Log In Sign Up

Lurkers lurkers! Come Out Come Out


Forum: Birth Moms

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Birth Moms LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
August 4th, 2008, 06:49 PM
BoobyDutyAgainJen's Avatar Proud Mom & Birth Mom
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 28,941
Send a message via AIM to BoobyDutyAgainJen
Lurkers please come out and introduce yourself! It does not matter if you do not have a birth child...let us know who our lurkers are!

We don't bite honest!!!
__________________

Thanks *Kiliki* for the precious siggy!



Reply With Quote
  #2  
August 4th, 2008, 08:45 PM
melissa.'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 6,144
COme out, Come out where ever you are!!!!
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #3  
August 4th, 2008, 09:06 PM
4littleLadybugs's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Small Hicktown, Oklahoma
Posts: 2,048
Send a message via Yahoo to 4littleLadybugs
*raises hand sheepishly* I'm busted...I lurk!! My oldest two children were adopted, but by my mom and dad. I just kinda feel outta place here, but I love to snoop.

Sorry for lurking...
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #4  
August 5th, 2008, 07:46 AM
BoobyDutyAgainJen's Avatar Proud Mom & Birth Mom
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 28,941
Send a message via AIM to BoobyDutyAgainJen
Quote:
*raises hand sheepishly* I'm busted...I lurk!! My oldest two children were adopted, but by my mom and dad. I just kinda feel outta place here, but I love to snoop.

Sorry for lurking...[/b]

NO NO you are MORE than welcome to join us! You just have a different kind of story! Please tell us more about yourself.
__________________

Thanks *Kiliki* for the precious siggy!



Reply With Quote
  #5  
August 5th, 2008, 08:41 AM
melissa.'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 6,144
Everyone's story is unique in it's own way! Don't feel like you don't belong! You are a birth mother too.

We'd love to hear your story.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #6  
August 24th, 2008, 07:19 PM
tatanickel's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: New Bern, NC
Posts: 173
I'm a lurker too. I'd like to post my story on the board, but it's too painful to relive right now...

I had a son when I was 15 and he was adopted by a really nice couple. 5 years later I was suddenly pregnant and alone, but I had a good job and I kept the baby. She's a beautiful little girl and I wouldn't trade her for anything. Back in Feb my DH and I started TTC and I got pregnant in May. I was so happy, but so guilty. I kept thinking about the little boy I gave up. And while I know I made the best decision for him, I still felt really bad because I actually TRIED to conceive this one.

Two weeks ago, I lost the baby. It was just a failed pregnancy. And in the back of my mind, I sometimes think I deserved it because I had a son, and I gave him away. Isn't that awful! Sometimes I think I don't deserve to have any more children.

I know it's not true, and I know I made the right choice. I really had no other option. My parents wanted me to have an abortion, but I was already five months when they find out. I didn't want to tell them because I WOULD NEVER do that. Adoption made sense. I don't regret giving him the opportunity to live a better life. I be with family that was WAY better than mine, but It left me with a hole in my heart and I always feared I would not be able to have more children. I had my daughter, and she's wonderful, I love her so much. But I would like to have more....

So, that's my very abbreviated story. But I would like to join you all. It's nice to be able to talk to other people who have been through it and aren't judgemental
__________________
<div align="center"></div>
<div align="center"></div>
<div align="center"></div>
Reply With Quote
  #7  
August 25th, 2008, 07:54 AM
melissa.'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 6,144
Quote:
I'm a lurker too. I'd like to post my story on the board, but it's too painful to relive right now...

I had a son when I was 15 and he was adopted by a really nice couple. 5 years later I was suddenly pregnant and alone, but I had a good job and I kept the baby. She's a beautiful little girl and I wouldn't trade her for anything. Back in Feb my DH and I started TTC and I got pregnant in May. I was so happy, but so guilty. I kept thinking about the little boy I gave up. And while I know I made the best decision for him, I still felt really bad because I actually TRIED to conceive this one.

Two weeks ago, I lost the baby. It was just a failed pregnancy. And in the back of my mind, I sometimes think I deserved it because I had a son, and I gave him away. Isn't that awful! Sometimes I think I don't deserve to have any more children.

I know it's not true, and I know I made the right choice. I really had no other option. My parents wanted me to have an abortion, but I was already five months when they find out. I didn't want to tell them because I WOULD NEVER do that. Adoption made sense. I don't regret giving him the opportunity to live a better life. I be with family that was WAY better than mine, but It left me with a hole in my heart and I always feared I would not be able to have more children. I had my daughter, and she's wonderful, I love her so much. But I would like to have more....

So, that's my very abbreviated story. But I would like to join you all. It's nice to be able to talk to other people who have been through it and aren't judgemental[/b]




You are VERY welcome here!!! It is great to have you!! Welcome! I am looking forward to getting to know you and more about your story.
We are far from judgmental here. We have ALL been there and know the feeling that come along with it.

Just so you know, the feelings you are experiencing are completely normal. I had the exact feelings when my husband and I were trying for my DD, Lauren. I attended support groups and everything.. and yes, I lost a baby in 2005 at 11.5 weeks and I was devastated.... but had the same feelings (I just hid them well). So, what you are feeling is normal.. don't beat yourself up though. You did what was right and you gave your child LIFE. That in itself is a blessing and you should be proud of yourself.

