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Lifting my husband up in prayer


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  #1  
January 9th, 2007, 07:17 AM
dinamommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Hello everyone! I was wondering if you could be praying for my husband. He is VERY involved in our church. He is the praise and worship leader, teaches High School Sunday School, and is on the nominating committee. Anyways, he was at the church last night, just like every Monday night, playing chess with an older gentleman from church that he likes to get together with. Some other church members were in the next room having a church counsil meeting. My husband overheard some of them talking about the worship time and how it wasn't going well. This was after the meeting was over, mind you. He came home and was so hurt that they were talking about him and complaining about what he does. I tried to tell him that it going to happen when you are in a leadership position. He said, "yes, but this is church!" I feel so bad for him. I guess he didn't realize that even other Christians are going to talk about you and be displeased with something you are doing. He's a relatively new Christian and was so hurt by this. He even started to question his gift of music and if he should even be teaching Sunday School. Please pray that his spirit won't be broken. He is such a wonderful man who really wants to serve God. We prayed together last night and he is going to talk to our pastor tonight when they get together to play basketball. I think he is so disillusioned about church right now and I hate to see this get messy.
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  #2  
January 9th, 2007, 07:57 AM
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Oh no! How disheartening! Did he hear the entire conversation or just parts? Maybe it wasn't as bad as he thought?

I'll definitely add him and the whole situation to my prayer list!!!

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  #3  
January 9th, 2007, 08:11 AM
4iris's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'll definitely keep him in my prayers.

One of the things our church does is host a quarterly New Song Cafe, where anyone and everyone is invited to a potluck dinner on a Friday night. During or after dinner, people suggest song titles and they listen to parts of other songs to choose which new ones they'd like to hear/sing during the services. It's a great way for anyone who wants to provide input, whether or not they are part of the actual praise and worship team. Heated debates aren't permitted, nor true negativity. If someone doesn't like something, they have to provide a valid reason (not just "I don't like it") and suggest something instead. Maybe something like that would help?
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  #4  
January 9th, 2007, 09:24 AM
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I'm sorry your husband is hurting, I will def. keep him in my prayers. Keep us updated ok.
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  #5  
January 9th, 2007, 09:58 AM
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Maybe he needs to confront them and tell them that he overheard them. And that it hurt him..

They need to know that he heard it.. Gossip is not, at all, Christlike. If there was an issue, they needed to include him in the discussion. JMO.

I am praying for him and the entire situation. Unfortunately, I know exactly how he feels..
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  #6  
January 9th, 2007, 10:11 AM
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I am so sorry that this is happening to him. We will definatley be remembering him in prayer today. But I did want to maybe shed some positive light on it....you said that he is a relatively new Christian and that he is a lil disillusioned by the church. Jeremy was the same way and when someone in the church failed him he was devastated....it took him a long time to realize that they were human as well and sometimes things happen. While gossip is not Christ like and will really hurt someone, God turns everything into good! So this may be what it takes for your husband to take the church off of its pedastal. It was what it took for Jeremy.
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  #7  
January 9th, 2007, 01:03 PM
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Isn't that just the way? It's amazing how fellow Christians can backbite and gossip and hurt one another. Unfortunately, it happens all the time! Especially, like you said, to people in leadership positions. There will always be someone complaining about the preacher's sermons or the deacons' decisions or the worship leader's song choices and the list goes on and on. This is something I am not looking forward to as my DH goes forward in his ministry and pastors his first church. However, I was brought up in church and my DH's dad was a pastor, so we both know how things go. It's hard for new Christians though, like your DH, and it is so easy for them to get disillusioned with the whole thing. That's what's sad. Instead of lifting him up and helping him grow in his walk with the Lord, as we are commanded to do, they choose to tear him down. I will be praying for your DH. I hope his talk with the pastor will help him some. I am sure your pastor will be able to give him some reassurance. Prayers and hugs for the both of you!
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  #8  
January 9th, 2007, 01:18 PM
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Quote:
Maybe he needs to confront them and tell them that he overheard them. And that it hurt him..

They need to know that he heard it.. Gossip is not, at all, Christlike. If there was an issue, they needed to include him in the discussion. JMO.

I am praying for him and the entire situation. Unfortunately, I know exactly how he feels.. [/b]
I was thinking this same thing. When you know someone has said something about you, somewhere in the bible(not sure where at the moment, but I will definately ask my grandfather, he's my mentor) it says that you should go with another fellow christian and confront them about how they have hurt you. I have seen this happen to many times in our church. Usually it's an elder who says something about the younger generation and they get upset, the last time it happened, the girl who got upset didn't confront them and EVERYONE in the church started taking sides, I know, that's sooooo horrible, it's church!!! The girl ended up leaving the church and it settled down but that's not the way it's supposed to be handled because in my opinion, the person who upset her, has run her off and if she dies lost, then the blood would pretty much be on his hands.

