[KCMomma]

I feel like I've been a bit MIA lately, so sorry for that. Also, I feel like a bad JM sister...it's so hard to keep up with all you prego ladies so I'm sorry for that. I do love watching all of your bellies grow and hear all of your anticipation of your LO's!!

Well, Paige will be 4 months on Saturday and I can't believe it! I would love to say that time as flown by, but in reality I feel like she's been here for years! Forgive me in advance because this has just been one of those really bad days so I'm pretty down and negative right now. I really thought we were getting out of this fussy stage but I guess not. The past week or so have been soooo rough. I just don't understand. She sleeps GREAT at night so I know I shouldn't be complaining, but she almost refuses to sleep during the day at all which in turn makes our evenings HORRIBLE! Does anyone else have problems with their LO's not taking naps? Has anyone started rice cereal yet? My MIL (who watches her all day) thinks maybe she's not getting enough to eat. She typically gets about 25 ounces or so a day. Some days a little less and some days more. As some of you know, after about 10 weeks she stopped latching (I know...I should have worked with her more to get her back on the breast, but I didn't) so I've been exclusively pumping ever since. In the past weeks I have started the weaning process (for both her and I) and I'm now down to just pumping twice a day. We are now on our third formula and think we found the one that works best, Enfamil AR - since she spits up like crazy!!! Anyway, she's been on half and half bottle (half BM and half formula) for a few weeks and she's still fussy?!?!? We go in for her 4 month appointment on Monday so I will be talking to the doc about it, although after this appointment we are changing ped's because I just don't particuarly care for them, but overall, I'm just so exhausted and frustrated. I feel like we have absolutely no idea what we are doing - right or wrong and honestly, feel like a bit of a failure as a mother. I'm just so lost right now. I think I just needed to vent a little bit so thanks for listening ladies.

Otherwise for me, I'm still working out like crazy and super excited about my progess on my body. I've been working with a trainer for the past 10 weeks and soon will be taking my "after" photos and can't wait to show everyone my progress! I've never been this lean and still have some more to lose so I'm pumped about that! The weaning process has been mentally difficult for me. I didn't want to stop this early, but keeping up with the pumping has become more and more difficult (especially with my job) so I know it's the right thing to do - it's just hard. Sometimes I feel like I'm giving up, but other times I'm ok with it. DH and I had our first weekend away this past weekend. It was our anniversary and went on our annual winery trip with some friends. My mom (who lives out of town) got to watch her. It was good for everyone involved! DH and I so needed this time away and it was absolutely perfect. We got to talk and reconnect again so that was great and my mom got to see Paige so it was great for them to bond too! Don't get me wrong, it was super hard to leave her for the weekend though. We missed her like crazy!!!

Anyway, we do have some good moments and that's when I try to take some pics!!






Thanks for listening ladies...hope I wasn't too negative.

[xanada101]

Not at all Gwen! I can feel the frusturation as I read your post. As for the cereal thing DON'T DO IT... seriously, it made Kerrigan so much worse because her little belly wasn't ready for it. Wait for your Dr to give you the ok. It really sounds to me like, if you could just get her to take a nap or two during the day she would be a happier baby.... but how to go about that.... I am not really sure.
As for BF.... I say congratulations on making it this far! Seriously. If Kerrigan had stopped latching, I probably wouldn't have pumped as long as you have. You have given it alot and I commend you for that. I really think that you are a great mom.
I am so glad that you can share with us your frusturations.Please don't ever hesitate to vent. I just wish I could offer some advice. (HUGS)

BTW... she is so beautiful!

