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  #1  
October 2nd, 2009, 08:43 PM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Does Dh being on board for the most part make or break BF success?

How important do you actually think HE is in this mix?

Do you think there is enough info & help out there to assist women in getting Dh on board & what more do you think can be/should be done in this regard (if anything)?
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  #2  
October 3rd, 2009, 12:43 AM
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make.

very.

parenthood is a team effort.

Last edited by Quinn eee; October 3rd, 2009 at 12:46 AM.
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  #3  
October 3rd, 2009, 06:32 AM
glasscandie's Avatar What I make is what I am
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I would have BF whether DH was on board or not, because I'm stubborn like that - but luckily he was supportive, as were both sides of our family.
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  #4  
October 3rd, 2009, 07:56 AM
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My DH was very supportive in our decision to breastfeed. And it was a decision for us. I am on two medications that don't have enough studies to show if they are safe for breastfeeding. I had assumed I couldn't BF because of that. But my husband was insistent we do as much research as we could to make our decision. And boy did we! We talked to every doctor and nurse involved in caring for my various conditions, the pediatrician, even people from the pharmaceutical company. We made a very informed choice to BF.

I think that if he didn't care one way or the other, I may have just gone with the Rx warning lables of "do not breastfeed," put there only because there isn't a significant amount of data available. But digging deeper we found that what little research that has been done show absolutely no adverse effects. I am so happy to be BF!
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  #5  
October 3rd, 2009, 08:49 AM
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If Chris wasn't so supportive I'm not sure I would have nursed as long as I have/am doing.
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  #6  
October 3rd, 2009, 01:55 PM
Gina1978's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Does Dh being on board for the most part make or break BF success? Deffinately.I didnt even attempt to BF my older daughter because DH was totally against it and he refused to let me even try.If your husband is going to be riding your back and giving you a hard time about it,you are likely to give up very early,or not even try..its sad.

How important do you actually think HE is in this mix? Well,if your DH supports you and agrees with you it makes everything a WHOLE lot easier,so his support and his blessing is very important to make things work for the mom.BFing is already hard as it is,so having someone to support and help you through those first weeks and then through to extended BFing is essential.

Do you think there is enough info & help out there to assist women in getting Dh on board & what more do you think can be/should be done in this regard (if anything)?
In my case,I was VERY persistant the second time around,and I looked up LOTS of info for DH to read.Men dont really understand all that goes into BFing.INfact,sometimes just saying that its "best" doesnt convince them.I think men should be involved in the process of learning about it waaay before the baby is even born,so that the ones that arent comfortable with it can be educated fully on the subject and learn to accept and respect it for the amazing thing that it is.
If my husband did it,any man can
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  #7  
October 3rd, 2009, 03:56 PM
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Dh was on board with me BF. He is all for it. Even if he was agaist it I would have anyways.
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  #8  
October 3rd, 2009, 07:47 PM
rose198172's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Dh supported me no matter what I did. I think he was more apt to have the desire for me to BF, though... so he wouldn't have to get up for 3am feedings. LOL. Just a hunch.
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  #9  
October 4th, 2009, 01:51 PM
TheOtherMichelle's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beck12 View Post
Does Dh being on board for the most part make or break BF success?

How important do you actually think HE is in this mix?

Do you think there is enough info & help out there to assist women in getting Dh on board & what more do you think can be/should be done in this regard (if anything)?
I definitely think dh/so/whatever is....well I don't want to say 100% essential... but very, very important. You could have a situation like Gina in which he is adamantly opposed, and even if you have great willpower it would be very difficult to continue should you hit any difficulties BFing (which is pretty likely). And even if he is neutral and you run into difficulties and want to quit, I think that is much more likely if his attitude is, "whatever makes you happy" vs. trying to give you encouragement and actively doing things to help you over the rough patches.

I think there should be more information geared towards fathers in how important BFing is for those very reasons. My dh knew I wanted to do it, and we took a BFing class at the hospital so he was aware of the benefits. So when I did hit some rough times he kept me going. I swear he and my pediatrician were the ones who kept me going when I was overwhelmed and babyblue'ed.
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  #10  
October 4th, 2009, 03:01 PM
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Originally Posted by TheOtherMichelle View Post
I definitely think dh/so/whatever is....well I don't want to say 100% essential... but very, very important. You could have a situation like Gina in which he is adamantly opposed, and even if you have great willpower it would be very difficult to continue should you hit any difficulties BFing (which is pretty likely). And even if he is neutral and you run into difficulties and want to quit, I think that is much more likely if his attitude is, "whatever makes you happy" vs. trying to give you encouragement and actively doing things to help you over the rough patches.

I think there should be more information geared towards fathers in how important BFing is for those very reasons. My dh knew I wanted to do it, and we took a BFing class at the hospital so he was aware of the benefits. So when I did hit some rough times he kept me going. I swear he and my pediatrician were the ones who kept me going when I was overwhelmed and babyblue'ed.
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  #11  
October 4th, 2009, 03:07 PM
(.Y.)mom2dd(.Y.)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beck12 View Post
Does Dh being on board for the most part make or break BF success?