We're here for you, hun. Whenever you feel comfortable, post your full story so we can get to know you a little better. Obviously, I understand the pain that comes along with reliving that, so I will not push you in ANY way. It's all in your time.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #8  
August 25th, 2008, 10:16 AM
tatanickel's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: New Bern, NC
Posts: 173
Thank you for understanding. I would like to post it, even to have it published ya know. It was something very important in my life. Not many know anything about it, but I would like to post it.

Thank you for making me feel welcome. it's great that there is a board for this. When I saw it I couldn't believe it! So, Maybe when I am a little more comfortable and emotionally stable I will post it...

I'm also glad to hear that my feelings are normal. I wasn't sure, and I'm so confused and lost sometimes. I was thinking about looking into support groups, but I'm not sure there are any in this area. But that's why I have you all! LOL
__________________
<div align="center"></div>
<div align="center"></div>
<div align="center"></div>
Reply With Quote
  #9  
August 25th, 2008, 01:43 PM
BoobyDutyAgainJen's Avatar Proud Mom & Birth Mom
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 28,941
Send a message via AIM to BoobyDutyAgainJen
I am so sorry for your loss. Your feelings about it I had while pregnant with my DD Leila. It is so hard to be pregnant after placing a child up for adoption.

Please share whatever you feel comfortable with sharing...we all know at least similar feelings for everything you are going through.

I look forward to getting to know you!
__________________

Thanks *Kiliki* for the precious siggy!



Reply With Quote
  #10  
August 25th, 2008, 05:20 PM
tatanickel's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: New Bern, NC
Posts: 173
It's so good to know that! LOL.... I didn't really have guilty feelings when I got pregnant with my daughter. She was sort of a surprise, okay... a total surprise. But I felt like God had given me a second chance. And since we had used protection, I figured I was meant to be a mom. But this time I feel guilty when we were trying to get pregnant, and the whole time I was because I was so HAPPY about it... I know it sounds silly, but I really did... And now that it's gone, I'm second guessing myself. What if I was only meant to have two children? I'd be heart broken. I really would like two more... I grew up with two older brothers and I really like either three or possibly four. I know that's a lot, but I have so much joy to spread and I really want to make a better life for my children. But at this point I would settle for just one more baby.... I hope and pray when we do try again that it goes well
__________________
<div align="center"></div>
<div align="center"></div>
<div align="center"></div>
Reply With Quote
  #11  
August 26th, 2008, 07:11 AM
melissa.'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 6,144
I'll keep you and your family in my prayers for that. :hugs:
I know the pain of a loss... especially after placing for adoption. Not many people understand the difference in the pain.. but there is a HUGE difference. There are all kind of fears that overcome you. You start to question yourself, God, things etc. It's really hard. I lost my baby at a time that we thought we were in the clear.. and well, he/she wasn't planned... and we were actually a little shocked/upset (I hate to admit that) when we found out because we weren't ready. Now I kick myself for it because we lost him/her a few weeks later.. just when we had started to get excited. There is a really long story behind mine... I almost lost my life in the process... but thankfully, and only by an absolute miracle I pulled through. Unfortunately, my baby didn't and it hurts so bad still, to this day. Yes, the pain of a loss after an adoption is COMPLETELY different. It's so hard for others to understand.. just know that I am here and understand if you need to talk.


I am so glad you made your way in here! It is so nice to have you here! Feel free to just jump right in.. we have a wonderful group of girls here. We try to stay as active as possible..
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #12  
August 26th, 2008, 02:06 PM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Clovis, CA
Posts: 37,167
Send a message via AIM to navywifey2003
Im lurking because Im checking on my DDB melissa! Just wanted to see how she is doing! Hugs!
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #13  
August 27th, 2008, 04:48 AM
melissa.'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 6,144
Quote:
Im lurking because Im checking on my DDB melissa! Just wanted to see how she is doing! Hugs![/b]
Awe! Thanks, hun. I really haven't been on much at all. I come check in once a day to see how everyone's doing, but I rarely have time to post... I'm sorry.. I am such a bad DDB
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #14  
September 21st, 2008, 05:13 PM
Jara's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Iowa
Posts: 4,092
Hello... I'm a lurker too. My Sister and her husband are in the process of adopting, So I kind of lurk here and on the adoption board. (They have been matched with the most wonderful woman and their son will be here in 8 weeks!)


I have to say I think that all of you are the most AMAZING Women. For being able help make a couple a family, like my sister and her husband.

I lurk to try to better understand what their bithmother must be going through...
__________________

Wyatt(5) Lydia(2) Emerson(5) Kaeden(7)
Reply With Quote
  #15  
September 23rd, 2008, 09:23 AM
tsxylilmomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Sumner, Washington
Posts: 9,928
Quote:
Hello... I'm a lurker too. My Sister and her husband are in the process of adopting, So I kind of lurk here and on the adoption board. (They have been matched with the most wonderful woman and their son will be here in 8 weeks!)


I have to say I think that all of you are the most AMAZING Women. For being able help make a couple a family, like my sister and her husband.

I lurk to try to better understand what their bithmother must be going through...[/b]
Hi Jara! Great to see you. If you have any questions the ladies on this board are wonderful.
__________________









Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:58 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0