[xanada101]

I found this link, I don't know if it'll help :

Sleep Solutions for Your Baby, Toddler, and Preschooler :: the blog: "My Newborn Won't Nap"

[Celry]

i feel your frustration. my girls are only just under 8 weeks, so i haven't had as long to get frustrated, but they don't sleep. i video taped them the other day so dh could see what most of my days are like. they tend to behave better on the weekend. i'm beginning to think they don't like me they just scream and scream, but there is nothing wrong. they latch well, but like to snack instead of eat every 3-4 hours. i'm feeding for a huge chunk of my day. i know what their different cries mean and answer them accordingly. they can scream at me for an hour just because they are tired and need to sleep. i do everything in my power to help her sleep. if they do sleep and i put them down, at least one will start crying again within a few minutes. i timed it last tuesday and the longest i got before one woke was about 5 minutes. i had a whole 30 before they were both awake.

i'm jealous you're working out so much. i've managed to get 4 workouts in since they wqere born. i tried to do yoga the last two days at home, but they woke up every time i started. dh has been gone at night, so he hasn't ben able to watch them and when he is here they want to eat so i still don't get much of a break. my parents are coming today to give me a little break.

i know it's hard, but it will get better. you're probably going to have a toddler with a strong personality. you'll have to giver her choices all day long so she gives in when you need to decide something.

[stlgirl]

I'm not a mommy yet so I don't have any advice, but I just wanted to say you're doing a great job and I hope you don't think of yourself as a failure! She's beautiful, just fussy. A lot of moms struggle with this, it isn't something you are doing wrong. I hope you can find a solution soon.

[Lyz]

do you think it's the mixing of half BM and half formula that could be making her fussy? do you mix them together or give it to her in separate bottles? Because I'm planning to exclusively pump, I have done a ton of research and some say this can cause more fussiness in babies because it's too much on their bellies to mix together. Just a thought!

I'm sorry it's been rough of you lately but it's awesome that you and DH got to go away for a weekend! Can't wait to see updated pics of your hardwork at getting in shape

[CandaceDianne]

I dont have any advice, because I am a mommy.....just the baby isn't here yet. BUT my SIL had the same fussy problem with my niece and they couldnt even do half and half. They had to stick strictly with the super sensitive formula (pretty sure its the same you are talking about, the AR). That helped a ton!!!
I am glad the personal training is going really well!! I cant wait to see before and after photos! I think its VERY good you and DH went out for a weekend to reconnect again, that's awesome!!! I think its definitly want you guys needed as well.
Your baby is too cute!! I LOVE her smile!!
Other than that, all I can offer are hugs! And just so you know, you arent a failure as a mother! I can see how much love she gets from you guys just by the look in her eye!

[polarbearmama]

First off, some major for you! I am not a mom yet, but I think you are doing a fantastic job with her...it is so obvious how much you love your little girl and have tried everything (including pumping) to keep her happy...

I'm glad that you and DH were able to get away and that you've been able to work out...I'm sure that workout time is a good break and a good time to take care of yourself! I can't wait to see pictures...I bet you look amazing already!!!

[KCMomma]

Thank you all so much for listening to my rant!! I swear I would not know what to do without you girls. Sometimes DH just doesn't fully understand the support I get from you all.

Toni - I will check out that site to see if there is anything I can do. Thanks!!
Valerie - Oh I so feel your frustration...I seriously couldn't imagine doing this with TWO fussy babies. You are such a strong woman!!! How much longer do you have till you go back to work - or are you? I can't remember. As for working out, I'm sure that will come. Im only allowed to do so because my DH is SUPER supportive and is home in the evenings. If he weren't, I wouldn't be able to. There have been plenty of days where she just has other plans for me - and it doesn't include the gym. What's frustrating is our gym has a daycare but she's so fussy that the few times that I've brought her there, I ususally have to leave because she starts screaming. It's truly so embarrassing. UGH
Lyz - Just curious, how does mixing the BM and formula make them more fussy? If this is the case, then maybe I will think about going to all formula and all BM bottles. I don't know...I'm willing to try anything!!!!

Thanks for all the thoughts and encouragement! Truly makes my day!!!

[MommaLee]

I'm not a mom either YET, but I come from a large family...my mom ran an at home daycare, and I've helped with my brothers 3 children. I've got some experience...but I'm definitely not a guru!

