having a rough day...need support and to vent

Soape · #1 February 27th, 2010, 06:55 PM

I'm not a very tall person and I knew that when I got pregnant because I am only 5 foot 4 inches tall and small bone structured that as my belly grew that it would look substantially larger on me than someone else taller or larger structured. Well I've gained a total of 17 pounds now. I was at work today and everyone has been saying things like "OMG your getting tooo big too fast, you've gone from nothing to huge overnight!" Well I had five comments like that today, then the Neonatologist came up to me and said that she thinks i've gained 5 pounds since yesterday in just my belly and is concerned that I might have polyhydramnios and she wants to send me to L&D to have a sono before I leave. She said that she was worried about the baby! I left from work crying today! I'm sooooo sick of everyone's opinion. I'm a high risk pregnancy with a history of miscarriages, the last thing I need to hear right now is things like this. I had a postpartum nurse tell me yesterday that because I have a complete placenta previa and live 20 minutes from the hospital that I could "bleed out before you got to the hospital in time!" I dont know how much more I can take of this. I'm trying so hard to be positve about this pregnancy and give it to God and know that he is going to provide this baby to us.

In what world do people think it's ok to say these things and make comments about pregnant women's weight gain?
thank you for reading my rant!

stlgirl · #2 February 27th, 2010, 07:04 PM

Sorry you are getting so much negativity. Have faith that things will work out - you can't live in fear. Trust your body and your baby

fromustobaby · #3 February 27th, 2010, 08:04 PM

Thats kinda crazy...I mean, your health care is between you and your doctor - not them...

I mean, this neonatologist...is this your doctor, did they actually weigh you yesterday and weigh you today...or were they just talking out of their a $ $...

I did the same thing, I went from nothing to huge in a week...but it is what it is - you have a growing baby in there...

17 pounds is NOT that much...you are almost 25 weeks...
GEESH! So sorry you have to go through that...

BIG

!

ca_dawson · #4 February 27th, 2010, 08:15 PM

I'm sorry you're having to deal with all these comments! I feel your pain, I'm 5'2" with a short torso so 5 lbs on me looks like 20 lbs on someone else! I get the comments both ways, oh you're so big, oh you're so small...which is it?! At 28 weeks I had gained 18 lbs. I just started blowing off the comments. That's all you can do! You are gaining appropriately and as long as your dr is happy with it then you shouldn't worry. Big hugs!!

FyreMommy2B · #5 February 27th, 2010, 08:31 PM

Oh sweetie! *comforting hugs* I'm so sorry you had such a rough day. I'm also short...5' 2.5" and had sooo many people making comments to me when I was pregnant. They kept telling me my baby was going to be HUGE!! She was 5lb 9oz when she was born. As long as your OB and doctors are taking good care of you it doesn't matter what anyone else says.

Just to be a smart aleck, I would tell them (playing devil's advocate) that it's interesting their comments completely contradict what my doctor says and that I'm gaining at a healthy rate and the pregnancy is doing fine. I was also high risk and when people would go overkill with comments I tell them maybe they should go to medical school so they can work on their bedside manner and how nice it must be that they know more than my doctor who tells me I am doing fine. I always did that to shut them up and put them in their place. I had Gestational Diabetes and did just fine. I know God will watch over you and your sweet baby!

Cheryl_W · #6 February 27th, 2010, 08:57 PM

Aww hunnie, I'm so sorry you had a rough day. IDK why people seem to think that weight comments are off limit 99% of the time, but that rule goes out the window when you're pregnant - I mean, come on! Pregnant women are more emotional because of their hormones, we don't want to hear this stuff.

Try telling them that. Ask if they would appreciate it if you commented on THEIR weight, and if not, ask why it is OK if they comment on yours?

And as for the bleeding out, if thats not your doc then say your doc says everything is fine - if that is your doc, then say "well that is something YOU have to help me with, now isn't it?"

Sorry about all the BS, but it'll work out in the end I'm sure. Chin up!

Christine-MA · #7 February 28th, 2010, 06:14 AM

People never cease to amaze me! 17 lbs is nothing at 25 weeks, don't you worry about it! And I can't believe someone would mention the possibility of bleeding out!

Hmm, I'll try to think of something good, but you need a good line to come back at them with. Like if it's an overweight person and they say you look like you've gained 5lbs overnight, you can say "I was thinking the same about you" LOL Okay, I probably wouldn't say it either, but I'd totally want to! Although it does get to a point you're about to snap. Don't you just wish people would keep these things to themselves??

Ash · #8 February 28th, 2010, 06:22 AM

You know, I love what someone else said about coming back at them with "well my doctor says that I am gaining fine and the baby is happy and healthy." Amanda, bottom line is whoever is saying these things are obviously just envious of how great you look right now. If I need to come up there and tell some people off, I will! LOL, man I can't stand the people in that "service line". Hang in there...

karenwalter · #9 February 28th, 2010, 08:46 AM

So sorry you're getting all those comments. I can't stand all the free "advice" that people think they need to give you during pregnancy. I can't believe even the neonatologists were getting involved.....

