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Had a breakdown last night


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  #1  
October 13th, 2010, 08:04 AM
Claysgirl's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 823

I had a breakdown last night, because of Teen Mom lol. It was the season finale and Caitlyn and Tyler went for their first visit with their birth daughter. Watching them interact with her, and looking at their faces, this pure mix of happiness and pain, it just brought back so many memories, and I just lost it. I have such vivid memories of the first time I saw Rebecca after the adoption. It wasn't a planned meeting, I was in the car with my Mom at Target, driving by the front of the store to go park, and there they were walking in the crosswalk. My heart just stopped, and I'm pretty sure I jumped out of the car while it was still moving. I remember what I was wearing that day, the fact that I didn't have any makeup on, I remember that Rebecca was wearing one of the dresses that I had bought for her. I remember holding her and fighting back the tears, and I remember how it felt when that tiny little 3 month old grabbed onto my finger with all her might, almost like she was trying to tell me "Yeah I remember you". And I remember how incredibly painful it was to say goodbye that day.
It's so hard for me to believe it's been almost 7 1/2 years. It still kills me that I have missed out on so much in her life, I think I just have learned to block those thoughts out, but last night they all came back. I miss that little girl so much, and while I don't regret my decision at all.....it still just sucks sometimes.

Okay, vent over, thanks for listening
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Katie
Momma to Matthew 4-15-09
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  #2  
October 13th, 2010, 03:31 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: My heart belongs in Washington DC
Posts: 6,415
I'm sorry you were having a hard time Katie.
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Thank you to the wonderful ladies who mad the blinkies!

"The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude..... These experiences, while often difficult to bear at the time, are percisely the kinds of experiences that stretch our understanding, build our character and increase our compassion for others."
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  #3  
October 14th, 2010, 04:36 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 8,103
Katie... I cried too!!

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Yet another wonderful siggy by HeatherW.... thank you so much!!!







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  #4  
October 28th, 2010, 06:01 AM
BoobyDutyAgainJen's Avatar Proud Mom & Birth Mom
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 28,941
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Awww I am boohooing for you! All the feelings for me rush back too when reading something like this. Hugs hun.
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Thanks *Kiliki* for the precious siggy!



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  #5  
November 16th, 2010, 12:56 PM
Mommysbabybear's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 113
Wow I sit here after reading that and have tears rolling down my face not just tears of sadness tears of joy also I too remember those feelings but also feelings of knowing in my heart that our birth children are ok, they are loved so much and are in wonderful homes. My daughters mother calls me and keeps me updated on what goes on in her life and sends me pics via text message I think that makes it easier to know how happy and loved she is.
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