I would agree that maybe a nap would help with the fussiness - but you might just have you an outspoken baby and as she gets older and more mobile, she'll grow out of it. It may not be that you are doing anything wrong....it is just her personality right now.

You may already do this, but you could fill a bottle with water and then after she finishes her bottle of milk, you can offer her some water and see if she'll take it. That might help you gauge if you need to add another ounce or so to her daily feedings. Anyways....just a thought.

She is gorgeous....

[NortheastWifey]

Oh hun!!! I'm so sorry!!! That does NOT sound fun. First, don't be so hard on yourself about stopping giving her breastmilk. You are a major trooper for pumping this long. I don't think I could have done it! Pumping is a pain in the rear!

I was having trouble getting Amelia to take a nap during the day (and I still do sometimes) but my daycare provider seemed to have no problem whatsoever. I was like, "What sort of magic are you working to get her to nap?!" And she just puts her down in her crib at daycare as soon as she sees signs of tiredness. I tried it and, amazingly, it works. Not all the time, but a more than I expected. I was absolutely SURE it would not work for me, but I'm glad I tried it. We have one of those ocean wonders little thingys in her crib and I put it on if she's still awake and she'll lie there content for a while and usually fall asleep. She doesn't sleep nearly as long as she does at daycare (I think my daycare lady has the magic touch - she's been at it for almost 20 years and has three daughters of her own), but at it's enough to nap out the fussies.

I would still ask your pedi at your next appt, too, just to rule out anything else. But definitely don't feel like a failure as a mother. I've had my days, too. I mean, I've babysat a TON of babies in my lifetime, but I feel like it's so different when they're yours and they're with you all the time rather than for a few hours. I have felt so clueless at times and wonder if I'm doing everything okay. We're all so hard on ourselves! Hang in there. From the looks of those pictures, you are doing great. Paige is adorable. I hope it's a matter of time before her fussiness is a distant memory.

ETA: That's awesome about your weightloss!! It's hard work for sure! I'm finally fitting back into all of my clothes, but I definitely still need to tone up. Time to drag my bum to the gym!!

[BabyBird]

I didn't read all the responses and I don't have any answers but I wanted to offer my ((HUGS))! LOL I have been reading the book Amazon.com: Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child (9780345486455): Marc Weissbluth: Books and it talks about overtired babies being fussy and ways to help them get more out of their naps. I know you said she sleeps well at night though so that might not be the problem. Maybe try giving whole BM bottles and whole formula instead of mixing...I don't know anything about mixing so I don't know if that could be a problem or not, however I read that mixing helps them digest because the enzymes in the BM help them digest the formula. I know I just confused you though! Sorry! I hope your days get better and congrats on the weight loss! I am jealous! I am still too scared to take her to the Y daycare so I can work out. I am not ready for non family (and even still nervous for family!) to watch her and also it is getting to be flu season and I don't want her exposed. Sigh...what to do? LOL

[Micksbabe]

Oh Gwen I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. I don't know what I would do with a fussy baby but I will probably find out shortly!!!

She is absolutely adorable and I think the advice that all the other ladies gave you is good. I won't try to tell you what to do, since I have no experience, but I want you to know that you can vent to us anytime you want!! It is nice to have people just to listen and understand what you are going through.

You are a great Mom and never forget it!!!

[Celry]

i don't think i'm going back. if i did, it would be in 4 weeks.

my gym has a nursery too and they are old enough to go, but they are too fussy and i wouldn't get a workout in. after my post this morning they actually slept for a short time and i got 30 minutes of yoga in. woohoo.

as for mixing the bm and formula...i also heard that was better than straight formula. who knows. it probably varies by baby.

[Boo]

Big hugs to you, Gwen! I'm sorry I have no other advice for you. It sounds like she would be in better spirits if she napped during the day but I honestly don't know how you could go about it. Try watching her more closely and when you notices sleepy cues, put her down and see what happens.

