Hey ladies. I have a birth control question and thought you smart gals could help me out.

At my 6 week pp check-up I got the mini pill. Well, that was 6 weeks ago and I have yet to take it. DH wants me to start already since he has only gotten some lovin 3 times since Jack's birth. Here is my problem with it - I have never been on the pill in my life. We didn't need birth control with eachother before, and b/c of PCOS I hardly ovulated to begin with. BUT DH's MFI only exists part of the time - the rest of the time he is super fertile (he has retrograde ejaculation from spinal surgery, but the nerves have steadily been re-routing or something b/c nowadays it is hardly retrograde at all!). So then that just leaves me, and even though it took 6 months of fertility treatments, who knows how my body has changed. So we need something.

Uh sorry this has turned into a novel. My concern is that on the pill I will be regular when I never was before. And I know with the mini pill you have to be exactly on the hour when you take it. I am not so great at that. Ok here is my actual question, lol - when they say ebf (which we are doing) is a form of birth control but that it has to be "on demand", what exactly to they mean by on demand? I don't think I have fed Jack on demand since he was like 2 weeks old. He eats about every 3 or 4 hours, but sometimes goes 5 hours and is sleeping through the night most nights. But if he wakes in the night I feed him, other then that he eats sort of on a schedule unless he is sleeping, then he goes longer. And right before bed he may eat at a 2 hour interval. Is this considered on demand? How protected am I with breastfeeding? I worry because I noticed some ewcm several times a while ago, but nothing else happened. Then I started having pregnancy nightmares lol. It is so unlikely from the couple of encounters we had, but it makes me paranoid. My biggest fear is to be that infertile that gets pregnant right away again, and then to be that woman that doesn't realize it until she is 5 months along or something. At the same time I am annoyed to add another daily pill to my schedule especially since I have to be so strict with it which I know will be an issue. What birth control are you ladies on? I plan on using NFP once my cycles start again, but that may be awhile. I don't want to get pregnant anytime soon, but DH is not up for the whole celibacy thing lol

Agh that was long.

[Hoosier Kitty]

Hello

If you chart your CM, I would not have sex during fertile time... that way you dont need the BC pills?

[downunderchick]

Hello stranger, missed us too much hey?

Over here they breastfeeding should be on demand, Jack sounds like Bella, not to a strict schedule, they just let yaknow when they are hungry. From what I understand thats very much feed on demand. I wouldnt trust EBF on its own as a form of BC, we are using condoms as our BC. Although we want our kids fairly close in age, i can imagine the first time we dtd unprotected we will fall again despite taking 2 yrs anyway. Sorry I cant really answer your question though.

Just so you know, my mum fell pregnant while BF me (think i was on solids then too though so not EBF) and she didnt realise until she was 5 months because she was BF me.

Nice to see you too!!

[Etph007]

I dont have the answer... I will use the Mirena after I give birth.... but i just wanted to say HI! It's good to see you over here again!!!

Em, Bella is so beautiful! I still stalk this board a lot, I just rarely post. The babies are getting so big it is insane.

Aaron, I plan on doing that but wonder if I wouldn't miss the first ovulation b/c the signs have changed. I mean, I still get some pain in my incision sometimes, and could easily mistake that pain for O pain. Sometimes my va-jay-jay gets numb too still. It is all weird down there.

So I suppose feeding on a loose schedule could be on demand? I think part of the paranoia is that my brother and I were 13 months apart, and my mom was on the mini pill. I don't want a repeat and feel superstitious about it. Silly I know, but I really REALLY enjoy having just Jack. I originally thought I wanted kids close together, but a 4 year gap is looking more and more appealing.

Hi Erin! The mirena makes me squeamish to think about. You would think not at this point but I am a wuss. I never even did cervical checks while ttc. I wouldn't mind if someone else did it, so long as it wasn't me!

[BabyBird]

I wouldnt count on ebf as bc..i think i have o'd already an having a light af now. you can never be sure and you will o before your first af comes and ebf doesnt always keep her away for everyone. what about thi minipil and condoms or pull out? doubling up might make you feel better.

I know you can't count on ebf alone, which is why I have the pills. But my midwife told me that the combination of me ebf, the infertility and the mini pill should make me pretty safe. Because I don't feel 100% with the mini pill alone since you have to be pretty strict on it and I know I wouldn't be strict enough, and I don't feel safe with ebf alone which is why dh isn't getting any. And the man is SPOILED from the four years of unprotected sex with no baby. So PNP or condoms are likely not happening. I mean, I get it - I don't like condoms either. I seriously am fine with no sex - too bad he doesn't see it that way!

