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Tuesday morning, on my way to my Dr appt, I got a call from my sister that my grandmother passed away that morning. I could hardly drive I was crying so hard. I made it but I was 10 minutes late so they canceled my appt. (that's a whole different post )
Anyway, we immediately went to Navy Relief to get a loan to get to TX asap. We got a loan on the spot and had to get to Dustin's work to put in all the paperwork to leave. We went home and my neighbor (who had the girls this whole time) offered to watch them while we packed. We packed in 25 minutes! Got the girls in the car and off to TX we went. It was a VERY long and chaotic trip. We got to Lubbock just in time for her viewing and visitation. Dustin stayed at the hotel with the girls and I went. I wasn't sure if I wanted to see her or not so I sat in the visitation room for about 45 minutes until I decided to just glance in and see if I could handle it. I decided to go in and I lost it. It was all real to me when I saw her. She looked so beautiful and so peaceful. Just what I needed to see. It was so hard though. Her and I were so close.... it was so hard to say goodbye. Even if it was only temporary. It was so hard. (she is who Iris is named after- that is how close we were).
So, Friday was the funeral and it was exactly the service she would have wanted. It was beautiful. Dustin was an honorary pallbearer so he had to sit to the side by himself... he didn't know anyone. It was so hard for him because he was also very close to my grandmother. In fact, I guarantee that she would have wanted him as the pallbearer. So, he sat alone and cried and I sat with my sister and cried.
The poor guy was trying so hard to be strong for me. He wouldn't cry in front of me. I went to the bathroom after the service and he collapsed into my mother's arms and bawled like a little baby.
Lauren handled it really well until we got back to the hotel and she started bawling and saying she didn't want to say goodbye to "great mimommy". It was so hard to see her like that and I broke down and Dustin had to take over for me.
It's still all so shocking to me and I still break down at random moments when I am thinking about her. It is so hard. Things will not be the same without her. Her singing.. we will miss that so much. Her poetry.. all of it.. it's going to be so different.
On a side note, the girls did exceptionally well with all the driving. We had to stop in Atlanta and buy some DVD players because we couldn't take it anymore.. but other than that, they were so good. I was very thankful for that.
It's nice to be back.. but I will be here and there. This is so hard to adjust to. I know y'all understand.
No, that's the thing. She was healthy. She had just gotten over pneumonia and was being released that day. At about 7am she was sleeping and her heart just stopped. They said she went very peacefully and painlessly. She was perfectly healthy (with a few minor things that go along with being 88yrs old) But she was known for her health and memory. It was a HUGE shock to all of us... I think that's why it's so hard to deal with.