I am praying for you and your husband both hun and I hope that things get better =)
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  #9  
January 9th, 2007, 01:35 PM
Shaustin's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I will definitely be praying for your husband. I cannot imagine how hard that was for him to hear. My husband is a very new Christian himself, and it is a difficult journey for him to understand different aspects of the church, so I TOTALLY understand how you are feeling. I pray he is able to work things out to some extent and is able to realize that his gifts are real and are from God, and that he should continue doing what he is called to do, despite what others may be saying.
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  #10  
January 9th, 2007, 01:50 PM
dinamommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thank you all. He seems to be in better spirits today and will be talking to our pastor tonight for sure. I will update you all on how it goes.
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  #11  
January 9th, 2007, 05:26 PM
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Our worship leader talks about this. No matter how hard you work, someone is out there thinking they can do better and making comments about the service. Just because we are Christians, doesn't make us perfect. We all make mistakes and it sounds like that is what the meeting people were doing. I wish he would have at that moment, gone in there and asked if there were any suggestions anyone had that could make a positive impact... That would have stopped them in their tracks.

I'm sorry he was hurt by this. I have noticed also that some people have little in their lives so they need to find things to talk about or be negative about. Makes me always try to evaluate my situation and make sure I don't repeat these mistakes.

I hope the talk with the pastor went well for him. Let us know.
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  #12  
January 9th, 2007, 07:33 PM
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(((HUGS)))
praying for your dh!
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  #13  
January 10th, 2007, 04:18 AM
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How did it go, Stacey?

I know how hard it can be to be in a leadership position within the church. People demand and expect so much of you and it can be so hard. Especially when you're not doing it for them, you are doing it for God. And when you are doing it for God, he is pleased.

Your husband will be in my thoughts and prayers.
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  #14  
January 10th, 2007, 07:13 AM
dinamommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Everything seems to be fine as far as my husband is concerned. The pastor smoothed it over for him last night and told him that the main reason the worship time was even being discussed was because using power point in the worship service was brought up in the meeting and two people really wanted it and one was very much against it. From there, the other stuff about the worship time started being discussed. The pastor just told him that our worship times aren't perfect but they are better than they were. They need to flow better........you know. Well, my husband asked how he could do a better job and didn't get a clear-cut answer. He also told the pastor that if the church ever decides that he isn't the person for the job and they want to try someone else out, he would bow out and it would be fine. The pastor assured him that is not what they want. Wes overheard them talking about how there needs to be someone playing the piano instead of Wes just playing the guitar during the worship time too, and brought that up to pastor. He has tried before (we have a relatively new pastor) to get the pianists to learn the newer songs and they won't/can't do it. Anyways, I don't know what's going to happen. People are just going to be upset. This one couple stands there and shakes their heads throughout the whole song service because they don't want to stand for so long. It's just crazy. My poor husband can see them from where he stands, of course, and I can see them from behind, so it's hard not to get upset every Sunday when you are trying to focus on worshiping God. I know my husband isn't perfect, but he is open to suggestions. There just don't seem to be any right now. I think most people (or a lot of them) would just be happy if he sat down and there was no worship music at all. We have an older congregation who mostly want hymns only. I'm sorry----this just just getting me down now. I'm glad it's fine with my husband, now, though.
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  #15  
January 10th, 2007, 08:17 AM
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It is hard when there are a few couples in teh church who don';t like the contemporary music. I LOVE it and if it is all that we sang it would be great. Our music director (we have a big church) is great about mixing old hymns and the newer songs...so we don't have much arguments. But...at my parents church, they are so strict that they rarely ever sing new songs. I dont think my parents like them really. But I don't see how they can't like them. I mean, you pop in a Chris Tomlin CD and are inspired and worshipful...arg! Annoying!

Anyways, sorry to take over your rant. I just want you to know I feel the same way.

Could that one couple sit down? I have been to a church where you are encouraged to sit and stand as you feel during the singing. It is better for comfort that way. KWIM?
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  #16  
January 10th, 2007, 08:37 AM
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Could that one couple sit down? I have been to a church where you are encouraged to sit and stand as you feel during the singing. It is better for comfort that way. KWIM?[/b]
That's what our church does. When they start the music, they tell everyone to worship in the way they feel most comfortable, be it standing or sitting. We have a pretty good mix and everyone seems happy with it.

Stacey, sounds like your DH had a fairly good chat with the pastor. I'm glad he's gotten some comfort from the conversation.
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  #17  
January 10th, 2007, 08:48 AM
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Stacey, I am so glad that you and your husband got some of this sorted out. I think you handled it just right by praying together and going straight to the pastor. So many people would have just stewed about it and eventually left the church over it! I pray that your worship continues to grow and that openess abounds! You are in my prayers as always!
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