Life is AWESOME! I'd like to say a few words

#1 October 14th, 2009, 10:18 AM

I am feeling a bit sentimental today.
For 3 years before I got pregnant with Jack, fall was the most bittersweet time of year for me. I have always loved the fall with its crisp breezes and sunny AZ skies, but it was also the season when I felt the absence of a child most keenly.

Then a little over a year ago I got my BFP. That was a great time for sure, but it was also very stressful with a lot of first trimester worrying and lot of morning sickness.

But now I have Jack, and I never thought it was possible to feel so much love and happiness. I had hoped that the empty feeling I had for so long would disappear once I had children, the feeling that gnawed at my gut and tinged the world with gray. It has more then disappeared. I feel filled with love in a way that is indescribable. When I look at Jack, I see all the beauty and goodness in this world in his sweet face (even when he is screaming at me). Now fall is just perfect. Sure my house may be messy, I am stressed about bills, my husband has an unnerving knack lately for annoying me, and Jack can be a booger sometimes, but it is all perfect. I have never been so happy or felt so blessed.

You girls have been with me for a long time, and I cannot thank you enough for that. You have given me support when I most needed it, and have helped me through some dark times I couldn't share with others just by being here and offering kind words. I am truly sorry for the times when I haven't shown some here the same. Having Jack was worth all the effort and the pain ttc can be. It was worth the hours I spent at the gym each day, even in the beginning when all I could do was 10 minutes of treadmill and 20 minutes of whining. It was worth the tests and procedures, the bitter disappointment of chemical pregnancies, and the days of crying thinking I was a failure and would never get pregnant. It was worth it all a thousand times over. I am not sure if I would have stuck it out if it wasn't for the encouragement of a lot of women on JM, so thank you.

I am thinking about taking my boy out and snapping a bunch of fall pictures around my city today. Let me know if you want me to share them here!

Boo · #2 October 14th, 2009, 10:25 AM

Thanks for sharing your kind words with us, Michelle. As a mother, I can totally relate to every one of them! It's amazing how a little being can change everything so drastically.

I would also love to see any fall pictures you take!

Em2528 · #3 October 14th, 2009, 10:32 AM

That was beautiful Michelle, its people like you who give me the strength to keep going because I see your success after all you went through, to now having your beautiful son and I can only Pray that I will one day get to experience all the joy that comes with creating life and getting to take in every beautiful day with that miracle. Enjoy him and enjoy this fall season, and PLEASE do share any pics you take. HUGS!!!!!!

#4 October 14th, 2009, 10:41 AM

Erika, I so look forward to the day you can hold your babies in your arms. Seeing you continue forward kept me going when I was TTC.

Boo · #5 October 14th, 2009, 10:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *MJ*

Erika, I so look forward to the day you can hold your babies in your arms. Seeing you continue forward kept me going when I was TTC.

complete ditto!

KCMomma · #6 October 14th, 2009, 10:48 AM

That was so beautifully written, Michelle! I can definitely relate to what you are saying too. Even when she's screaming, I deep down am filled with so much joy and love - it's crazy!!! I would love to see the fall pics!

LindsLuvsSi · #7 October 14th, 2009, 10:56 AM

Awww how sweet Michelle, made me teary eyed!

Yes of course I wanna see pics of Jack!!!! You better share!!

downunderchick · #8 October 14th, 2009, 10:57 AM

Michelle, great post, please share your piccies!!

~April04~ · #9 October 14th, 2009, 11:03 AM

aww that was so well written! It's so true as well - the support here at JM can be amazing... I would love to see any pics you take!

Celry · #10 October 14th, 2009, 11:12 AM

very well written. i would love to see pics.

fromustobaby · #11 October 14th, 2009, 12:03 PM

That was beautiful - I can't wait till next fall

LuvMyToriBug · #12 October 14th, 2009, 01:31 PM

Michelle,
I was at this TTC deal for quite sometime myself and your words are right on. I look at my little girl and I am in awe of her!! How I could even be a part of creating that sweet little girl is just absolutely amazing!! I love her even when she is screaming because she is not getting "her way". My heart just melts when I can make her giggle and I am like puddy in her hands when she just wants to snuggle with Mommy!!

I love your post Michelle, it just places every feeling that we have/will have, as mommies and soon to be mommies and.......future mommies (Erika, your day is coming), in perspective!!

Erika, as I said, I just know that your day is coming. Hang in there girl, it has definitely been a long road for you. That road will dead end soon and you will be able to turn in another direction. Many of us have and you will too!!

Lauren S · #13 October 14th, 2009, 02:00 PM

I totally agree with you, Michelle. Being a mother is amazing, and I'm so thankful for all of the support from all you girls.

Em2528 · #14 October 14th, 2009, 02:40 PM

Im sorry to jack your thread Michelle LOL...I just wanted to say thank you girls, you are all so sweet and I love yas all!

#15 October 14th, 2009, 09:26 PM

I love that you post here Erika

Elijah'sMommy · #16 October 15th, 2009, 05:00 AM

That was such a sweet post. Definitely would love to see pics

Em2528 · #17 October 15th, 2009, 05:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *MJ*

I love that you post here Erika

Thank you very much. Im so glad that you girls are so welcoming to me here. After all, I post here more than the regular ttc#1 board because most of my long time friends are here. I feel like I fit in better here and am more comfortable posting here. So thank you, that means alot to me!!