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I am no help either. I have an open adoption and don't take as much advantage of it as I should. I saw Kate in January, the first time since she was probably 9 months old.
I am friends with her dad on Facebook, so we keep in touch that way. I felt horrible that was how he found out about both me and DH's pregnancy and subsequent miscarriage. They also have 1 other daughter they adopted....I don't want to feel like a burden on them.