[Lo_and_Behold]

DH dropped Allie off this morning & then texted me. They informed him that a child there has H1N1 but they wouldn't say who. I asked him what they said to do & all they said was we need to keep an eye on the center & Allie for a few weeks. What the h--- is that supposed to mean? I'm trying not to overreact but we're both very upset right now.

The daycare where my boss & many of the doctors who work at my job was also hit last week. It's just insanity.

On another note, many of you saw my update on FB & I appreciate all the comments because I felt TERRIBLE & needed all the support I could get. I finally let Allie CIO last night. Lately she's been fighting naps & bedtime hardcore. I was alone last night as DH had a late meeting. I figured he'd be running in there every 5 seconds so I thought if there was any time to do it, it'd be now. Her crib is in our room & our bathroom is en suite so I put her in the crib, rubbed her back, & spoke softly to her for a minute or so & then I went to take a shower & left the door cracked. I could hear her talking which turned to fussing & then to crying. As soon as I was done, I came out & as soon as she saw me, she immediately stopped & started laughing. (it was so hard not to just laugh with her & pick her up!). I rubbed her back again & walked away. As soon as she saw I wasn't picking her up, she went back to crying. I left the room & clocked it. After about 10 mins, I went in again & rubbed her back & comforted her for a minute & left again. All in all, she cried about 45 minutes & fell asleep at 8:45. As soon as she fell asleep, I was just sick to my stomach & felt like I betrayed & abandoned her.

I snuck in to check on her & she was sniffling & hiccuping in her sleep & she was clutching this little bear right next to her face. I tried to move it away but she had a grip on it. My heart literally broke into a gazillion pieces. I never EVER thought we'd go down this route but DH & I recently agreed that when we move next week, it's time to stop cosleeping & laying with her til she falls asleep, etc etc. She'll be going to her own room. It's been just about 8 months & we haven't had more than a few good nights sleep in all that time. DH works 2 jobs & I work 1 f/t job & we're both exhausted. This was our LAST resort but everything else we tried just didn't work. I'm just heartbroken that we ended up doing this.

She woke up at 3am & I brought her into bed with us where she stayed until 8. I didn't know what to do...let her CIO again or what. I fed her & she was restless all night so I feel like everyone gets better rest when we're all in our own beds. We live in an apartment building so while I felt that 8pm wasn't too unreasonable to hear a baby crying, 3am is just beyond inconsiderate. I don't know how tonight will go but I pray that she goes down with less upsetness & sleeps longer. I'm honestly just beside myself. And it might sound funny but I was worried she'd hate me for doing this to her. It was such a relief to see her smiling at me this morning...I must have kissed & squeezed her a zillion times!

Thanks for reading my epic novel if you made it this far!!

[Hoosier Kitty]

Aawwww I'm sorry you are dealing with swine flu scare and CIO.
I don't have advice. Have you talked to your doctor about this?

Hang in there!!!

[Heatherjfitz]

That really sucks about the swine flu outbreak! I hope you all avoid it!

You know...as a new mom I didn't want to let MY babies CIO... that was until they were here.... lol. As a mommy to two it became apparent early on that I was going to have to use the CIO method. (about 3 months old) I would be INSANE trying to keep up with both of their individual routines. I had to learn to set the routine and teach them to follow it. I had a few hard weeks of CIO, but it worked so well and from 3-7 months they slept 12 hours a night and 4 hours of nap time a day!! (It was so great) I just wanted to add though that the girls were ANGELS for those months, but now that they are teething (and are obessed with playing and crawling for that matter) they are resisting naps again. I have had to use CIO again, after a while they give up and nap. They would be so grouchy and sleepy if I didn't force them to sleep. Even though they are mad about it, the always wake up in such a great mood. Almost like they are saying "Thanks mom for making me nap, that felt good!" LOL. Being a Momma is not easy. CIO is my least favorite thing. Sometimes it is so necessary though! Good luck!

