[ChristinaR]

Hi ladies, I haven't been on since Brevan was born. I'm seriously feeling overwhelmed with everything. How did you cope at first with all the lack of sleep. I feel like I have no time to do anything. DH has been handling most of the evening feedings while I recoop from the c-section but once he goes back to work in a few weeks I'll have to handle most if not all because he needs his rest for work. How often did your LO wake up at night and how many oz did you feed them? I'm trying my hardest to figure out a way to get him in some sort of routine but not sure where to start.

[Celry]

Young babies are hard to get on a routine. Every time we thought the girls might be in one, they changed things on us. It's completely normal to feel over whelmed. I used to sleep in 20 minute increments. I could easily be up 1.5 to 2 hours at a time. I was running on virtually no sleep and felt like I was in survival mode. People would ask abut the girls' personalities and i couldn't answer. I couldn't remember anything.

When they were little, they did not eat much at a feeding, I can't remember though. We were all business at night. I never turned on a light unless i had to. I didn't look at the girls and wouldn't smile at them. I knwo it sounds harsh, but we figured out the difference between day and night pretty quickly that way. Even now they get up way too often at night, but they dont' stay up. They know no one is going to give them attention if they do.

Recovering from the csection made things so much harder. I couldn't get out of the hosue on my own. I had a hard enough time getting in and out of bed at first. Lifting a car seat was not an option. I did start putting the car seats into the car and then loading the girls. I'd meet friends out for lunch and have them unload the girls. I was desperate to get out and that helped so much! If you can, find a moms group around you. I still go to one every Thursday at my local hospital. It was completely over whelming to go at first with two infants, but it was so worth it. We met a lot of people who were going through the same thing. It was nice to just chat even though it was all about babies.

I hope you start feeling better soon.

[polarbearmama]

I so vividly remembering posting something to this affect Christina when Mari was under a month old...I have sooooo been there and it can be so overwhelming!

People can tell you about sleep deprivation, but until you actually experience it...it's so hard to describe, plus add the recovery from surgery on top of that and I felt like I was losing my mind the first several weeks!

Mari had her days and nights mixed up until about 5-6 weeks old, so we never really got into a routine until then. I felt like the first few weeks I just trying to survive really...I don't know how much Mari really eats since I've been nursing, but she used to wake up several times a night to eat early on...now it's down to one feeding in the middle of the night...

Take it from a recently BTDT mommy, things do get increasingly better! Thinking about you!!

[Oreobaby]

I have not been through this yet..as I am only 15 weeks...my sister in law did tell me though, (she now has an almost 6 month old) that the first month is the hardest, and if you can survive through that you can survive through anything. I know that may not be much of a help, but feel reassured that it doesn't last forever.

[Jodi0804]

I hear you girl. The lack of sleep is hard. I have finally got myself into the habit of sleeping when the baby does. For the first week and a half I couldn't and it finally caught up with me. I can only imagine the extra stress for you with your recovery. Luckily my lo does fairly well with eating at night and going back to sleep. I also don't really talk to the baby at night and just have a night light on. I also have made a few trips to the grocery store right after I BF the baby and that made a huge difference in how I felt, just to get out of the house. It also gave DH some one on one alone time with him. I dont know how soon you are allowed to drive, but I went out about 5 days PP and asked a friend to drive me. Now I am driving and it seriously does wonders for me. Its only 30 mins to an hour since we haven't introduced a bottle with breast milk yet, but still. Hang in there and remember this is the hardest time.

[courtneytcu98]

I agree with all the previous posts that the first 8 weeks are so incredibly tough. Lack of sleep does wacky things to your mind and most definitely your emotions. I can't tell you enough that getting out of the house, even if it's just to a friend's or your parents will do WONDERS. It's all about survival because there just isn't much of a schedule for babies that little. We also did not talk when up during the night. . . but I sometimes had the tv on with no lights on because that's the only way I wouldn't fall asleep while nursing. Sigh. Sleep when your LO sleeps and if people offer to help--let them. Don't worry about your house, your clothes or anything of the sort. Hang in there. All of us that have BTDT soooo understand your stress and are here anytime you need to vent!

[Lyz]

I cant really add anything new about the sleep deprivation but it will get better! To answer about feeding, the first 2 weeks, Bella ate 2oz every 3 hours. Then she went up .5oz every few weeks. She's 2 months and eats 4oz every 3 hours. Sometimes she would eat every 2 hours and then back to 3. Every baby is different so try to watch her cues for hunger. Bella wouldn't really cry she would make a little whimper and really want her binky.

