[amazing_love]

DH has always said he wants to be at my baby shower. Even before we were TTC he had always said he felt he should be there because it's his baby too. We're not really sure how to go about it. If we say in the shower invitations that guys are welcome, i'm not convinced any would come anyhow. I don't know if it would be weird to have DH be the only guy there. I feel like it would be fine but am not sure how everyone else would think. I know it's not "traditional" and feel like some people might judge it for that reason. But my opinion is why shouldn't the guy go if he wants to? I understand a lot of guys don't care to go but i don't think my DH should miss out just because of what's considered normal.

Another thing to consider is i still would want it to be traditional in other ways, like games and such. So if we did invite other guys to come and they actually DID come i'd be nervous it wouldn't really feel like a baby shower to me, ya know? Now Jimmy is telling me maybe he should just not go to make it easier. He acts like he'd be okay with this but i still feel like i want him there and like he should go if he wants to. The shower will be at my church and since everyone who attends the church will be invited, there will be older people there who are used to things being a certain way. I want everyone at the party to be comfortable but am not sure how to go about this.

I guess i'm wondering how this would be perceived to everyone else? If you went to a baby shower where the father-to-be was there, would you think it was odd or would you feel awkard at all? Would it make a difference whether he was the only guy there or not? Be honest please. I just don't know what is the best option so i need honest opinions!

Thanks

[Celry]

I've been to plenty of couples showers. I think it's a great idea. DH adn I did not have a couples shower, but most of the guys went out to a German bar here and had their own mini party during one of my showers. I didn't have games at my shower, but think they had most fun doing that than they would have at the shower.

[Soape]

DH is coming to ours! I think that if you are happy that he's there and he's happy to be there that everyone else will get over it. I've been to the couples shower and I think it's a great idea. Also I've been to ones where just the father-to-be shows up with all the girls and that goes great too.

[CandaceDianne]

David is coming to ours. Now, we didnt invite guys though, but he doesn't care about stuff like that.
On the May or June DDC, someone's DH is having a BBQ for all his friends and male family members. They have to bring a pack of diapers and wipes though. DH and I are considering this as well, just without the alcohol (unless they want to bring their own).

[Jodi0804]

We had a couples shower and it was wonderful! I'm not a big fan of being the center of attention so it was nice to have some attention on DH as well. It was a great way for us to see everyone since we live away from our families. We did 2 or 3 games and anyone who wanted to participate could. It was very laid back and I wouldn't change what we did one bit! Just know that if you do a couples shower you sometimes get double the people, I had over 60 people at mine.

Do what you want and what you are comfortable with!

[Sam914]

I was going to make dh come to mine... but he didnt want too because "guys dont usually do that". We hadnt decided for sure yet, but a the very least he was going to show up at the end to help me pack up all the gifts and stuff.

But, i think its also becoming more traditional for the dad to come. At my cousins shower her husband was there for the whole thing...

[amazing_love]

So at a "couples shower" do you invite other guys as well then?

[Cheryl_W]

At my sister's shower, guys were invited - only her DBF and my DH showed up, but guys were invited. DH is coming to ours, too - but because of the male turnout at the last shower, I probably won't make it a couples thing LOL

I do, however, LOVE the BBQ idea! And I think DH will, too! We were planning on doing a diaper shower after baby was here, as kind of a meet the baby thing - but then its kind of like we're charging admission to see our kid LOL - the guys BBQ thing sounds like a perfect way to involve our male friends and family, AND score some diapers! I love it!

[Soape]

yes you do. You invite the couples!! Its alot of fun to get the guys involved in games like :what did DH want to name the baby at first! and see what responses you get.

[CandaceDianne]

Originally Posted by longing4baby

So at a "couples shower" do you invite other guys as well then?

That's been my understanding, yes.

[LucyAnna]

even though most of the showers i have been too, have been very female oriented, I think it would be neat to have to the dad to be there. however maybe it could be like the last hour of the shower (you can always use him to help load up all the gifts and goodies) that way people can congratulate him as well, but he doesn't have to sit through all the games. OR, do like a couples baby shower or even a daddy shower...

[Oreobaby]

I have been to couples baby showers...here we call them jack and jill showers. some people do the same for bridal showers, and just call them jack and jill showers...(indicates guys are welcome) I think it is a great idea, and honestly, wish DH would come to ours...but considering he HATES being center of attention, (even more than I do with his anxiety) ours will end up being just a jill shower.

I think if you want to invite both, that's cool, but if Jimmy just wants to be there, I think that's fine too, after all, it is his baby too, and if he wants to be, then he should be able to be.

The other thing you need to think of for throwing a jack and jill shower is the extra costs that would be involved to essentially have twice the amount of people. I'm not sure who is throwing your shower, or what they have for expenses, but that is something you may want to discuss with the person planning it.

[MommaLee]

One shower that I was invited to.....I received an email about a week before the shower saying that husbands were welcome because her dh would be there and didn't want to be the only testerone in the house. Now I didn't go so I don't know how it turned out.....but really, I don't think it's awkward at all for the father to be there.

[Hoosier Kitty]

Yeah why not.. it's his baby too! I must admit, my family's tradition is female only but I've seen others do couple shower. Go for it.

[ca_dawson]

I've seen many dads at showers and didn't consider it weird at all. Now on most of them the dad hung around the background for most of the shower except for present opening time, but I think that was just due to their comfort level. They didn't want to be involved in the games and such. I've also been to showers where guys are invited too, but the guys almost never attend. Most guys I know consider attending a shower of any sort some sort of painful slow death! DH will most likely be at mine simply because my sister is hosting it and she lives in Alabama so it will be at my house. He was technically at my bridal shower too because it was at my house, but he hung out in the other room the whole time and just popped out for food! I don't think its weird or will make people uncomfortable at all. I think its becoming the norm to at least see dad in the background somewhere!

[Etph007]

I think it's totally fine! I wish DH would have come to mine but he wasn't really interested! But I think it's great. Do what feels right for you... people won't care as much as you may think.

[SassyMama]

I only had women at my baby shower but DH and my father hung around to "help". It was their way of being there without making it look bad that I didn't invite men as well. They didn't really do much - just hung out together but he sat nearby when I was opening presents.

I needed them around anyway to help move my gifts from the venue to the back of the car

[Lyz]

I had 2 shower...one for my side of the fammily and one for Dhs side. DH came to his side of the family so it was anice compromise...

[Sakeenco]

I have seen the dads there a lot when it comes to the showers. I must say I see a lot of jack and jill or family type showers (couples with their kids) and it has always turned out great. When we have ours it's going to be a family type thing kind of like a big party but we are making it open house type as we don't really have the space to accomidate 45+ people at our house and everyone is great with it. (I'm not having my shower until my son is 2-3 weeks old. it's our family tradition to wait)

[mlyster]

I have been to a couple different types of baby showers and most of them had men there. One I attended only had a few men and they spent the "games" portion of the shower hanging out and chatting amongst themselves (not playing the games) but the new dad was definitely invovled in the other parts (food, gifts, etc). For my sister we left the invitation open to the entire family and had probably 25% men attend. Again they didn't really participate in games but they still had a good time.

I think that if Jimmy wants to be there no one will think its strange.