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  #1  
December 17th, 2006, 12:51 PM
joyfulmommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I am looking for a sex book. I don't want a Bible study marriage type book, dh and I have done a few of those already. I am looking for something with Biblical ideas to "spice up" or add variety to a Christian marriage. Just fun, romantic, creative, unique ideas. Any recommendations? TIA

Brooke
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  #2  
December 17th, 2006, 12:55 PM
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I have no idea but I will be checking back to see if anyone has one.
Yep, pregnant, sick, toddler sleeping in our bed every night.... I guess I could use that too.
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  #3  
December 17th, 2006, 02:15 PM
BensMom's Avatar Ephesians 4:29
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I'd definitely be up for suggestions as well!
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  #4  
December 17th, 2006, 06:34 PM
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Hey girls.. I have a book called the Celebration of Sex by Dr. Douglas E Rosenau.. Now it is more of a guide, maybe not so much a spice up type book, but I would recommend that every married couple read it , it is really great.. I did have a few websites saved on my old PC. Let me see if I can find them again for you.. I bought a game for my husband for his birthday that is really neat. It is called Make Love Speak Love or maybe the other way around. Anyway, it is a nice game! It is on one of the sites I found. I will get back to you guys.. I also have done some fun things to spice things up.... I will have to make a mental list and post some of my own ideas when I have more time. This is an area where I have a real heart for Christian marriages!! I don't think it is talked about enough, and I am glad you posted!!!!!!
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  #5  
December 17th, 2006, 08:08 PM
BensMom's Avatar Ephesians 4:29
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I also don't think it's talked about enough. It's so hush-hush and "dirty" for the older generations. It's vital to keeping a marriage healthy, though. Pleasing our husbands is a commandment. The older generation is told to teach the younger women to love their husbands... I think physical love is part of that teaching. I never even got the "birds and the bees" from my mom/grandma. They were always VERY embarrassed/secretive. This board - all of JM - has totally changed the way I think about sexuality in general.
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  #6  
December 17th, 2006, 09:18 PM
dinamommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I have to say that I was totally shocked when I first saw this post, but I have to agree with the other ladies that is something to be talked about. I thought this thread was going to be some kind of a joke! Hahaha! I think we are all up for suggestions.
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  #7  
December 18th, 2006, 04:22 AM
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No books, but a pretty good website (from what I heard) is www.themarriagebed.com - google that becuase it might have hyphens in it or something. I am also a fan of www.the-generous-wife.com - HTH!
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  #8  
December 18th, 2006, 07:06 AM
joyfulmommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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bravojuliet: thank you so much for the game suggestion. I can't wait to hear from you again with your other ideas. I am seriously considering having the game shipped here by ChristmasLOL

Rusha: thank you for the websites. I am going to check them out right now.

I am so glad that I am not the only one who would be interested in this. I didn't want to offend anyone, but thought that it really is an extremely important aspect to a Christian marriage. God designed marriage for us to be able to freely enjoy each other as a husband and wife. I was brought up that way, and all the premarrital counseling and Bible studies I have done have just reinforced that idea. So I do hope I didn't offend anyone (should I have clarified the topic better, dinamom?).
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  #9  
December 18th, 2006, 07:44 AM
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Oh, no, no....I wasn't offended at all! I just thought it was one of those spammers when I first saw the thread. Once I went in and read the post, I knew it wasn't though. We are actually pretty open about talking about sex in my family. You're totally fine!
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  #10  
December 18th, 2006, 10:02 AM
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I too think that sex is not talked about enough within the christian community. God created it for us to enjoy, not just procreate and yet we treat it as though it is dirty....that is awesome that you felt comfy enough to ask on the board...I will be checking out the web sites!
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  #11  
December 18th, 2006, 10:26 AM
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thanks for posting this ladies. I am always up for suggestions...
I used to be shy about sex but not no more...
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  #12  
December 18th, 2006, 02:36 PM
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Well, I just have to say that the website really was very good (themarriagebed.com). I found lots of good information. I signed up for the daily tips on thegenerouswife site too. I haven't fully explored the second site yet though. Thanks again for those suggestions.

