Hi everyone!

JustLiz · #1 June 17th, 2010, 05:31 PM

For those of you that don't know me from the regular TTC board: I'm Liz and DH is Les. We just got our BFP this morning and I'm so excited! We've been married for about 2 and a half years and we are so happy this finally happened!

I already have a question for everyone here.

My mom has been very involved (TOO INVOLVED!!) in the TTC process and knows everything that's going on, including that we did IUI two weeks ago so should be testing soon. So it would be hard not to tell her. I would essentially have to lie through my teeth.

On the other hand, DH's mom is kind of superstitious about miscarriage and we think she might be upset if we told her this early (might be jinxing it).

AND, we don't want DH's mom to feel left out if my mom knows for a long time before her. We all live very close by each other, but my mom and DH's mom don't see each other often.

My question is: who did you tell about your bfp when? I'm leaning towards telling mom now and DH's mom later. If she's mad we can just say that my mom was really involved with the medical fertility stuff so that's why she new early on.

We are not telling anyone else.

bliss · #2 June 17th, 2010, 05:45 PM

Congrats Liz!!! When is your due date? I think we might be very close!

With our first pregnancy, DH and I agreed to tell the family on a certain date (12 weeks I think), but I blurted it out to my mom a few weeks earlier because I was sick one day and she came over to take care of me and I just couldn't keep my mouth shut

But she kept it quiet, didn't even tell my dad! So I think it's okay if you tell your mom, moms are really special.

Sam914 · #3 June 17th, 2010, 05:50 PM

All we told was DH's best friend (because his wife was pregnant too) and my best friend. We had a m/c two months prior so i didnt want people to know for a while. The two of them were the only ones who knew about the first baby also.

We waited the whole 13 weeks to tell everyone else.

KennasMama · #4 June 17th, 2010, 05:50 PM

Congrats!!! I called my mom on the phone about 20 seconds after the BFP, before it even sank in for DH (we had gotten a BFN at 10 DPO, so I assumed I was out). My mom also knew about our TTC efforts. We told his mom a few days later for the reason we didn't want her to be mad and feel left out. It's honestly up to you how you want to tell family. Good luck with it all. And congrats to you and your hubby!!!

amazing_love · #5 June 17th, 2010, 06:24 PM

Welcome to the grads and congrats!!

We waited to tell people until around 12 weeks, including our parents. We wanted to wait awhile because of my previous m/c. It was really hard to not tell my mom! I say if you want to tell your mom then go for it (as long as she can keep it a secret of course

)

fromustobaby · #6 June 17th, 2010, 08:42 PM

Welcome and CONGRATS!!

We told the parents at 4 weeks along, and I told 2 friends...
Everyone else, we told after the NT scan at 12 weeks...

I lean more toward telling the parents if you are close to them cause they will be there to lean on if something bad happens...but its compeltely what you are most comfortable with - since you are PREGNANT!! (did I mention - congrats again

)

MarinaAndCharlie'sMommy · #7 June 18th, 2010, 02:46 AM

Congrats and welcome! We told everyone at around 5 weeks because I was placed on bedrest for bleeding. I hated telling everyone so early, especially at work. I was kind of hoping I would get a little extra help with things because of it since I was having problems, which everyone was very helpful. The next time though I want to wait until I'm out of the first tri!

mlyster · #8 June 18th, 2010, 06:05 AM

I said this in the TTC#1 thread but CONGRATS!!

I have had both experiences - with my first pregnancy we told my family immediately. It was very hard to call and tell them we had lost the baby but it was nice to know they knew the baby had existed. With the subsequent 3 pregnancies (that also ended in miscarriage) we had our core group of friends who knew (and of course JM) but didn't tell any family until after we had lost them.

With this one we told that same group of core friends (2 couples) and then no one else until 12 weeks. It was not really on purpose I just kept waiting until I was comfortable with the pregnancy - that actually didn't happen at 12 weeks but I was showing and was about the spend a weekend with my family so I needed to tell them. I had successfully avoided them for the couple weeks leading up to telling them or they probably would have found out earlier.