[KCMomma]

How did night 2 go?

[Celry]

I'm like Heather. I think with two you're just forced to do things a little differently. I wasn't sure if I would practice CIO or not, but now I think I will. I'm used to letting the 2 of them scream during the day, so night won't be much different. I realize it's probably a lot harder when you have one who is used to being the center of attention all the time.

As far as H1N1, I hope everything goes well for you. I'm pretty sure my niece and nephew had it earlier this year. Neither was diagnosed at the time, but looking back, their pediatrician and my sister thinks that's what they have. They were 13 months and 3 years at the time. Both came through it just fine.

[courtneytcu98]

Oh Melissa, you have had so much on your plate! I'm sorry about the flu scare. We all had H1N1 and weathered it quite well. Unfortunately, there's not a lot beyond washing hands and staying away from sick people to be done to avoid it.

Times like you are describing is why being a parent is the hardest job in the world. I think it's always a guessing game on if we're making the right decisions. I think the important thing is that you are making decisions after carefully considering the option and making sure you and Manny agree. There will always be other things we could have tried or done, so it is hard not to question and ask, "what if I had done xxx?" You are a great mama and teaching Allie to sleep is just what she needs, no matter how you decide to attack it. Hugs.

[stlgirl]

I'm not a mommy yet so I don't really have any advice, but

[MommyPoky]

Aww that would be so hard. I know my sister in law uses that method with my nieces (one is 1 the other is 2), and when I babysat for her, I put the little one in bed and she started crying, I felt so bad, and then the other one goes, "Meghan's crying!" so I went and got her until grandma came home. I felt too guilty! I hope I'm tougher with my own, or I'll never sleep.

[downunderchick]

Big hugs Melissa, I hope the sleeping gets better soon. I imagine CIO must be really hard and hope to never have to resort to it but im sure at some point we will.
I hope she also doesnt catch H1N1.

[Lo_and_Behold]

Thanks girls.
Night 2 went a bit better. Manny was home which was good & bad at the same time. He couldn't deal & had to go outside for a bit. I told him he needs to be strong because if I see him breaking down, it's going to make me want to go in there & get her. Geez... and they say men are the stronger sex. Yeah right

It just broke my heart because Manny had her on our bed, laying next to her & letting her cry. I was like What are you doing?!?! I picked her up & put her in the crib & as soon as her head hit the mattress she threw an all out fit. She had big tears running down her face & looking at me like 'Mommy why are you putting me through this?' Oh my God... it took EVERYTHING I had not to pick her up. I mean, it feels like I'm going against my natural maternal instincts. Your child is in distress, you pick her up. How could you not? Let me tell you, this is not easy & I HATE it.

We let her cry for 10 minutes & clocked it. I went in & tried giving her the bottle again which she took gratefully. She fell asleep & I went back out. I was cooking dinner & had wet hands & accidentally let a cabinet door slam shut. Well that was the end of that. Scream Fest Part II. Manny went in & got her resettled. She slept nicely from about 8 until 12:30 when I came to bed. My head was literally on the pillow for no more than 5 seconds when she woke up. It took till 1 to get her back to sleep but then she slept till 5 when she got hungry. We took her into our bed, fed her & she slept well until 7:30.

So it was an easier night in some ways but it's an emotional train wreck to go through this Hopefully tonight goes well because Manny's working overnight & I'm home alone

[karenwalter]

I haven't had my baby yet, so I have no advice, but I know this must be really hard on you. Just wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts.

[Lauren S]

Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you. Night/sleep issues are so hard.

[NortheastWifey]

I did see you FB update, but I just thought I'd write here, too. I hope things are going okay. I've been thinking of you when I've been up in the wee hours. I'm not to the point of trying CIO yet and I hope I don't have to, but I totally feel for you. And on a side note, I would have been super annoyed about the H1N1 thing, too. KUP!