It is time...about my dog. Updated Post #21

BabyBird · #1 July 16th, 2009, 09:57 AM

So last night I spent most of the night awake just listening to Jasper (he has canine lymphoma) breathe and it broke my heart. He has been struggling to breathe for a few weeks but this was his worst night yet. I spent about an hour laying on the floor (yes, at 8 months pg) with him and trying to comfort him because I knew it couldn't be comfortable for him to have to breathe as hard as he was. I also knew if it were me I would be so scared and want someone to lay with me. He pretty much didn't sleep all night and would get up and pace the bedroom like he didn't know what to do and then lay back down. The part that is hard for me is that he still gets up and wags his tail and gives me kisses but when he is done all he wants to do is lay on the kitchen floor and rest. We went to my parent's house last night for dinner and when he didn't want to play ball with my dad we knew that was a sign. He was just too tired. He still wants to be near us and wants to do his "job" by being the loyal, loving dog that he is but I know he is suffering now. Being a respiratory therpist it breaks my heart that there is nothing I can do to make is breathing more comfortable. Last night I was laying there with him thinking that if he were a human there is no way he would make it through the night the way he was breathing. He was finally able to relax and sleep some so I went back to bed and finally got some sleep at about 4am. I woke up at 9 and he was downstairs. DH had gone to work at about 630 and Jasper always comes back upstairs to bed with me after DH feeds him and leaves for work but not today. He was asleep in the kitchen and when I came downstairs he didn't get up immediately. He did when I asked him to but if it were up to him he would have just laid there. I just can't let him have another night like last night. DH agrees it is time and so do my parents. My sister just stopped by with my nephews to say goodbye and of course he got all excited and slobbered them with kisses and almost made me second guess my decision but then as soon as they left he collapsed in the kitchen and is back to breathing hard. I want to cuddle with him but he hasn't wanted that for a few weeks. I don't want to make him do something he doesn't want to do. He used to always be on the couch with me but since he started having trouble breathing he prefers the floor and I don't blame him. We are going to leave in a little over an hour to take him to the vet. I am going to make sure the vet agrees with us that it is time. I don't want it to be too soon but at the same time I don't want him to get worse and then it be the weekend and there wont' be anything we can do to make him comfortable. This was a very tough decision for me as Jasper has been my baby for almost 7 years. He was with me before I met DH and has always been there for me.

Sorry this is so long...I could probably keep going on and on but I know I have probably rambled enough already. So if you pray please say a prayer for Jasper today and for peace for DH and I that we made the right decision.

These pictures were taken last week. You can see his distended belly and the large mass in his neck. These were the first pictures I have ever taken that shows even the slightest twinge of sadness in his eyes.

Before he was sick, sticking his tounge out at me!

CandaceDianne · #2 July 16th, 2009, 10:04 AM

I am sooo sorry!!! I have tears in my eyes just thinking about it. I am sure you guys are making the right decision and I know the vet will agree. I would never want to see my puppy go through that either. Sounds like he has been an awesome member of the family. Its an unfortunate part of life!

Em2528 · #3 July 16th, 2009, 10:05 AM

Oh April I am in tears

Im so sorry this has come to this. I completly understand your desicion and your reasoning. We all want whats best for our pets, they are our babies too and if he is suffering, while its a very hard thing to do, we have to do whats best for them. God Bless you during this hard time and ill Pray that peace will be with Jasper and also with you and Brian. I wish I could just hug you right now and give Jasper a kiss. Stay strong. HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~* Liss *~ · #4 July 16th, 2009, 10:09 AM

I'm so sorry April! Words cannot describe how it feels. I totally understand.

SUPER BIG HUGS!!!

Sam914 · #5 July 16th, 2009, 10:17 AM

I'm sorry! my mom just had her doggy put down last month its so sad

She knew when he didnt even want to go for a ride (his FAVORITE thing) that it was the right decision. Just because they're alive doesnt mean they're "ok" kwim?

hugs

BabyBird · #6 July 16th, 2009, 10:19 AM

Thank you girls.

