Scared updated

pmwjones · #1 June 6th, 2009, 12:29 PM

Hi ladies! Well, you may or may not know but I just joined the Grads section on Thurs. I got a +HPT and +BW. However....things have changed.
Yesterday afternoon about 2pm I was having some cramping and started spotting. I knew spotting is normal during pregnancy so I wasn't worried. But then, over the course of a few hours it picked up to a "light" flow. DH and I already had plans to go to dinner to celebrate our "Big News". Well, I called my friend who had a miscarriage the 1st time she conceived and told her about my bleeding and she informed me to relax, drink lots of fluids, and if it isn't red and clotty, I should be fine. Well, I told DH that we should still go to dinner and after dinner if I am still bleeding, I want to go to the ER. Well, I had put a pad on because like I said, it was a consistent light flow. Dinner was definitely NOT what we were expecting. I was freaking out, DH was worried, we didn't talk a lot because all we could think about was "if" I was experiencing a miscarriage. Let's just say the whole time at dinner all I could think about was getting through it and getting to the hospital. Well, we get to the hospital and they take me back to check my veils and everything. And just so you know, I have a low tolerance for pain and absolutely HATE needles. Well, I didn't realize the nurse was putting a catheter in me. I just thought she was taking blood like normal. I noticed it was hurting more than normal so I looked over at my arm and saw the huge thing (to me it was huge LOL) and it instantly made me feel sick to my stomach. I swear I felt like I was going to puke. So, DH handed me a bucket and the last thing I remember was that awful nauseous feeling and then waking up on my side, and the nurse still plugging away at my arm. I had passed out. Wow! Wasn't expecting that. Well, when I woke up I still felt dizzy and INSTANTLY like I had to go #2. My lower abdomen started hurting REALLY bad. I told the nurse I needed to go to the restroom NOW, or I was going to crap on myself. And yes, I said crap. LOL. So, I go to the RR and boy did I poo a LOT. Also, blood was coming out like a heaving period. UGH After I was done using the restroom I went back and lied down until it was time for me to see the doc. About an hour later I got to see the doc. FINALLY. Well, he told me my urine test was good, nothing bad was found. And that my hcg was 15. He said, that may be why my HPT I took the morning before was so light. But normally HPTs read 25 or higher. So, that automatically told me that I was losing the baby.

He did a pelvic exam and told me my uteras was about 4wks (which I already knew thanx to FF) and my cervix was closed. My cervix being closed is a good thing. Normally, during miscarriages your cervix is open to pass everything. But he told me he wanted me to come back on Monday to get my hcg checked again. If it had doubled, that was a good sign and they would proceed to do an US to check and make sure everything is okay and find out maybe why I am bleeding. But if my hcg goes down...then obviously I lost the baby.
Just so you know this was our 1st cycle TTC and we were successful. I didn't think it would happen so soon. But it did...and I was BEYOND excited. DH and I both. I am having mixed feelings right now. Part of me wants to cry but part of me still has hope. All I can do is pray and I know that no matter what, I will be okay. God will take care of us and when it is our time....it will happen.
I probably won't be on JM much this weekend. I really just want to lay low. I will update everyone after I go back to the doc on Monday though. I am about 99% sure I am losing the baby. And if so....we will just have to try again. I know NOTHING about miscarriages and from the info I have gathered, everyone is different. So, all I can do now is wait for the doc appt.
Thank you all for supporting me along the way and I no matter what I will be back to support you all soon!!!!

Heatherjfitz · #2 June 6th, 2009, 12:54 PM

Poor girl! What a night! Just try to hang in there. I know how nerve wrecking the first few weeks (or months really) of pregnancy can be. I bled too at around 5 weeks, and I remember how that feels. Although I didn't bleed heavy. Try not to read into the HCG level until you compare it with your second beta. Low numbers are okay, they just need to be doubling is all. I think somewhere on this weeks posts someone posted normal beta ranges for pregnancy and they are as low as 5 during early pregnancy. Try and rest, and drink plenty of fluids. I really hope your little bean is sticking, and hope the bleeding stops. I think some ladies on here experienced quite a bit of bleeding too, maybe they can be more reassuring to you. Good luck! KUP!

BabyBird · #3 June 6th, 2009, 01:13 PM

I am so sorry you had such a bad night. I have gotten BFPs on an HPT when my HCG was only 15 just a few hours later and continued to rise. Hopefully you just got a very sensitive test. I have had three losses so I know the waiting game is the worst because you don't want to lose hope. Good luck with your next beta and we are here for you either way.

stlgirl · #4 June 6th, 2009, 01:58 PM

oh sweetie...sooooo sorry that you're going through this, hopefully Monday brings you happy news! T&P!!