...Still hoping for a book though (to give to dh as a bonus Christmas gift) if anyone finds or remembers one.
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  #13  
December 18th, 2006, 02:59 PM
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I have to say that I have never found a Christian site as detailed as the marriage bed! This was cool! Thanks for posting it.
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  #14  
December 18th, 2006, 07:23 PM
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Hello ladies! Jerusha one of the sites I had on my PC was the marriage bed it was one of my favorites! I haven't had a chance to look around yet for the others. As far as some suggestions go from me personally, I have two things that I think are important to start off with. First being.. really take a good hard look at your own view of sex. The things that you were told as a kid or teen, experiences you had, etc... Sometimes women can have very mixed up ideas about what sex is or should be. I have found that women who grew up in very traditional Christan homes can view sex as almost dirty or bad.. I read something one time I think by James Dobson that said (i am paraphrasing) "it is very hard to go from thou shalt not to thou shall often and with passion". The transition for women in these cases can be hard. For women who were not saved and may have had sex outside of marriage, they may be trying to grasp the idea of sex being holy and part of a Godly marriage. If you can figure out your "hang ups" and ask God to really show you his plan for sex within this covenent relationship it can really change things. The second thing is to talk to your husband. What does he love about your sex life, what has he always wanted but been afraid to ask for. An open coversation can really drastically change things. It is hard to know how to spice things up if you have no idea what you or your husband find to be spicey . One little suggestion and then I will save the rest for later, if you ladies are interested in hearing me ramble on anymore... One fun thing I love to do for my husband is just build some anticiptation... I love sending him naughty text messages on his cell phone, or emails ... Plus this way you don't have to actually say anything outloud that might make you blush! Of course a note works just as well!! Anyway girlies, I am very excited to talk about this some more, but I have taken up enough of your time for now.. Thanks again for posting this subject, that is a huge first step... Just starting the converstion between women!!
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  #15  
December 18th, 2006, 08:22 PM
BensMom's Avatar Ephesians 4:29
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Thanks ... that was great. Sounds weird, but yeah... we should be praying about our sex lives. I don't recall ever doing that! Hang ups are a big issue with me. I'm overweight (he's very skinny), I have a post-pregnancy overhanging belly (come on...how attractive can that really be?), and sex is painful for me (just one of the many reasons for my c/s). It's so hard to get in the mood when I have those things running through my head.
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  #16  
December 19th, 2006, 08:34 AM
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Thank you for the suggestions bravojuliet. Those are definately things to consider. I tried a semi naughty email and his work blocked it! Oops-lol, I'll have to think of another way.

Bensmom- I totally know how you feel in all aspects of that post. I would just give it time. The only thing I can offer you is that the drive will come back, and in the meantime it's important to be trying your hardest for dh's sake. I found that the more I let my weight and appearance affect our sex life, the more frusterated dh got. I thought he wouldn't like sex as much because of my weight, but the bigger problem for him was that I wasn't enjoying myself with him. I'm still working on this. And this whole Christmas project I started is a huge part of me trying to show dh that I understand now what he wants and why.

Lastly, I have another comment about the marriagebed website. I explored it a little more and still love it. But, I have a problem with their message boards. They keep the husbands and wives on the same board. I really think this was very inappropriate on the sex related forums. I am much happier with the generous wife message boards, because it is just wives who post there. Just my opinion, but i wanted to let you all know.
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  #17  
December 19th, 2006, 12:25 PM
dinamommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Praying about your sex life......I have never done that either, but I think I will start. I also have a problem with feeling bashful, even 5 1/2 years into marriage! The self-image thing is a big issue with me too. My husband really doesn't have any problem with how I look, but I do.....so, I know what you mean, Chrystal. Having babies sure can wreak havoc on our bodies. Thank you for your posts everyone. This has been helpful.
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  #18  
December 19th, 2006, 03:28 PM
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Okay, I bravely went ahead and googled this subject...with my eyes closed...then I opened one and saw it was ok. Here are some suggestions:

The Act of Marriage by Tim and Beverly Lahaye

Sacred Sex by Tim Alan Gardner

Intimate Issues by Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus

The Sexual Man & Secrets of Eve both by Archibald D. Hart

The Gift of Sex by Joyce and Clifford L. Penner

Intended for Pleasure by Ed Wheat

And...here is one that I have read that was sooo good:

Intimacy Ignited by Joseph and Linda Dillow & Dr. Peter and Lorraine Pintus

I also encourage you all to check out www.familylife.com - they have valuable resources on their site. I am sure some of you have been to a Family Life Marriage Conference. If not...it will do WONDERS for your marriage, no matter how great it may be, it can always become greater! Steve and I went to one when we were married only 6 months and it was the best thing we ever did. WORTH the investment!!!!!
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  #19  
December 19th, 2006, 07:56 PM
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WOW.. thanks for all those great books! Thanks for taking the time! I will check some of them out for sure!!
You know, I never even looked at the message boards on any of these sites. I don't like the idea of men beingon the boards, so I won't even visit that one. Thanks for the heads up, joyfulmommy!!

Bensmom and others.... I understand the self image issue also.. I have never been extremely overweight,but I have been heavier than I wantd to be and I felt the same way.. I also feel that way about a million tiny and not so tiny imperfections on my body! I think too much tv and movies has fed this problem with me.. The women appear perfect no matter what! No saggy I have been nusing for 5 years straight boobies, no varicose veins, no hairy legs because I have no time to shave them, no stretch marks on the hips from being pregnant, and the list could go on and on!! It is very hard to get past this.... I am still much happier in the dark I do find that we worry about it more than they do.. Not to say that we shouldn't try to be attractive for them.. I work hard to keep myself in good shape, for myself and for him..BUT.. it is hard..and a sensitive man who loves Jesus understands that those women on tv etc, are not real, and that you are..and so is the covenant you two have together.. I think it becomes a vicious circle of I feel fat and ugly, so I won't initiate or even really participate too much in sex.. Which makes him feel like I don't want him.. Which makes him back off...which makes me feel fat and ugly...so on and so on... I had to learn years ago to break that cylce for the sake of my marriage..
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  #20  
December 19th, 2006, 09:20 PM
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I have a book called "two-gether intimately" by Ruth Clarence. She was here for a day seminar and she was really good, and the book is good too (and quite funny without being raunchy or anything). Ruth is a pastors wife and she does seminars for woman, and they do seminars for couples (I'm hoping to go sometime).
Her website is two-getherministries.com I think.
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