In all cases DHs family found out a few days later than mine but it has something to do with a relationship between a daughter and her mother vs a daughter and her mother in law. I love my inlaws but it is just not quite the same as my biological family. They were not hurt by the fact that my family knew first.

This had gotten really long but ultimately it is your choice when to tell people. And you may find it just slips out. It is really hard NOT to tell - especially if you are around your family a lot.

KDD · #9 June 18th, 2010, 08:33 AM

Welcome Liz!

With our first pregnancy we didn't tell anyone until after our m/c at 10 weeks. I wanted to keep the pregnancy to ourselves for a while first, but after felt like I had cheated our parents out of the joy of the pregnancy since they only knew about the loss.

This time around we had told our parents all about the IVF so we told them after we got the "official" word from the RE that we were pg. We didn't tell anyone else until after our 12 week u/s (in fact I would have waited longer but my MIL basically told the world).

If I were you, I would tell when I feel comfortable.

Best of luck to you!

MommaLee · #10 June 18th, 2010, 10:47 AM

Congrats!!!

I wanted to wait until the second trimester to tell family - dh's cousins wife announced she was pregnant to family and then miscarried and they had to call everyone and tell them the news and I wanted to avoid that, but my dh has a big mouth and called his parents after my bfp. So to be courteous...I called my mom. We asked family not to tell until we knew everything was okay. The only person who didn't keep the secret was dh's stepmom.

After our first appointment dh told everyone...I only told my boss. There were people up at my work that didn't even know I was pregnant until the last few weeks before I delivered - that is just my personality though - I keep things to myself.

jensma · #11 June 18th, 2010, 01:51 PM

we told just a handful of people in the beginning. The only family we told was DH's brother and SIL. The rest of them all got to know around the same time (10-11 weeks). And then i told on FB (to friends and whatever) at around 12 weeks. It was hard not to tell but i'm glad we waited!

JustLiz · #12 June 18th, 2010, 04:20 PM

Thanks everyone!

I feel better. I told mom only. We'll see if she can keep a secret!! I'm going to see all my in-laws at the end of August - SIL in Boston is due any day now. I think I will try to tell everyone else then. My Dad and brother won't mind hearing on the phone.

*Mommy2Camden* · #13 June 18th, 2010, 08:28 PM

Congrats & Welcome!!!! Honestly, I took my 1st FRER at like 4:00am and my mom was the very 1st person I called. (Even before I woke up my hubby) I would just do whatever feels right.

karenwalter · #14 June 19th, 2010, 09:46 PM

Sounds like you already made your decision, but I just wanted to say congrats and welcome anyway

denalibear · #15 June 20th, 2010, 05:13 PM

Yahoo congrats again!!!

JuiceF · #16 June 21st, 2010, 05:52 PM

Congrats Liz, sorry I was MIA all weekend, sent you a PM as well!!

I am super duper

for you!!! xoxoxox happy and healthy 9 months!!!

tiffanys · #17 June 21st, 2010, 06:09 PM

Congrats and welcome to the grads board hun! I can't wait to follow your journey!

As far as who we told....EVERYONE! We told everyone we knew the day we found out and had it confirmed at the dr's office!

JustLiz · #18 June 21st, 2010, 06:17 PM

thanks again!

ashnichole2326 · #19 June 22nd, 2010, 06:17 AM

Liz!!!! I am so excited to see you here

And just so you know...I am a nut and BLURTED it out to my mother, sister and best friend right away!!!

The very next day, Jerrod decided he'd blurt it out at a cookout with his family and friends...obviously he was too excited to contain himself.

It would really suck though to have to tell everyone it was over if we lost him/her, but I look at it differently I guess...I think it would be nice in that situation to have some support and people to know we are having a hard time especially since our families have already made things stressful enough for us the past couple years.

It's a decision you have to make in your own way...think of the pros and cons of telling people at a certain time.