Me and DH talked, and he AGAIN agreed that we can't afford rent. I showed him the numbers what we earn, what comes out, etc.
My SIL and BIL comes up to talk.. and I told them exactly that I havent changed my mind, that I will move out if I have to.... then
DH switched, he wanted to pay rent. It was like he was chicken **** and was afraid to say it. Three of them ganged up on me! I was so frustrated that my own husband didn't even have my back! I was so upset at him.
Anyways of two hours of having 3 of them gangin on me, tryin to get me to compromise. I wouldn't compromise any money value. We just don't have the funds there if we want to have our OWN home, and hey, thats the reason why I moved there. ( to walk to a store, its a 30 min walk) ... and it was no in the agreement for us to pay rent at all, it was as long as they were living away we can live there as long as we want...free of rent.
I took out the sheet of paper and showed them.. still they tried. Hey, I can't really blame them for tryin, but I had no problem moving back out really, cause the way I see it if i couldnt have my home, i wanted to be back in the city!
Hubby was dead set on not moving back to city. and I was dead sit on not paying rent cause that was no the agreement, we were both i guess bullheaded. Anyways, since they knew I wouldn't budge, the agreement they made, brad will do labour work on the house, they provide the supplies, he do the maintence and renovations. I can live with that, and so can my DH. I was planning on having the shell of our home up by end of next summer and just do interior during a year without mortgage.. but I have decided, we are doing to have the house house completed next year, just have to take out more mortgage cause i'm figuring where this happen this year,, they might do the same next year.. so im gettin out of here as soon as I can into our new home.
Me and DH got into it after they left, I was not letting it go about him ganging up on me, I really was hurt by what he did. He did apologize and stuff.. but it still bothers me... I said to him, he would have not liked it if it was my family, and I ganged up on him, I know he wouldnt...
Thanks for your nice comments, understandings from my view, lol, and t&p!! I love you all ladies!!!!
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a little background on the situation
back in sept 09, we were offered to housesit my BIL and SIL house while they are moved away for work. Rent free, as long as we took care of the house etc. ( BY THE WAY THIS HOUSE IS NEXT TO HIS PARENTS.......)
Fast forward. We paid off most of our bills. Started to have plans of how to get a mortgage for our own home. It was very possible we will have our home for 60,000 next summer, brand new home, with only 45,000 mortgage. We finally thought, Yes, things are working out for us. We are gettin what we want..
I only agreed to move here to save for our own home. ONLY REASON. its 45 mins away from friends and family and really I was just more happier in town and content, he was too. I would have not agreed to move here if we had to pay rent cause with the light bill and gas bill,maintence of the car, it would have been just cheaper to stay where we were in town. We did not have much, BUT WE WERE HAPPY.
this is the expense with my old place and expense new place
rent: 800
light/heat: 140
internet/phone/tv: 120
gas:10.00 every 3 days ( he had company vehicle going abck and forth work, did not pay gas .. )
new place
heat:400
internet/cable:140.00
phone: 75.00
gas: 140.00 a week ( in sept, when i go back to school this will move up to 180.00 A WEEK, SO TOTAL : 560.00 A MONTH, IN SEPT 720.00)
OLD PLACE EXPENSES : 1130 nEW PLACE EXPENSES: 1175.00
as you can see, we ain't saving if we are at all. doing all this highway driving is doing lots of wear and tear on the car ( we just had to spend 1200.00 in maintence..... not everything is fixed).
anyways, the BIL and SIL are home on vacation.
they cornered DH when I wasnt around and pretty much said we had to pay 400.00 rent. I told my DHhat we can not afford to pay rent with me being off on maternity leave and yada yada. He told them we pay it. Comes back to me, tells me what was said, I said to him, NO we aint paying it.. then he agrees we cant afford it.... a few wks went by, this comes up again.. they think we are paying rent. I had it out with my SIL today.. I told her bottom line, we cant afford to pay rent and have our home. I only movedout here , is to have my home. If i can't have my home, i'll be moving back to town where I wanna be. If i cant have my home, eithe rway i rather just pay it in town. I understand they cant afford to be payin mortgage etc and pay rent where they are too. but they have to understand where I am coming from too. they are making 75,000, we are making 50,000. they can afford it hella lot more then me.
I am firm on this, there just isnt compromise. There is NO more to give for rent right now. I mean we are payin the property tax. I didnt expect them to pay it where they dont live here.
DH won't move back to town.
I ain't paying rent.
Basically if I won't agree topay rent, we are separating.
If i agree to pay rent, we will have no money to do anything. I will be looking at these four ways day in day out, wont be able to even go to town to do things cause I wont be able to afford the gas to go. I Just wont have a life. I will be miserable. I will start to resent him for this. as I would have not agreed to move here If i had to know we would have had to pay rent. Rent prices have went up, we lost our great apartment. Now when I do move back to town, Ill have to go to a basement apartment.
I already told him I will be moving back to town WITH JACOB. I don't care. he knows im serious. and he is serious. I ain't giving in. I gave in when him and his family was at me to move in here to take care of the house when I really didnt want to, but I did and "dealt" with it. I have adjusted to having no privacy with inlaws always here.
I just don't know what to do. I just know I am dead set on not payin rent. and he just doesn't understand. I mean, i cant do anything here,, there isnt any walmart or grocery store near for 45 mins so during the days i cant just go to a store to waste time.
sorry if this has been all over the page, I just can't stop crying.
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**UPDATE***I think my marriage is going to be over. I am so upset ---xposted---
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