~April04~ · #7 July 16th, 2009, 10:20 AM

((hugs)) I too had tears in my eyes reading that.. I'm so sorry April... but this is the right decision for ya'll to make, you don't want Jasper to suffer any more than he has to.. I know how heartbreaking this must be for you though - my dogs are like my children too.. ((hugs)) I'll be thinking of ya'll.

Boo · #8 July 16th, 2009, 10:25 AM

I'm so sorry April!

I will keep you guys in my prayers.

downunderchick · #9 July 16th, 2009, 10:35 AM

aww April, im really sorry. How sad that he wont get to meet Haylea. Its horrible when pets are so ill. We had a jack Russell who had diabetes & epiliepsy and there were so many times we thought she wouldnt make it through the night.

Will be thinking of you, loads of big hugs for you
XXXX

Brenda04 · #10 July 16th, 2009, 10:36 AM

I'm so sorry I can't even believe how hard this must be for you ((HUGS)) I will keep you guys in my T&P

Etph007 · #11 July 16th, 2009, 10:40 AM

I am crying as I write this!! I am SO SO SO Sorry!!!!

I can't even tell you how sorry I am for the pain you must be feeling. My two dogs are my absolute WORLD- people think I'm crazy! There's also something special about that first dog- they are just always your baby and it's impossible to imagine life without them. I can't imagine what you're going through but I can understand you not wanting to see your baby in pain. I would feel the same way. Please know that we're here for you during this difficult time. I know Jasper will be at peace and out of pain! Hang in there sweety!

Jessy133 · #12 July 16th, 2009, 10:43 AM

April I have been MIA and had no idea jasper was sick. I am soo sorry. I am here crying for you and him. But I know your making the right decision, you dont want him to suffer, which shows how wonderful you are, we would all love to selfish and keep them with us but we have to do what is right for them.

I am praying for you all.

chloe12 · #13 July 16th, 2009, 10:58 AM

Oh Hun, I'm so sorry. I too am all teary eyed. Our pets are our children...I will be thinking about you and you husband today. *Hugs*

Celry · #14 July 16th, 2009, 11:09 AM

I'm so sorry. I know how hard it is to finally make that decision. From your post, it sounds like you're making the right decision for Jasper. I'll be thinking about you.

lissy8 · #15 July 16th, 2009, 11:10 AM

Hugs~I am so sorry you have to make that decision. It is so hard for a devoted pet owner to have to make that decision. I hope that you get the reaction you want from your vet and Jasper can rest peacefully.

~*Jackie*~ · #16 July 16th, 2009, 11:13 AM

I'm so so sorry!

Elijah'sMommy · #17 July 16th, 2009, 11:20 AM

April I am sitting here crying for you and Jasper. My heart goes out to you for having to make this very difficult decision. Just know that you are making the right decision and that Jasper will no longer be suffering to breathe. Our pets truly are like our children and when they are in pain, it tears at our hearts. I can sympathize, my older dog has a lump (probably cancerous, that varies in size) on her shoulder that is waiting to be removed (keeps shrinking the day of scheduled surgery). Every time I think of her in surgery, I cry.

Thank you for sharing those pictures of Jasper. He looks like he was a very special pup that was full of love.

Micksbabe · #18 July 16th, 2009, 11:53 AM

I am so sorry April.

I hope that you and Brian are alright. I hate to see my dogs in pain, it tears my heart out. I will be praying for you all and know that Jasper will be looking down on you from doggy heaven!!

polarbearmama · #19 July 16th, 2009, 12:15 PM

April, I am so heartbroken for you.

This is one decision that we all hope we never have to make for our pets, but it is at times the most humane one as well. You are so absolutely right, our pets are our babies and they are sooo loyal to us. A few years ago, our aging dog was struggling to breathe and had cardiac issues. We finally decided to try one last treatment and took him to the vet to be monitored over the weekend and not even that afternoon, we got a call saying that he had passed on his own. I think he was putting up a brave front for our sake because he knew how much we didn't want to let him go and once he was alone, he was able to finally go to sleep.

You will definitely be in my prayers.