BTDT moms - was it a surprise?

Cheryl_W · #1 January 21st, 2010, 02:29 PM

You all know what a control freak I am, but I'm starting to think that maybe I want the gender to be a surprise.

If we see it on a regular u/s, then thats OK too - but if we don't, I don't know if I want to go to all the trouble and expense of a 3D u/s to find out.

Was your LO a surprise? Did you like having it a surprise, or do you wish you had known? I thought I wanted to know this whole time, now I'm not so sure... LOL

xanada101 · #2 January 21st, 2010, 03:00 PM

Kerrigan was a surprise. Well sorta... I knew she was a girl even before I took my HPT. It was VERY hard not to find out, but it was kinda nice for several reasons.
1. It is one of the FEW happy surprises left in life.
2. It is a special moment only you and your husband share
3. You get TONS of clothes and hardly ANY of the other stuff you need at showers when you DO know the sex . (You can always return any gender neutral outfits you DO get and don't like.)

Cheryl_W · #3 January 21st, 2010, 03:09 PM

I'm seriously leaning towards not finding out and letting DH catch the baby and tell me - what a moment that would be for him!

Is it rude of me to request no pink, blue, yellow or green? I hate yellow and green LOL so I'm hoping for tan, white, cream, beige, brown, etc. if we DO get any clothes

And I know what you mean about clothes at the shower - although I've noticed its worse with girls than boys LOL

My only apprehension, and I hope nobody judges me for this, is that I really want a girl. I know I'll be happy with either, but I really want a girl and I don't want to feel any disappointment at the birth if it ends up being a boy, KWIM?

Oreobaby · #4 January 21st, 2010, 04:41 PM

I have been flip flopping on it as well, even since DH agreed to now again find out the gender...

I Just want to tell everyone the name cause that's exciting.

I think we are going to do that, find out at the regular ultrasound if we can, and if not, it's a surprise!!!

either way, I am comfortable with my decision!! I hope you can be comfortable with yours.

You can definitely request colors, but know that not matter what you request, people are still going to buy things that you don't want.

It's just the way that it is.

SassyMama · #5 January 21st, 2010, 04:45 PM

I thought there was no way in the world that I'd be able to go 9 months without knowing if Siera was a girl or boy. So I found out as soon as I could. Now I want number 2 to be a surprise.

daneeleigh · #6 January 21st, 2010, 04:46 PM

I want it to be a surprise because I feel that at the end of a long labor it gives me something to look forward to lol. Other than holding my baby of course.

MommaLee · #7 January 21st, 2010, 04:53 PM

I have to say that after we found out yesterday, it kind of took the anticipation out of the pregnancy. We almost wish that we could have waited another day to find out, but for me, I'm such a planner, that I NEEDED to know so I can get things ready. DH wanted to know also....we *hate* surprises!

Although there might be a little disappointment if it's a boy, I think you'll change your mind once it finally sinks in. I was concerned about the girl, but when I see other members siggies and then saw Megan's pics of Hunter....I thought to myself, having a baby girl is going to be wonderful.

lttle_one · #8 January 21st, 2010, 06:24 PM

I think it's so cool to wait! I'm way too much of a planner to not find out, but if #2 is a boy, then I'll have #3 be a surprise because I'll have enough for either gender.

I really wanted a girl and was also convinced Cherie was a girl (obviously I was right

) so much so that I spent the entire morning of my anatomy scan preparing myself to hear that she was a boy and then couldn't stop crying when I found out she really was a girl! I think I would have had a hard time if I waited and ended up having a boy. I know it sounds bad, but I really just felt like I was supposed to have a girl, so I totally know what you mean.

Cheryl_W · #9 January 21st, 2010, 06:56 PM

Well DH and I talked it over... We've decided to wait. In case you're curious, here is our reasoning...

1. Its $200+ and a trip out to Langley for a 3D u/s to find out here. They refuse to tell you at the doc. An expense we don't really need...