How important do you actually think HE is in this mix?

Do you think there is enough info & help out there to assist women in getting Dh on board & what more do you think can be/should be done in this regard (if anything)?
My dh has been a huge reason for the success of our breastfeeding relationship. I've had so many insecure mommy moments, that I just can't imagine how I would have done this without his support. I think the cooking and cleaning is a huge weight on my shoulders that he takes over without pause.

The biggest thing about the bfing relationship is *I* think it's really hard on all of us that DH can't lactate! LOL! He wants to help more but DD just needs boobie, something I know it hurts he can't provide. I think that's why he is so good in the other arenas.

He even comes to the breastfeeding challenges to help me manage dd, take pictures and support breastfeeding in general. The worst part is events like that just don't have much for dads. Our LLL group is dad friendly and I think that helps quite a bit.
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  #12  
October 18th, 2009, 03:25 AM
Nekinna2402's Avatar Anniken <3 Tanja
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(Don't have a DH/SO/etc)

But most places I have read about breastfeeding, I don't feel as though there is really much information for the fathers (too be).
Maybe if there was more articles for the dads then I think a lot of DH's would feel much more eased about the subject and know HOW to help and what to do to make it easier for the mothers who nurse
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  #13  
October 18th, 2009, 09:09 AM
SweetSimpleThings's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NavyWife1981 View Post
Dh supported me no matter what I did. I think he was more apt to have the desire for me to BF, though... so he wouldn't have to get up for 3am feedings. LOL. Just a hunch.
Ditto this. DH was very supportive. I can't imagine trying to make it work with someone telling you to quit all the time

I definietely think there needs to be more info for dads (and extended family) so they "get" that it really is important for them to be supportive.
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  #14  
October 18th, 2009, 09:43 AM
mama_reese's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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When I was pregnant DF was all for BFing as much as I was, but the more we read up on it he got even MORE into it. He was such a huge help. In the hospital he would help me when I was feeding him by getting me water and constantly just gave me the support I needed! He has been great ever sine and is all for me BFing until RJ weans, whenever that will be. I love my DF for it!
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  #15  
October 19th, 2009, 06:04 AM
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The biggest thing about the bfing relationship is *I* think it's really hard on all of us that DH can't lactate! LOL! He wants to help more but DD just needs boobie, something I know it hurts he can't provide
That never stopped dd from trying! A few times when I was out, dd tried to nurse off of dh and was like "***, where's the milk?" And the best was a few nights ago, while half-asleep she lifted ds' pajama shirt and tried to nurse off of him!
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  #16  
October 19th, 2009, 06:15 AM
Nekinna2402's Avatar Anniken <3 Tanja
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^^^^
That is too funny
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  #17  
October 19th, 2009, 06:20 AM
SusieQ2's Avatar Jersey Girl
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Originally Posted by insert clever username View Post
That never stopped dd from trying! A few times when I was out, dd tried to nurse off of dh and was like "***, where's the milk?" And the best was a few nights ago, while half-asleep she lifted ds' pajama shirt and tried to nurse off of him!
LOL That is so cute!
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  #18  
October 19th, 2009, 09:01 AM
Mikasa's Avatar Mom of 2 girls and 1 boy!
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I think it is very important to have DH on board. We never even discussed BFing, everyone in his family did it and it was assumed I would too (which I was always planning on) BUT if I married into a different family who all formula fed, I probably would have done that instead (so glad I married into a BFing family, since mine is not)
I stopped at 9 months with my first since I was getting pressure from everyone to quit (including DH) and with my second I went to 13 months (after months of DH asking when I was going to be done)
So towards the end I think he thinks they are getting to "big" but I have learned to stand my own on this one! He used to have me go in the bathroom to nurse in public and with my second I never did that. He is still weirded out by NIP (even though I would cover up) but I decided that I am going to do what is best for my baby and he slowly started coming around to the idea of nursing longer and not in private (but he still hasn't completely)
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  #19  
October 19th, 2009, 09:38 AM
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I think DH plays a huge part in BF'ing. My boyfriend was 100% supportive after the first few days. At the hospital he was so worried that she wasn't getting enough milk and was starving. Then at home he was all about it. Made me proud of him, especially since everyone around us was saying how 'gross' it was.
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  #20  
October 19th, 2009, 04:28 PM
TheOtherMichelle's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Originally Posted by insert clever username View Post
That never stopped dd from trying! A few times when I was out, dd tried to nurse off of dh and was like "***, where's the milk?" And the best was a few nights ago, while half-asleep she lifted ds' pajama shirt and tried to nurse off of him!
When dd was itty-bitty dh was holding her up to his face and she tried to latch on to his nose!
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