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Placing your 2nd or 3rd+? I am a wreck!


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  #1  
April 5th, 2012, 09:57 PM
Newbie
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 7
Hi moms. I hope it's okay that I'm popping in here seeking advice. I've been dealing with a third pregnancy as of a few weeks now, I'm six weeks and some days, and after ruling out youknowwhat I have been looking heavily into placing my little miracle baby up for adoption. (Birth control pill dosage too low, anyone? lol..) I will be working with CareNet and doing serious research on adoption starting next week.

Has anyone here placed a baby for adoption later in life, after raising a child or two? I have two kids, they're still young and I'm giving them everything I have. I don't bond during pregnancy but I take up something fierce after they're born and I'm so worried that I will regret it. Forever. Even worse than a youknowwhat because I will truly know what I'm giving up.

I really hope I'm not hurting anyone by expressing my worries.. I'm in tears over this every single night because while I understand the right thing, I don't know if I could do it. I don't know if I can. I feel so afraid that everyone I know will judge me harshly because I'm not 16 years old, you know? I'm an adult, single full time working mom, with two thriving toddlers already, I should be able to handle what life throws at me. At this stage in this pregnancy I have finally felt the fear that so many women talk about. I am SCARED, absolutely terrified. Everything feels 'ruined' and all I want to do is move away for a year and come back, you know what I mean? What kind of mother raises two kids and just hands off a third one? I feel like that's what my peers, family, friends, will all think of me. It's what I think of me now.

How do you come to terms with it? How do you *know* it's better than the alternatives? How do you let go and how do you cope afterward?

I hope everyone understands and I apologize if I hurt anyone with my post. I'm so appreciative of everyone on the boards on this site and it feels better not having to go so alone.

Last edited by Aero22; April 5th, 2012 at 09:59 PM. Reason: darn typos
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  #2  
April 20th, 2012, 07:41 PM
Lash's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: North Texas
Posts: 17,679
Hi Aero, I wanted to send you a private message, but your PM options aren't open until have 10 posts (but you could bump up your post count pretty easily!). I wrote you on email so I hope that went through, but I wanted to offer some support and let you know that you aren't alone in this. I also wanted to give you some information on other birth moms and support groups that might be a little bit more active if you still wanted some input from other birth moms.
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"I will make it through this because it is for her and for her, I will do anything. I am not brave, I am not strong, I am just Rhiannon’s mom". Our TTC/Adoption/Pregnancy Blog: Jump Over The Rainbow

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  #3  
September 2nd, 2013, 03:24 PM
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 14
I am new here and have the same fear as you do. This is my 5th pregnancy and I was a 16 year old mother and kept and raised my baby. How can I be going through this now as a 30 year old? You are not alone, I have no idea how I am going to get through this but it is comforting to know that I am not alone. I just found out last week and have been through every option multiple times and I really think this is the best option for me and my family, considering my situation.
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  #4  
October 4th, 2013, 08:05 AM
Newbie
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 4
You are not alone. I am 32 and I just placed my second born up for adoption. My oldest is 14 and I had him when I was 18 and I kept him..but at this stage in my life I knew I just wasn't ready for another child. I am also having a hard time coping with the guilt and anxiety I am carrying over my decision. If u need someone to talk to please email me. I could use a friend who understands what I am going through as well.
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