Log In Sign Up

Pretty crushed


Forum: Birth Moms

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Birth Moms LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
June 17th, 2010, 10:58 PM
BoobyDutyAgainJen's Avatar Proud Mom & Birth Mom
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 28,941
Send a message via AIM to BoobyDutyAgainJen
So we have a pretty open adoption. We write, have called, see each about yearly, email, and have even IMed. We do our best to communicate as openly as possible. However since Olivia's mom got married(she was a single mom when Olivia was placed with her) and since Leila and Owen were born our communications have slowed tremendously. We are both more busy of course!

In any case we have been working on details for the trip for us to go see them at the end of the summer. She sent me an email that I don't want to share in detail but basically made me feel like absolute poop. Apparently Olivia has been seeing a counselor for obsessive thoughts and anxiety and that one big issue is her feelings about me. I still need to digest what she wrote more before I can verbalize what exactly it means to me and about me but I just needed some shoulders to boo hoo on and some thoughts.
__________________

Thanks *Kiliki* for the precious siggy!



Reply With Quote
  #2  
June 18th, 2010, 08:06 AM
Claysgirl's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 823
I am so so very sorry. I wish I could come give you a big hug. If there is anything at all I can do, please let me know.
__________________
Katie
Momma to Matthew 4-15-09
Reply With Quote
  #3  
June 18th, 2010, 08:34 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: My heart belongs in Washington DC
Posts: 6,415
I'm so sorry Jen, I wish there was something I could do. :dothugs:
__________________


Thank you to the wonderful ladies who mad the blinkies!

"The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude..... These experiences, while often difficult to bear at the time, are percisely the kinds of experiences that stretch our understanding, build our character and increase our compassion for others."
Reply With Quote
  #4  
June 19th, 2010, 09:34 AM
tsxylilmomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Sumner, Washington
Posts: 9,928
Sorry, to hear this Jen.
__________________









Reply With Quote
  #5  
June 19th, 2010, 10:09 PM
BoobyDutyAgainJen's Avatar Proud Mom & Birth Mom
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 28,941
Send a message via AIM to BoobyDutyAgainJen
Oh man I reread what I wrote and I think I wrote it the wrong way! Basically her mom is saying that Olivia needs and wants me MORE in her life rather than giving me the boot. She also basically blamed the traumatic pregnancy and my ensuing negative feelings towards Olivia on some of her current issues.
__________________

Thanks *Kiliki* for the precious siggy!




Last edited by BoobyDutyAgainJen; June 19th, 2010 at 10:13 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
June 21st, 2010, 07:56 AM
Claysgirl's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 823
Okay, well I'm glad you aren't getting the boot!
Maybe this will be good for both of you? I can't even imagine how hard it must be for you, given the circumstances (at least the ones I am aware of).
__________________
Katie
Momma to Matthew 4-15-09

Last edited by Claysgirl; June 21st, 2010 at 07:58 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
June 21st, 2010, 08:22 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: My heart belongs in Washington DC
Posts: 6,415
I'm glad you're not getting the boot Jen, that's great that Olivia WANTS you in her life more.
__________________


Thank you to the wonderful ladies who mad the blinkies!

"The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude..... These experiences, while often difficult to bear at the time, are percisely the kinds of experiences that stretch our understanding, build our character and increase our compassion for others."
Reply With Quote
  #8  
June 21st, 2010, 10:30 PM
BoobyDutyAgainJen's Avatar Proud Mom & Birth Mom
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 28,941
Send a message via AIM to BoobyDutyAgainJen
Yes it really is both a positive thing and a hard thing. It just brings up a lot of the guilt I have about her. I feel guilty that I am not MORE in her life. I feel guilt that I can't buy her anything I could possibly dream for her. I feel guilt that I am not much more ahead of where I was when I placed her for adoption. I could go on and on.

And this is a big reason why I see a therapist weekly lol.
__________________

Thanks *Kiliki* for the precious siggy!



Reply With Quote
  #9  
June 22nd, 2010, 07:11 AM
Claysgirl's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 823
I think it is great that you see a therapist, so many people refuse to admit that they made need help. I hope you will keep us posted on the process that both you and Olivia go through. I think it will be hard for you, but I think it will be good for both of you in the long run.
The way you feel makes complete sense, and you may not be much farther ahead of where you were when you chose adoption for her, but at least you are setting an example for her that no matter what happens you just keep moving forward and living your life!
__________________
Katie
Momma to Matthew 4-15-09
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:07 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0