[Claysgirl]

I had a breakdown last night, because of Teen Mom lol. It was the season finale and Caitlyn and Tyler went for their first visit with their birth daughter. Watching them interact with her, and looking at their faces, this pure mix of happiness and pain, it just brought back so many memories, and I just lost it. I have such vivid memories of the first time I saw Rebecca after the adoption. It wasn't a planned meeting, I was in the car with my Mom at Target, driving by the front of the store to go park, and there they were walking in the crosswalk. My heart just stopped, and I'm pretty sure I jumped out of the car while it was still moving. I remember what I was wearing that day, the fact that I didn't have any makeup on, I remember that Rebecca was wearing one of the dresses that I had bought for her. I remember holding her and fighting back the tears, and I remember how it felt when that tiny little 3 month old grabbed onto my finger with all her might, almost like she was trying to tell me "Yeah I remember you". And I remember how incredibly painful it was to say goodbye that day.
It's so hard for me to believe it's been almost 7 1/2 years. It still kills me that I have missed out on so much in her life, I think I just have learned to block those thoughts out, but last night they all came back. I miss that little girl so much, and while I don't regret my decision at all.....it still just sucks sometimes.

Okay, vent over, thanks for listening

[future_adoption_mommy]

I'm sorry you were having a hard time Katie.

[Kari_B]

Katie... I cried too!!

[BoobyDutyAgainJen]

Awww I am boohooing for you! All the feelings for me rush back too when reading something like this. Hugs hun.

[Mommysbabybear]

Wow I sit here after reading that and have tears rolling down my face not just tears of sadness tears of joy also I too remember those feelings but also feelings of knowing in my heart that our birth children are ok, they are loved so much and are in wonderful homes. My daughters mother calls me and keeps me updated on what goes on in her life and sends me pics via text message I think that makes it easier to know how happy and loved she is.