[Sam914]

My shower was scheduled for Feb 13th, my mom had already ordered invites but not mailed them yet. I'll be honest in that dh and i cannot afford to buy all of the things we need for our little guy especially now with all the added expenses of going back and forth the hospital and such so we really need the shower. The problem is, my shower was going to be in Ohio 5 hours away from where i live... dh and i arent comfortable leaving town with baby still in the hospital obviously. So now my mom is trying to figure out what to do... so far the idea is to just have the shower as planned but not go and just be there via webcam or something but my mom is nervous that this might be percieved as rude. I am hoping that in this unqiue, unexpected situation my famiy and friends would understand and still come and "honor" him anyway but i dont want to seem gift grabby. I know the other option is a meet the baby party but i am the type of person that REALLY REALLY likes to have everything done way in advance so i dont know if i would be comfortable waiting until he was home and able to travel to have a swing, bouncer etc... that doesnt exactly make sense to me so idk.
Any thoughts appreciated!

[Celry]

Honestly I think either would be okay. I had a shower before and after the girls were born. I can't stand not having things done early and it was so hard not to go buy things I thought we might need until after the second shower. It worked out though and it was a lot of fun to have everyone meet my girls. Our situation was very different though as I didn't have a baby in NICU. I think the virtual idea is a great option so you don't have to leave Michael for too long.

[*Mommy2Camden*]

I don't see ANYTHING wrong with having a shower in "honor" of, and you guys not being present. I'm sure people would be more than happy to help out anyway they can, and completely understand you not being there.

[Oreobaby]

I don't see what's wrong with either of those options...

I am sure your family and friends would understand that being 5 hrs away from baby is just not an option that this point...how is micheal doing btw??

I hope it works out...

[amazing_love]

I would assume your family and friends would understand. I think if it were me i'd want to reschedule it for a later date but that's just me.

I hope Michael is doing well!!

[Sam914]

Well okay right now we're talking about changing it to March... that way its still before he might come home but i might be okay with leaving him by that point. Guess we'll see

Anywho, he's doing good today. Back on his Cpap because there was no point in stressing him out being on a nasal canular right now. His brain ultrasounds have both been good and his echocardiogram and gasses are are what is to be expected. I think dh told me this morning he's gained two ounces At this point i suppose he's just progressing as he should (knock on wood) he'll just continue this way for the next three months. O! And most exciting he opened his eye yesterday! ... hopefully the other one will open soon otherwise i'm going to have to start calling him my little pirate.

[Hoosier Kitty]

Hmm that's a tough question.... I would wait til Michael gets discharged and get everything settled down and then have the shower. Either way.. i hope everything works out!

[~* Liss *~]

I think under the circumstances people would understand u not being there Sam... I know I would.

Happy to hear Mikey is doing well!

[CandaceDianne]

Aww so glad your little man is making progress!!!
I think either way is fine, dont try to cater to everyone else (while I understand the gifts are needed/wanted...so if no one shows up, then that would suck). I would definitly not travel 5 hours out of state to meet with family when my baby is in the hospital. Another option, is to maybe meet half way or a little further away than where you are, but closer to them? I dont know how comfortable you would be with that, though?

[Shaylyn]

Boy that's a tough one. My experience with my sisters baby shower was that, the people who were the closest, (close family and friends) gave her the most needed items, stroller, crib, swings, etc. The people who weren't gave her some clothes etc. I would think that your close family and friends would definitely understand and may be okay with just sending you the gifts, and the other people might be able to just send you gift cards. Maybe your mom could send out a letter explaining whats going on, and that you didn't feel comfortable leaving the baby to be there. And if they want they can mail you gift cards, or drop gifts off at her home (if it's close to the people invited)

[Etph007]

I'm so glad your little guy is doing well. I can't imagine what you all have been going through. Big hugs! I totally understand about wanting everything done early and I think that your family and friends should and would understand. I say do whatever feels best for you. Considering the circumstances, I feel sure they would be willing to honor him even in your absence.

[MommyPoky]

I'm sure the important people will make accommodations for whatever you decide It'd be fun to wait until he's out of the hospital, so everyone could meet him, but I guess that depends on how long he's in there.

[amazing_love]

I'm so glad to hear he's doing well! That's very exciting that he opened his eye

[Cheryl_W]

I'm wondering why it isn't possible to have the shower at your house? I know its unconventional a bit, but while you're visiting Michael, your mom sets up and the guests arrive - then you arrive and act surprised and enjoy your shower, knowing that your baby is close by if he needs you.

That's what I would do. Glad to hear he's making progress!

[Sam914]

Cheryl i dont live anywhere near anyone that would come? My family is in Ohio and i live in WV...

[Oreobaby]

I am so glad to hear that he is doing well...I continue to keep him in my thoughts and prayers..and strength for you and DH as I'm sure being away from your baby is not easy!!

[karenwalter]

I think March sounds like a great idea. That way he gets a little bigger and more stable before you have to leave him to go to the shower. I think everyone will understand that you have a unique situation and people should be pretty accomidating.

Glad to hear he is doing well and making progress as expected.

[fromustobaby]

I think whatever you decide will be fine with them...
They know what you've been through and I cant imagine them not being understanding of that...
You may want to do both - given the unique circumstances...

[SassyMama]

Originally Posted by *BabyHopes16*

I don't see ANYTHING wrong with having a shower in "honor" of, and you guys not being present. I'm sure people would be more than happy to help out anyway they can, and completely understand you not being there.

My shower was planned for March 7 (2009) and Siera decided to come the week before. I still attended but our shower was held maybe 20 minutes away from the hospital. I don't think it's rude at all for you not to attend your own shower - I know women who've had the same thing happen to them. It would be really cool for you to attend via webcam or something. I'm sure everyone will understand.

[pthree]

I would think that people would be extremely understanding of the circumstances and willing to accommodate you. If that means just giving your mom the gifts and she can drive them to you or something along those lines, I find that completely acceptable. If my friend went into labor prematurely I would be absolutely willing to send my gift her way without worrying about her coming to a shower. I'm sure people realize you've got a lot going on and can't drop everything and drive 5 hours one way!!