Still sensitive about "surprise"/unwanted pregnancies

Lex&angels · #1 August 22nd, 2010, 03:17 PM

I know this is really weird. Being pregnant obviously has taken the edge off, but I STILL have that gut feeling of anger & bitterness & jealousy when I hear of people getting pregnant when they were trying not to.
A friend was telling me about a mutual friend who announced it publicly/officially, so she's already in her 2d trimester. She said "congrats" and the girl actually replied "weeeeeelll... this one wasn't really planned" and looked all sad.
She already has 4 kids. I'm sorry but get the F over it! You're SO blessed to be in your 2d trimester, it's not the time to rant PUBLICLY about being pregnant in the first place. It's SO offensive. It's not like it's terrible news either. They own a very nice large house and have 2 stable jobs, and LOVE kids (they have 4 planned ones). I get that you freak out. Do it to your close friends, and in the 1st trimester. Once you're telling everyone can't you just at least PRETEND to be happy at least for the sake of your other kids???

Ugh can you tell I'm super sensitive about this?

I just can't fathom accidental pregnancy.

I know for sure I'll NEVER have a surprise baby. Because even if I do get pregnant by surprise, I won't have been taking the medicines I need on time, and I'll have another miscarriage.

Is it weird I'm jealous of surprise babies?

/end irrational pregnant woman rant who is jealous of people in the 2d trimester because they can relax especially if they didn't have to try in the first place.

amonstersmomma · #2 August 22nd, 2010, 07:28 PM

((HUGS)) I know I didn't have to try very long to get pregnant but it does irk me to hear about unplanned pregnancies/unwanted pregnancies. Like DH's sister who got pregnant with her 3rd baby a month before us and she's not even 20 years old yet

I usually "hide" those people's posts on FB.

Gray_baby · #3 August 23rd, 2010, 10:02 AM

I think in your situation your feelings are pretty normal. I imagine hearing comments like that would be pretty hard to hear. Sorry hun.

Cheryl_W · #4 August 23rd, 2010, 03:02 PM

I totally hear you... I still hate it, and I'm finally holding my little girl in my arms. I feel so blessed to actually finally have her, that to hear people complaining about how they never wanted to be pregnant in the first place makes me want to say "then give the baby to someone who does, but can't."

LoLo'sMama · #5 August 24th, 2010, 05:56 PM

You're still in shared company with your thoughts, I do hope it gets better in time for us. But just the other day I found out that D's best friend's GF who is going through a divorce, has 2 children, got pregnant while on the nuvaring!!! We all had to endure what we did to even have our babies, and she gets pregnant while on BC that is 99% effective!! Needless to say, she is a great girl and a great mom, but this wasn't planned given their circumstances....just doesn't add up and it probably never will to us....

LaLaRose3 · #6 August 25th, 2010, 04:28 PM

I got pregnant when I wasn't trying to. I didn't ***** and moan about it to everyone I knew, but some people need to get their fears off their chest. The way they handle a situation like that is completely unique to that person. So, I guess I don't really get it...?

I have been on both sides- losing a pregnancy, trying hard for a baby, and now an unplanned pregnancy. And an unplanned, unexpected, (which doesn't necessarily always mean unWANTED) pregnancy can be, and usually IS, scary.

Lex&angels · #7 August 26th, 2010, 02:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LaLaRose3

I got pregnant when I wasn't trying to. I didn't ***** and moan about it to everyone I knew, but some people need to get their fears off their chest. The way they handle a situation like that is completely unique to that person. So, I guess I don't really get it...?

I have been on both sides- losing a pregnancy, trying hard for a baby, and now an unplanned pregnancy. And an unplanned, unexpected, (which doesn't necessarily always mean unWANTED) pregnancy can be, and usually IS, scary.

I'm sure it is scary. But once she's past the 1st trimester you'd think she could have gotten the negative off her chest to her close friends so when she announces it to people they can at least congratulate her? IDK.
This was just a vent. I don't think any less of her and I'm not going to say anything to her face and all... It's just the situation still strikes me as crazy.
When you've been thinking of babies with every breath for over a year and crying yourself to sleep every night for months you want a baby so bad, and you miss the ones you lost so much, even being pregnant doesn't completely remove the sting of hearing about women who just get what you want and don't even appreciate it.

And by the way, I was an unexpected baby for my parents, but by the time they were telling people they were BEYOND excited. This woman I'm talking about acts like her baby is unWANTED. So I "get" unplanned but wanted, to a degree.

~April04~ · #8 August 26th, 2010, 01:13 PM

I still feel upset/bitter when I hear about unplanned/unwanted pregnancies.

I know we'll never get pregnant w/o IVF (barring a complete miracle - and the chances of that happening are like under 2% or something).

amazing_love · #9 August 26th, 2010, 02:04 PM

I can understand why it still gets you upset. It's completely understandable! Seeing my good JM friends go through fertility problems makes me want to slap people who act like their pregnancy is a horrible thing. I do however get that there is a difference between unplanned and unwanted pregnancies.. just because it wasn't planned doesn't mean the baby is not wanted.