[~* Liss *~]

Hey Gwen! I'm not a mommy yet but I can totally say that you are doing great!! Paige looks so happy in the pictures and she is absolutely gorgeous!! Congrats!!

Keep up the good work sweets!!

Patience is key!

[ChristinaR]

First off I just want to send big HUGS!!! Don't think you are a failure. All babies are different and what might work for one won't work for another. I think you are doing all you can in the situation and are trying everything in the right steps. I think eventually you will come accross something that will make all the difference. Good luck hun!!

Your baby is gorgeous and I can't wait to see those before and after pics.

[xanada101]

I have been trying to put Kerrigan down at the first sign of her being tired too (rubbing her hair and face with her hands or alot of whining) and it seems to help with her naps. I have also asked DH to stop trying to keep her up if she seems tired.

Amazon.com: H. Grable's review of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child

I found this review of the book April recommended... sounds kinda promising.

[courtneytcu98]

I have to triple-recommend "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." I know we have messaged before and you know that Elliott was NOT a sleeper. It was out of desperation at 10 weeks that I bought the book, and with much determination that we set about changing his sleep patterns. Even now, at 8 months, naps are a challenge. He will get into his crib and play to keep himself awake! Grr. The good news is that he sleeps for 12 hours straight at night. Sleep is the one thing that is our huge struggle. . . and the only thing that has made me seriously doubt my mothering skills! Sleep deprivation does some weird things to your perspective!!!

I am going to go into speech therapist mode for a moment. . .

It honestly sounds like Paige has some gut discomfort. Maybe beyond reflux. Have you tried any of the pre-digested formulas like Nutramagen? It is specialized for babies who can't break down the proteins in the formula. . . I think it might be worth a shot. The mixing of BM and formula shouldn't cause any further upset, based on the feeding courses I have attended. If I can slip on my feeding therapist hat for a moment, I have a few questions for you:
What are her poops like?
How often does she poop?
What is she like immediately after a feeding?
10 minutes later? 30 minutes?
What is your routine when putting her down to bed?
How many ounces per day is she taking?
How much at a time?
How long does it take her to drink one bottle?
How does she let you know if she is hungry?

I would actually disagree with Toni (respectfully, of course) about feeding her solids--but very cautiously and depending on how you answer the questions above. We started oatmeal w/ Elliott at 4 months and he loved it. Loved. Remember, though that my little man is super-skinny, and I always made sure to feed him after breast/bottle to make sure I wasn't taking away any calories from those sources. HOWEVER, grains are very hard on a baby's digestive system, if I were going to do it over again, I would probably introduce a very gentle food first--probably applesauce. From what I read, Paige is consuming on the low end of recommended ounces of formula, I think ( need to verify this).


As for the weaning, I understand the guilt. I felt the same way when I stopped pumping, but I also just couldn't do it anymore. Couldn't. It was wearing me out, and after I stopped I felt so much freedom. Your worth as a mommy isn't based on whether you pump BM or not, but how you love and nourish your daughter--from where I sit, you are pretty fantastic at those two things.

[SassyMama]

Gwen, sorry to hear you're having a rough time. You're definitely not a bad mother! I can't really help you on the reflux and BFing/FFing - but I do hear you on the fussiness and napping.

Siera's 7 months old, she sleeps 11 hours at night but HATES taking naps during the day. I've finally come to terms with her only taking catnaps. It took awhile but I kind of figured out her schedule - she'll stay awake for two hours and then she gets fussy. Once I see her getting fussy and rubbing her face, I get a bottle ready, lie down with her in my bed and feed her. As soon as the bottle is done, her pacifier goes in and she usually konks out for 30 minutes. As much as I'd LOVE for her to take at least an hour to two hour long nap, the 30 minutes works wonders as opposed to her not napping at all. I try not to really complain about the lack of naps since she sleeps through the night. I hope you find something that works for you soon! And I can't wait to see your post-baby bod, mama!