[BoobyDutyAgainJen]

I really enjoyed seeing Olivia in October. Like a ton. She is grown up! She is funny, and smart, and sensitive, and sweet, and loving, and has initiative, and so many wonderful, amazing qualities. And I am missing it all. I don't get to KNOW this GREAT human being. Oh it hurts sooooo much. I don't think I have put it into words but I am sobbing now that I have.

Oh how I wish things could just be different. Not that I wish I could change things 12 years ago. I just wish I lived closer, or they lived closer. It doesn't help that all my optimism about great communication and a new open link between us all seems to be only one sided.

I am sad. I think about it more than just daily. It is sort of eating me up.

[Claysgirl]

I am so sorry. I always seem to have a hard time after visits. Now that she is getting older is it possible to have more communication, or are her A parents against that?

[BoobyDutyAgainJen]

See I was great about things immediately after the visit! We hit it off splendidly and I really cherished the time together. I got home and immediately emailed them both, since Olivia had given me her email address also. ANd then...nothing! It was WEEKS before I got a response back. I was a wreck thinking that maybe they didn't think the visit went as well as I did etc. Finally, they each emailed back but since then I have sent two more emails and nothing yet. It makes me sad because I really thought the doors had been opened and we could work off the momentum to get to know each(all of us!) better. For Pete's sake her mom called Leila and Owen OUR kids!! I don't know...I just wish for more.

[Claysgirl]

Hugs, I'm sorry. How dissapointing. Why would she act like the doors have been opened up if she doesn't plan to follow through. That makes me angry for you. Hang in there hun, and keep trying! Eventually Olivia will be old enough to see how much of an effort you are putting forth. Is her A-Mom scared or intimidated by you having a more open relationship with her? I hope things change, but in the meantime, I'm here for you!