this way by losing respect for our own physical and psychological equilibrium!)

2. There would be a general lowering of morality in society. (Can we argue that? Fornication is not only accepted, but celebrated! Abortions have increased. The number of pregnancies outside of marriage has increased.)

3. Government powers would use family planning programs for co-ercive purposes, especially in the Third World. (I am still floored that Pope Paul VI saw that coming. I was on a mission in Ghana, West Africa. An American aid group was there distributing food. Women could collect food for their families as long as they also came for their "shot." NEED I SAY MORE??? My heart broke, I couldn't believe what I was seeing.)

4. Sexual irresponsibility would be rewarded. Without pregnancy as a natural consequence of irresponsible sexual behavior, promiscuity would increase. Infidelity would be easier to conceal, and would also increase.

Definitely an issue that is receiving a lot of new attention. We've had a few decades to try this out, and Christians should realize that it's not working. It's not building up marriages, and it's not building up society. All we can do is make a choice in our own marriage, which we have. We choose to value the way God made us, and respect that.
__________________
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:43 PM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0