2. We have decided to get the nursery done ASAP, before the gender u/s would even be done, so it has to be gender neutral anyway. I'm one of those "I have to be prepared WAY ahead of time" kind of people

3. We already have a whole load of hand-me-down clothes that are gender neutral, and for boys. One of our friends has a little girl, no one else she knows does, so she has already told us that we get ALL of the hand me down clothes if its a girl. Plus I have cute outfits from when I was little. Clothes are not at all an issue here - I'm very much a pink-or-blue person as well, but I know that those 0-3 month clothes can be added to with pink or blue, and they'll only be in them for - well, 0-3 months. We can add later.

4. DH and I have naming issues... We've chosen a few names, but we were both apprehensive about choosing one for sure. We feel like our LO might be born, and the name we chose just won't feel right. Not finding out the gender will keep us from nailing down a name (and our families from using it before baby arrives) so that we can make that change if we see fit.

5. I have accepted that it very well may be a boy. There are LOTS of boys in our family - it would be neat for my nephew to have a little boy close to his age to play with at family functions. I'm still hoping girl, and feeling girl, but I won't be disappointed if its a boy.

6. Yes, it is a surprise if you find out at the u/s - but even just imagining hearing it at the birth feels so much more amazing to me. Its like, these 9 months I'm growing a little person - I get to meet them at the end, find out who they are and who they will be. Boy/girl just seems like part of that to me.

7. We've agreed that given how mommy is, even if we have a girl, she probably won't be overly girly - and our boy won't be overly "boy-ish" either. They'll probably just be who they are, like mom and dad, and not worry about gender stereotypes. If my little boy likes pink, or my little girl wants to play with tonka trucks, all the power to them! I don't want them to feel trapped in one thing or another because of the decor of their childhood bedroom, and going gender neutral helps us do that.

8. I. HATE. THEMES. I hate animals, cars, planes, fish, princesses, Disney characters, trees... You name it, if there is a baby theme of it, I do NOT want it in my child's room. Most themes are gender specific - yet another thing we get to avoid by designing the nursery in a gender neutral way, then adding gender specific accessories later

So yeah... There are some reasons we would have found out, for nursery and clothes and bonding (while I won't be doing it, I definitely understand it!) and the like - but we've chosen to wait. Its just what feels right for us, even though I NEVER imagined I'd say that LOL!

Plus it will be fun to drive everyone nuts - when they ask "What are you having?" I can say "its a surprise". Impatient looks everywhere! LOL Thats going to be so much fun!!!!

Thanks for all the advice girls, seeing both sides really helped

Oh - and add to that the 15% margin of error on gender u/s's, we'd rather buy gender neutral and add later than buy pink and need blue

LOL

Oreobaby · #10 January 21st, 2010, 07:42 PM

I'm glad you guys have made a decision that you are both comfortable with!!

MarinaAndCharlie'sMommy · #11 January 22nd, 2010, 07:59 AM

Congrats on making a decision. I wanted ours to be a surprise before we even got pg, LOL! I can't wait for DH to catch the baby and announce if it's a boy or girl. I get so emotional just thinking about it! We were going to do gender neutral nursery and strollers, etc anyway just so we can use the stuff for all the other kiddos. Anyway, time really goes by fast and the wait really isn't that bad. It's so fun having people guess and hearing their reasons why they think boy or girl.

amazing_love · #12 January 22nd, 2010, 08:04 AM

I'm glad you came to a decision

We always wanted to find out so we could plan and because i'd get too anxious to wait! Although there is always that doubt in my mind like "what if the u/s was wrong" ya know?

Cheryl_W · #13 January 22nd, 2010, 10:40 AM

I totally know Krista! LOL

And Casey, thats yet another reason we decided to go gender neutral everything - what if #1 is a girl, and #2 is a boy, and we buy pink everything the first time around? LAME that we have to rebuy everything and redo the nursery for baby #2!

daneeleigh · #14 January 22nd, 2010, 02:34 PM

Cheryl, you took the words right out of my mouth on why I want to have a surprise when I'm pregnant! I always feel so odd for saying that I want to have a surprise baby, everyone thinks I'm crazy.

O and I hate themed rooms too! Ugh, we're working on my cousin's nursery right now and it's driving me insane having to look at themed stuff. I told her it's her nursery and she can do what she wants with it but I refuse to buy one winnie the pooh item to go in it lol. I have no problem with people doing it in their nurseries I just feel it can't grow with the child.