Hi everyone - update 1/26

stlgirl · #1 January 24th, 2010, 05:27 PM

update 1/26 -
thank you all for your kind words and advice. We have been swaddling her and it has made a huge difference. Being alone with Reese after DH went back to work ended up being really nice. We had a nice quiet day with no visitors and no pressure. She fed when she needed and rested when she needed and hung out and looked around when she needed. She almost never cried because I was there to respond to her cues before she ever got upset. It was wonderful. She has also continued to sleep well, in 2-3 hr blocks, so I continue to wake up feeling fairly well rested, which is all I can ask for at this point. We had our 1 week checkup with the Ped and she gained a whopping 10 oz!!! So I feel really good about all the time I have spent trying to make BFing work. It is tiring but is obviously doing the trick and helping my baby girl to grow, so totally worth it. All in all I am feeling much better and gaining confidence every single day. Am looking forward to seeing what the next days and weeks hold.

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Heya ladies! This is the first time I've been on JM since right after I gave birth, so sorry if I have missed major news, both good and bad. To all who have had your babies and I missed it, and to the new BFPs, congrats! And if anyone has had sick kiddos or had a loss, please know that my thoughts are with you. I feel very out of touch and wish I had time to read through all the threads to catch up, but don't feel like I can, at least not yet, so am giving you all an update then getting back to the job of parenting, which is about all I feel like I have energy for at the moment.

Anyway, it has been a steep learning curve but we're doing well. The first night was sooooo hard...baby Reese just would NOT stop crying and it took us until nearly 4am to discover that she liked the sound of the hairdryer. At least that calmed her, but we couldn't just stand there all night holding the hairdryer, so my DH had a brilliant idea - he found a free iPhone application that produces several different kinds of white noise, so we used that turned up really loud in order to get her to stay calm. Even so, she still wasn't actually sleeping, just not screaming. I eventually gave up trying to get her to stay in her crib or co-sleeper and brought her into bed with me. I felt so guilty and was no nervous about smothering her or overheating her, but at that point I was completely exhausted and since the ONLY thing that seemed to get her calm enough to stay asleep was being pressed against me, I felt like I had no other choice. So that night was no fun. The next night was a *little* better - she slept in 30-45 min blocks in the co-sleeper then would wake up and need a lot of comfort nursing and rocking to calm down. Eventually I gave in and brought her to bed again because I was too exhausted to keep up. But the THIRD night she finally slept in 2 hour blocks between feedings, and ever since then she's slept between 2-4 hours at a time during the night time, and I finally feel like I've gotten my sanity back. I hate to sound like I am complaining, because I love her to death and am so happy to be a mommy, I am just really tired and also really nervous about my DH returning to work on Monday morning, and having to do everything for her during the day all by myself. We've also had a constant stream of visitors, mostly family but also some friends too, and that has been nice but also exhausting. I know everyone is excited, and I enjoy showing her off and getting all the compliments about how beautiful she is, but I am beginning to feel like all I do is feed and calm her then as soon as she is happy and sleeping, I pass her off to other people. And I feel pressured to keep her happy so that the people who come to see her can get 'quality' time, and also so I don't feel judged for not being able to calm my child on demand for company. I know I'm putting way too much pressure on myself but I can't help it, it's just how I feel.

In the quiet moments though, when our guests have gone home and she is calm and snuggly with just me and DH, I do feel a lot of joy, and I have hope that after the excitement of this new baby wears off a bit and we have more time to ourselves, we'll be able to settle into a comfortable routine and I'll get to really enjoy my little girl in a way I haven't gotten to yet.

Here are some professional photos that were taken when she was two days old (there is a service that goes from room to room in the hospital):

I hope that in the coming weeks I'll start to get a handle on balancing all my new responsibilities and can get more active here again. Until that point, take care everyone! I miss you!

Oreobaby · #2 January 24th, 2010, 05:33 PM

So happy to see a post from you Rachel. I'm sorry the first days were so tough for you, but it sounds like you are doing an AMAZING job!!! You are an AMAZING mom...you need to trust that. It sounds like you are getting Reese into a routine which is good, and you are probably right at the fact that it will become easier once all the company dies down. I hope things go well tomorrow with DH back at work. I know that you can do it!!

denalibear · #3 January 24th, 2010, 05:45 PM

Oh Rachel....Reese is so beautiful!! Congrats Momma!!

Im glad you got to check in and I agree with Marci once things have settled down y'all will get into a routine. Im just so happy for you!!!

courtneytcu98 · #4 January 24th, 2010, 06:04 PM

Rachel, I have to tell you that I could have written your post almost word-for-word. The first few weeks are HARD, especially with hormones going crazy and lack of sleep messing with your head. I feel for you. We will be here when you are ready to come back. . . it took me a good 6-8 weeks.

