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This is really long and sounds ranty, but I'm just tired of feeling like no cares and no one hears me. If you make it to the end, thanks.
I'm just trying to to stay sane and keep my mouth closed at my supposedly Christain Southern Baptist College. I do have to say most of the professors are awesome and wonderful, but the students are making this feel like high school all over again. Tuesday I had a woman who would be in her mid 40's or so, treat me worse than dog ****. I was trying to find her group mates phone, that kept ringing and ringing(this lady had only had the phone 3-4 days and didn't know how to work everything yet, and she's 52!), so she thought it was my phone and just went off on me, and when I defended myself she was like I don't even want to hear it, your phone went off to. My phone had been on silent since I had gotten to school, yea it did go off, but it didn't make noise, it just buzzed, and it was on the desk so that I could get to it quickly! Then today there was a baby shower for one of the girls in my methods class, and they didn't bother to invite me or even say anything to me, so I didn't bother to stay. Basically it boils down to I'm the outsider, the one who has only been around the preformed "click" for a year. I thought that maybe I could find real friends at school apparently I was wrong. Oh did I mention that I'm pretty sure that my carpool buddy, lied to me this week and told me my teacher told them not to give me any part in the final unless I asked for it. This was from the day I was home on bedrest!!!! My teacher knew where I was, and my groupmates knew where I was and what was going on. 1 there was no reason not to send me my part, and 2 there was no need to lie to my face about it(though I still have to talk to the teacher to be sure). Then today I get home and my husband has gone to the liquor store and isn't at home....wouldn't answer his phone. Then he has the nerve to ask me why I'm angry! I was like 1 you weren't home when I got here after I called you and told you I was on the way, 2 you went out and spent money on your sinful pleasures, money that we could've/would've been better spend on the baby. And he does this after I said to him this week you are nothing but an alcoholic! He drinks more now that I'm pregnant(and when I miscarried he promised he wouldn't drink in front of me the next time), than he did in the whole time we've been married. Yea, I know your stressed so am I!!!! Also over the weekend I told him I wasn't sure I loved him anymore, because of things he has said and done since we found out I was pregnant. He crossed lines, that you just don't cross, and I'm not sure I can trust him wiht my heart anymore.
I just don't know what to do anymore. People I thought were my friends, act like I'm dog crap when some other people are around. My husband thinks he knows it all, and that he's always right. He even had the nerve to get angry when he heard I had to be on bedrest.
i dont' even know what to say amy except that i'm sorry1!! I hope the next few weeks go by quickly so you can be done with that class and hopefully some of the people. As for DH....omg i don't even know where to begin but my thoughts are with you!
Have Faith, Expect Miracles
SHHHH!! Don't mention Pregnancy on FB please!!
You shouldn't worry about making friends at school....focus on your school work, marriage, and baby. I worked fulltime throughout my undergrad and I knew absolutely NOONE! I did not know anyone's name that I graduated with in my department. I just did the work to graduate. I did get to meet a few people when I got my master's - only because the program was small and set up like a cohort...but I was really a loner, cause I worked fulltime also. Don't let that be something that upsets you.