I know it's tough but try to ignore them. The only persons advice you really need is your own docs, so as long as he says you're fine then you are. Sometimes you just really pop and get big overnight.

Micksbabe · #10 February 28th, 2010, 10:58 AM

I am small too Amanda and I got the "wholly you are getting huge" comments (mostly from my DH

) I am only 5'0 so I totally understand where you are coming from!!

I would just ignore it, which I know is hard to do when you are a hormonally charged pregnant women, just know that if something is wrong then your motherly instict would tell you!!

Jennifer-Jacob's Mommy · #11 February 28th, 2010, 11:33 AM

I hope these people stop making those comments to you. 17 pounds isnt a lot of weight gained at how far you are, its actusually a normal range weight gain. Hope they stop making those comments for the sake of sanity for sure,, I get the same comments except im 5'2 and i got 25 pds on. **HUGS**

tiffanys · #12 February 28th, 2010, 12:33 PM

I'm so sorry that you are dealing with ignorant people who obviously have no idea what they are talking about! And like Ash said, they are just jealous of how great you look!
I too am short 5'4 and my belly seems to be growing very quickly and I am at a total of about a 14 lb. weight gain at almost 20 weeks! I think that 17 lbs at 25 weeks pregnant is a great amount of weight to have gained and I've seen your belly pics in your journal and personally think you look great!
I know it's hard to ignore people's comments, but try not to let it get to you hun....if your dr. was concerned, I'm sure he/ she would be sure to tell you!
I hope your day gets better!!

MommaLee · #13 February 28th, 2010, 12:54 PM

Oh man

I don't know why people feel the need to be so hurtful sometimes.....there was someone at an old workplace that was telling people that this baby of ours is unwanted although dh and I hadn't talked to them in over a year). I found out about it last week and it really touched a nerve with me.

I have really tried to bite my tongue when I hear things, but since that crap with me last week, I've just decided to speak my mind. I've found being more blunt with people has really worked well in the past week. And good thing is....we can blame it all on pregnancy hormones!

Oreobaby · #14 February 28th, 2010, 03:09 PM

It never ceases to amaze me how stupid people can be.

And how they feel that making completely inappropriate comments is somehow appropriate.

I'm so sorry you had a bad day, and I will be praying for you and your little baby bean.

Soape · #15 February 28th, 2010, 06:37 PM

Thank you everyone for letting me vent and for being soooooo suppportive. The neonatologist is the medical director of the Neonatal intensive care unit that I work in as a nurse. Unfortunately I knew when I got pregnant, because of where I work (with all women) that it was going to be hard to deal with their judgements. And as Ash said they can sometimes be really judgemental. I cried about it last night and then got up today and promised my husband that I would try to stand up for myself. I didn't do a very good job today when one person said something about my weight I just tried to ignore it. The old Amanda would have told them off but the pregnant Amanda is so hormonal that I don't know how to anymore. I can't say how thankful I am to have such a great support system on here and in DH otherwise I would loose my mind!.

I seriously can not believe what some people tell pregnant women

Mrs.Paradise · #16 March 1st, 2010, 03:11 AM

I cant believe the nerve of some people!!!

GRRRRR!!! you are ABSOLUTLEY BEAUTIFUL!!! and Im sure you are just PERFECT in EVERY way!!! I know when ever my sisters or SIL's are preggo Im always telling them how GREAT they look!! Ijust think pregnant women are BEAUTIFUL!!! I liked the comment about telling them that you could say the same thing about them... lol thats a good one!!! lol

NortheastWifey · #17 March 1st, 2010, 11:37 AM

Oh my gosh! That's so rude! I'm the same hight and I think I had gained a few more pounds than that when I was at the same point you are in your pregnancy. In the end I gained 39, but I'm now smaller than I was before I got pg. (I was 133 before and am 128 now). Some people are so stupid. And that nurse has to be one of the most insensitive people I've heard of! Wow!!

CandaceDianne · #18 March 1st, 2010, 12:49 PM

Those are terrible comments to make to a pregnant woman!!

I am really sorry!!!

Etph007 · #19 March 1st, 2010, 12:54 PM

You are BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!! Don't let them bring you down.

amazing_love · #20 March 1st, 2010, 08:30 PM

I'm sorry you had to deal with people like that! I could go on and on about how crazy it is that people feel they can say anything to a woman just because she's pregnant... it's insane! I can't imagine getting such harsh comments. I definitely would've told them off. See, i'm opposite as you.. i used to be extremely patient and able to hold my tongue but since being pregnant i pretty much say what's on my mind. lol.

Everything will be okay sweetie. Don't let them get you down.