BTW, if you can rent the Happiest Baby on the Block video, I think it will help Reese sleep!

jensma · #5 January 24th, 2010, 06:12 PM

Congrats Rachel! She is beautiful and I'm glad you're getting settled!!

lttle_one · #6 January 24th, 2010, 07:01 PM

Hey, I've been wondering about you! I totally understand not having time to do anything at first. And I relate so much about feeling like you only get to settle her and that you need to keep her calm for company, I still struggle with that sometimes. Hang in there, it sounds like you're doing well in learning about your baby and you'll fall into a routine before you know it.

I ditto Courtney's suggestion of The Happiest Baby On the Block, it may really help you out. Do you swaddle? Swaddling and doing it well (the video/book will explain) made a huge difference in Cherie's sleeping.

We'll be here when things get a little easier and you're ready to come back. Don't feel like you're complaining, we've been there and we understand!

Reese is such a cutie!

KCMomma · #7 January 24th, 2010, 07:30 PM

Oh my goodness, Rachel. I totally could have written your post at the beginning! I totally understand every thing you were/are feeling. It's sooo tough and I just hope and pray with everything in me that she does not have colic. If she does, I will be here for you! As for the hairdryer thing, great idea! We also tried the bathroom exhaust fan - I've said this before, but seriously, Paige slept in her car seat in front of the bathroom with the fan on for the first 2 months of her life...it worked and we got sleep!!! Hang in there sweetie...much calmer and fun times are ahead, I promise!!! Remember you are a wonderful mother!!!

fromustobaby · #8 January 24th, 2010, 07:37 PM

AWW, Rachel, first - it is so great to here from you...
I cant imagine what you are going through (quite yet

)...so sorry that its been so stressful, I'm already getting nervous as more and more people say how they are going to come down to visit right when mine is born...
But, I know for sure that you guys will work it out, and have that little baby girl on your schedule soon...sounds like you are already being very resourceful!!

And, she is so beautiful, I love those pictures...cant wait for more - when she is ready to give you time to think/sleep/function

SassyMama · #9 January 25th, 2010, 12:25 AM

Sorry you had a rough first couple of days. I hope it only gets better from there!

Sakeenco · #10 January 25th, 2010, 01:14 AM

sorry u had a rough time at first hopefully things will calm down for u soon. Glad u were able to give us an update.

CandaceDianne · #11 January 25th, 2010, 05:43 AM

I know its not funny, but its kind of humorous your little girl liked the sound of the hair dryer!

Have you tried a box fan? My SIL uses one with my niece and she loves it. Just a suggestion.
Sorry you had a rough few nights, but I am glad to hear its getting better. Also, dont be afraid to ask visitors to leave when you're ready to rest when baby is resting. I can imagine its difficult, but sometimes you need to be 'selfish'.

Your baby girl is so beautiful and I cant wait for MORE pics!

Jodi0804 · #12 January 25th, 2010, 05:48 AM

Hang in there Rachel, its definitely rough and no one can prepare you for it. I know exactly howyou feel; tired and overwhelemed but as the weeks go on you slowly learn what works and what doesn't!

Lyz · #13 January 25th, 2010, 06:33 AM

hey!! I've been thinking about you and glad you checked in!

The first few weeks are a BLUR! I'm sorry she was Cranky McCrankster the first few nights but as she gets used to being on the outside, it WILL get better. I remember people telling me that and I would think "yeah, easy for you to say...you're not in it right now!" I know someone else mentioned this but if aren't swaddling her, try that. It really made a difference with Bella and she sleeps so much better when her hands are under control

Visitors are ROUGH..it's nice to have them but its hard when you are so exhausted and just want to rest. I had to put a time limit down (no one past 6pm because people wanted to come over at 8pm and I would be in tears from the exhaustion).

Dh going back to work is rough (I cried the day before haha) but then it wasn't so bad as Bella and i could work on a nice routine together.

Reese is ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE and I love her pics!! i'm here if you ever want to talk/vent or maybe some suggestions (I welcomed them from new mommies). HUGS!

Etph007 · #14 January 25th, 2010, 06:44 AM

ditto ditto ditto to Lyz!

It ONLY gets better. I PROMISE!! The first month or so is the hardest. You feel like you're just going through the motions but it totally gets better! You can do it! Congrats again! She's SO stinkin' cuteeee!!

MommaLee · #15 January 25th, 2010, 07:07 AM

She's adorable! Congrats!!!

Soape · #16 January 25th, 2010, 07:42 AM

She is absolutely adorable!!! I hope that you can settle in soon. I'm a little nervous about those first days too. Im sooooo glad that she is sleeping in 2-4 hours segments.