*Mommy2Camden* · #5 June 6th, 2009, 02:03 PM

I'm SO sorry you are going through all of this chica. We are all here if you need anything, and I'll be praying for good news on Monday.

shannaj · #6 June 6th, 2009, 03:20 PM

BIG HUGS...I am so sorry that your body is being tricky right now. I spotted in early pregnancy as well. It was around 8 weeks, but I know how scary it is. I ended up carrying to full term though...so it doesn't mean its the end. The fact that your cervix is still closed is a very good sign...try to keep hope, and know that we are all here for you. I'll say a prayer for you and your little bean.

..Christine.. · #7 June 6th, 2009, 03:53 PM

Lots of thoughts and prayers coming your way! I'm so sorry you are going through this!

Lauren S · #8 June 6th, 2009, 05:16 PM

I hope you get good news from your second beta. Hang in there!

pmwjones · #9 June 6th, 2009, 05:16 PM

Thank you all so much for you support.

Do you know....how soon we will be able to try again if we do lose this one?

Denise123 · #10 June 6th, 2009, 06:43 PM

Wow - what a story! I'm soo sorry you had to go through that! You will be in my prayers!!! If this does turn out to be a MC - every doctor is different on when you can start trying again. I had a natural MC last year - and my doctor pretty much said I could start trying whenever I was emotionally ready. She did say that if I had a D&C she would want me to wait a couple of months to give my uterus time to heal from the surgery...but every doctor has different opinions on this. I'm praying you don't even have to consider this .... and that your little bean is just being difficult right now....and that your betas are doubling!

Just know that we are all here for you...and I understand you needing to take a break from JM until you get some answers....hang in there!!!!

Oreobaby · #11 June 6th, 2009, 09:44 PM

I comment on this in the TTC #1 board, but I just wanted to say that I am praying for you and your bean...

Please KUP.

Jarheadwed · #12 June 6th, 2009, 09:59 PM

Oh my gosh, sweetie. I will be thinking of you. I hope its all just a big scare.

celebr8 · #13 June 7th, 2009, 05:01 AM

Crystal ~ I'm so sorry that you're going through this! I hope everything works out and your little bean sticks! You're in my thoughts and prayers!

Jarheadwed · #14 June 7th, 2009, 12:28 PM

How are things today?

Elijah'sMommy · #15 June 7th, 2009, 02:45 PM

I am so sorry you are going through this right now. I hope everything goes well with the doctor tomorrow.

pmwjones · #16 June 7th, 2009, 03:41 PM

As of today I am still bleeding pretty heavily. I am not filling up a pad super quick, but when I wipe it is red and clotty.

DH and I have just been relaxing at home and I have been trying to drink lots and lots of water. I am pretty certain I am losing our little bean. My bbs aren't really even sore anymore and I just have that gut feeling it is gone.

But tomorrow we will know for sure. I have started a blog for my family and friends to stay updated with us if you are interested.

All about the BABY!

Em2528 · #17 June 7th, 2009, 03:55 PM

Im sorry you are going through this, I know its a painful process. Im still hoping for a miracle for you though.

As far as your question about how soon you can start to ttc again if you have a loss...drs will tell you to wait a few cycles, but with my early losses I didnt have a problem trying the very next cycle. I think they tell you to wait more for the emotional reasons rather than the health reasons. Your body knows what to do so as long as your hcg numbers go back to being negative (anything below 6) then IMO its up to you if you want to start trying again. After some of my losses I wanted nothing more than to just be pg again, so we tried right away. I would talk to your dr and see what they think. Some will say (like I said) to wait a few cycles, and some will say they dont see any problem with trying right away. Id say do whatever you and your dh feel is right. Im so sorry again. HUGS!!

pmwjones · #18 June 7th, 2009, 04:07 PM

Thank you Erika. That is good to know. Yea, right now my gut is telling me our baby bean is gone. And all I want is to try again and make it happen again...ASAP. DH feels the same way. I am wondering though. If right now is when my period should be anyways...or maybe a few days ago....
Do you think I will still O in a couple weeks?? Or will it be awhile??

RubyRed03 · #19 June 7th, 2009, 04:21 PM

I am sorry that you are losing the little bean. When I lost mine on May 18 I ovulated 18 days later. I am now 4 DPO and yes we did try again this cycle. The doctor suggested that we wait a cycle or two and we had originally decided that we would wait a month. Well that went out the door about a week ago just in time for O! So I suppose that it is up to you and your hubby to decide. But just remember to take all the time that you guys need.