I guess what I am saying is that I would feel better about taking the pill if I could also count on some protection from feeding on demand, if that is what I am actually doing. Otherwise maybe I should consider another form of bc? Does anyone know of other forms that are good for bfing? I only discussed the mini pill with my midwifes.

[MommaLee]

Hi....just wanted to say you could pop over to the Natural Family Planning Board. If Shawna is still the host (I think her screen name is ShawnaCan) she is super duper knowledgeable about ebf and the protection it offers - she is a nurse and actually teaches NFP classes. I would repeat what she has said to others in the past, but I don't want to tell you something wrong.

[KCMomma]

Don't have much for ya Michelle as I got the Mirena!! But I just wanted to say hi and that we truly miss ya on here! I would go with the pp and check out the NFP board and see if they have more info for ya. GL and I too could NOT imagine getting prego again right now...the 4 year plan looks great to me!!!!

Thanks ladies, I will check out that board when I get a chance. And as always, I will be stalking you all and your pregnancies/babies. This is the only place I stalk on a regular basis

[courtneytcu98]

I was just wondering where you had gotten to yesterday and then today you showed up! I could have written your posts word-for-word minus the MFI part. I chose not to use the mini-pill because I figured that synthetic hormones might confuse my already PCOS- confused body! I don't really have anything to offer in the way of advice--I basically told DH that if he wanted to have s-e-x it would be with condoms because I wasn't putting hormones in my body. We try to be good about it, but there have been a couple of times we've slipped and then I agonize over the what-if's as I have my glass of wine.

[downunderchick]

Michelle copied from babycentre website

Feeding on demand simply means feeding your baby whenever he signals that he's hungry — usually by crying or sucking on his hands — rather than according to a set schedule. The terms "on cue" or "ad lib" are a better way to describe feeding according to your baby's needs than "demand" feeding. The latter can mislead people into thinking that feeding a baby whenever he's hungry will turn him into a demanding little tyrant!

Me and my Brother are actually only 14 months apart!
I know you are meant to be at your most fertile after having a baby and I keep getting twinges which Im not sure if its possible O pains, or just my scar healing. Im glad you stalk the board still
XXX

[Lauren S]

No help here from me as I can't use anything with hormones. We're using condoms along with EBF. We did find some really good new condoms though. They hardly feel like anything is on there. They're called Avanti Bare.

Good to see you around! Can we see a new pic of Jack?

[Lo_and_Behold]

I'm going to be starting Yasmin (what I was on before TTC) as soon as AF flies into town next week. I'm sorry I don't know anything about the mini pill.

Just wanted to say that it can take a while for everything to go back to normal. I'm 6 months PP & I'm not sure if I've definitely ovulated yet even though I've gotten AF every month. Some of the telltale signs have been there, but not all.
And as far as the pain from the c/s, I still have it too! If anything puts too much pressure on the incision site, it's still really uncomfortable & I still have a lot of numbness. I've read it can take years, if ever, for that to go away
Hope you're able to work something out that's best for you & DH. And it's good to see you over here

[downunderchick]

i HATE the numbness bit its horrible.

[samspain]

Is the numbness from a c-section as I havent had that?

Me and my sister are 13 months apart as my mum was ebf and mini pill, so dont rely on that!

we use condoms as I cant do bcp.

[Lauren S]

[quote=samspain;17346909]Is the numbness from a c-section as I havent had that?[quote]

Yes, it's from when they cut through your nerves. It's numb all around the incision. So annoying!

I heard that too about the numbness taking forever to go away. Blech. And I too don't want to do the hormones. Maybe I will just tell DH he is outta luck and we should use condoms for a while. I will check out those ones you listed Lauren

[KCMomma]

Oh yeah, definitely still have the numbness here too! Just plain sucks!!!

Michelle - Jack is absolutely adorable! He looks like such a happy baby!!! Love the pics!!!!

[lttle_one]

NAKing, so this'll be short. EBFing is 98% effective if done in a certain way. More info at kellymom.com :: Breastfeeding and Fertility

I don't do hormonal BC anymore. We use VCF Vaginal Contraceptive Film - Index You can get a free sample from the site. Easy and neither one of us can tell it's there. My brother and SIL have used this method successfully for 2 1/2 years, so I trust it.