[Aero22]

Hi moms. I hope it's okay that I'm popping in here seeking advice. I've been dealing with a third pregnancy as of a few weeks now, I'm six weeks and some days, and after ruling out youknowwhat I have been looking heavily into placing my little miracle baby up for adoption. (Birth control pill dosage too low, anyone? lol..) I will be working with CareNet and doing serious research on adoption starting next week.

Has anyone here placed a baby for adoption later in life, after raising a child or two? I have two kids, they're still young and I'm giving them everything I have. I don't bond during pregnancy but I take up something fierce after they're born and I'm so worried that I will regret it. Forever. Even worse than a youknowwhat because I will truly know what I'm giving up.

I really hope I'm not hurting anyone by expressing my worries.. I'm in tears over this every single night because while I understand the right thing, I don't know if I could do it. I don't know if I can. I feel so afraid that everyone I know will judge me harshly because I'm not 16 years old, you know? I'm an adult, single full time working mom, with two thriving toddlers already, I should be able to handle what life throws at me. At this stage in this pregnancy I have finally felt the fear that so many women talk about. I am SCARED, absolutely terrified. Everything feels 'ruined' and all I want to do is move away for a year and come back, you know what I mean? What kind of mother raises two kids and just hands off a third one? I feel like that's what my peers, family, friends, will all think of me. It's what I think of me now.

How do you come to terms with it? How do you *know* it's better than the alternatives? How do you let go and how do you cope afterward?

I hope everyone understands and I apologize if I hurt anyone with my post. I'm so appreciative of everyone on the boards on this site and it feels better not having to go so alone.

[Lash]

Hi Aero, I wanted to send you a private message, but your PM options aren't open until have 10 posts (but you could bump up your post count pretty easily!). I wrote you on email so I hope that went through, but I wanted to offer some support and let you know that you aren't alone in this. I also wanted to give you some information on other birth moms and support groups that might be a little bit more active if you still wanted some input from other birth moms.