I read that its best to start a routine at 5-6 weeks. Before that, its all about larning your baby's cues and bonding.

I felt that after the 3rd week I was able to function better with the sleep I got. My body adjusted to it.

[SassyMama]

For the first few weeks, I just followed Siera's lead. She was up every three hours and drank only 1-1.5 oz (she was a preemie). Honestly, for the first month I didn't worry about cleaning, cooking or any of that stuff. I worked around her schedule and slept when she slept. I think after about a week or two I just got used to being sleep deprived to the point where it wasn't really that bad for me.

I hope you find something that works for you

[stlgirl]

I'm not BTDT so all I can do is offer

[Celry]

I think not concentrating on cleaning or cooking is great advice! If someone asks to come visit, do not be shy about asking them to bring a meal or do something for you. I thought it was funny to do that, but once you've had a baby it doesn't sound as strange. I did ask and people were more than willing to help, especially people who already have children.

If possible, try to have DH make a few meals on the weekends that you can eat during the week too.

[ChristinaR]

Thanks everyone for the really great advice. I guess I never really thought it was going to be this hard. I think if I had my family closer to me I would feel a little better. They are about an hour and a half away so right now I can't really hop in the car for a visit. Once I'm ok to drive though I plan on trying to get out of the house. I think that will help alot. You guys are the best

[Soape]

I'm soooo sorry that the sleep deprivation is so overwhelming. I hope that he will work himself into a routine soon.

[Lo_and_Behold]

(((hugs)))) My heart goes out to you because I can vaguely recall those early days (sleep deprivation does funny things to your memory! ). The first month is very difficult and especially when you add a recovery from surgery into the mix. I slept with Allie on my chest for the first 3 months of her life because it was just easier than rolling myself out of bed & getting up 50 times a night. I believe she ate 2oz every 2-3 hours for a long time...a couple of months & then went up to 3 & finally 4. She was doing 4oz every 2 hours for the longest time. It's only recently that she'll eat 6-8oz & usually that's only before bedtime & the 2 times she wakes for bottles in the night. During the day she still only eats 4oz but that's a little more unusual.
I know everyone says it & you feel like there's no end in sight but I promise it gets better each week & each month. By 3 months he should start sleeping much better if not, through the night. You'll know his cues much better & if he does get colicky, that will be well over by then also. All you can do is take it day by day & definitely get out as much as possible. When Allie was a week or two old, I begged my dh to drive us to Target because I was losing my mind. Not being able to drive for 6 weeks is hard, but if you have friends/family nearby hopefully they can come to your rescue. And not that I listened to this advice (I still don't & stress myself out on a daily basis), just focus on taking care of you & the baby. If your dh or anyone else can help with the housework that will be HUGE for you. I know I was always stressing that things weren't clean enough & to this day I still do housework when Allie naps instead of resting myself. Hang in there, hun!

[KCMomma]

Oh hun, I totally understand every last bit of your frustration!!! Hang in there, coming from a mom who's baby suffered from colic and reflux and was just plain fussy, IT DOES GET BETTER!!! I never really believed people when they said that because it seemed as though there was no end in sight, but I promise you it will end! Sleep will get better. And like the others have said, get out of the house when you can. Even if it's a walk outside to the mailbox or around the block (not sure what the weather's like where you are though) or even through a drive through to get some food. THe sunlight helps! Recovering from the section is super tough, but it gets better day by day!! One piece of advice I can offier, is if he is gaining weight the way the docs want ask if it's ok to NOT wake him for feedings and let him go as long as possible then follow what the others have said about it being all business at night no fun time! I think that helps them understand the diff between day and night. Good luck hun, I totally understand! Many many hugs your way!! We are always here to vent to. Sometimes just writing everything down on this forum helps you feel better!

[Etph007]

I just want to say that we're only 2 months in and it gets easier/better every day. Partly because you start to figure things out/get a routine and partly because the LO starts to sleep longer stretches. Hang in there. I know those first few weeks I thought it would NEVER get better and wonder what I'd gotten myself into! It will get better! Just keep going through the motions and you will feel better soon- I promise!

The first 3 weeks are really tough. My advice - let yourself cry it out if you have to, b/c it will be hard and you just can't get baby onto a routine (usually) that early. It is painful to adjust to! Jack woke to eat every 2-3 hours 24/7. It is rough! Then the first 6-8 weeks are a challenge too. After month 3 though, things really change a ton! But I think you will feel much better after a couple more weeks. You will adjust. I think we all spent those first few weeks in tears I know I did!