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  #1  
October 15th, 2009, 09:48 AM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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So - I know with little ones that are shy there really isn't much you can do about it...but as they get older I am sure there must be ways you can work with them...

So at what age do you try to work with a shy child & in what ways?
Is it okay let's say to have a 7 yr old that doesn't speak when spoken to (like say an adult asks them a question & you are standing right there...and they either ignore the adult or attempt to whisper to you).....?

I think you get my drift (I hope)....
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B - Crazy momma to my two boys
We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
Don't wait to make your son a great man - make him a great boy. ~Author Unknown
You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. ~Erich Fromm
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~William Makepeace Thackeray
God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers. ~Jewish Proverb
The best conversations with mothers always take place in silence, when only the heart speaks. ~Carrie Latet




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  #2  
October 15th, 2009, 01:47 PM
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I think being "shy" or introverted is a personality type. I have an undergraduate and graduate degree in psychology and from everything I have studied changing someone's personality is very, very, VERY difficult - and most times not needed. My 3.5 y-o dd is shy around most adults she is not familiar with - dh and I are the exact opposite - we're both quite extroverted. Ironically, I won a free reading with a psychic before Bella was born and the psychic actually said our child was going to be shy, she knew dh and I were extroverted, and said we shouldn't try to change her LOL - not that I would have anyway. Maybe there are things you can do to booster their confidence at later ages but if that doesn't change their shyness I don't think you should push it. If someone tried to make me less extroverted I know it would make me miserable. I don't think shyness is a negative thing - I know many shy people that I admire a great deal. And I don't think I'll have to worry about Bella going off with strangers willingly. As a kid I was always talking to strangers.
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  #3  
October 15th, 2009, 02:02 PM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brie View Post
I think being "shy" or introverted is a personality type. I have an undergraduate and graduate degree in psychology and from everything I have studied changing someone's personality is very, very, VERY difficult - and most times not needed. My 3.5 y-o dd is shy around most adults she is not familiar with - dh and I are the exact opposite - we're both quite extroverted. Ironically, I won a free reading with a psychic before Bella was born and the psychic actually said our child was going to be shy, she knew dh and I were extroverted, and said we shouldn't try to change her LOL - not that I would have anyway. Maybe there are things you can do to booster their confidence at later ages but if that doesn't change their shyness I don't think you should push it. If someone tried to make me less extroverted I know it would make me miserable. I don't think shyness is a negative thing - I know many shy people that I admire a great deal. And I don't think I'll have to worry about Bella going off with strangers willingly. As a kid I was always talking to strangers.
But I am, sure your parents tried to discourage talking to strangers, talking out of turn or during class, etc...how is it so different from trying to get a shy child to answer when asked a question by an adult or to speak for themselves? (age appropriate of course, like I said, not at 3, but say at 8) I am SUPER extroverted & for SURE I was constantly being told & reminded to keep my mouth shut at certain times, not talk so willingly to people I don't know, not to give out so much personal info so easily, etc. i am THANKFUL for that guidance personally - as that wasn't natural to me.
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B - Crazy momma to my two boys
We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
Don't wait to make your son a great man - make him a great boy. ~Author Unknown
You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. ~Erich Fromm
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~William Makepeace Thackeray
God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers. ~Jewish Proverb
The best conversations with mothers always take place in silence, when only the heart speaks. ~Carrie Latet




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  #4  
October 15th, 2009, 02:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beck12 View Post
But I am, sure your parents tried to discourage talking to strangers, talking out of turn or during class, etc...how is it so different from trying to get a shy child to answer when asked a question by an adult or to speak for themselves? (age appropriate of course, like I said, not at 3, but say at 8) I am SUPER extroverted & for SURE I was constantly being told & reminded to keep my mouth shut at certain times, not talk so willingly to people I don't know, not to give out so much personal info so easily, etc. i am THANKFUL for that guidance personally - as that wasn't natural to me.
Well, I guess it's hard for me to answer that b/c 1. my parents never discouraged me from talking to strangers - but I know my childhood was probably very different from anyone in the world b/c I have 2 brothers that died at 13 months, and 1 weeks from congenital heart defects, and a brother who was molested and murdered at age 6 so I was "raised" (and I use that term very loosely) by parents who were probably suffering from post traumatic stress disorder (and that's just the beginning and way off topic) - they were "there" but not really "there" if you know what I mean.
and 2. I didn't really get into trouble in school for being an extrovert - learning to follow the rules by not talking out of turn doesn't really have to do with personality; it can be related to learning disabilities like ADHD, impulse control etc. While I was not shy around adults and felt comfortable asking and answering questions I didn't have a lot of problems following the rules.

I guess I have to go back to my original post, and say while you can try things to bolster a shy child's confidence, if they don't want to they shouldn't be punished or "forced" to change. I think in the long run forcing a person to change who they are innately will do more harm than good.
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  #5  
October 15th, 2009, 10:08 PM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I dont' know why you think I am talking about trying to change who anyone innately is???

Are you saying that a 12 yr who doesn't speak to an adult when spoken to is acceptable as long as the child is shy? Or do you think a child needs to be encouraged & pushed at some point to have at least a minimal amount of social graces & politeness despite being shy? I have seen parents allow children as old as 10 to act as if they aren't even being spoken to under the guise "she's shy"..and people i know. I know the child is intelligent, is able to speak, has all of their mental faculties, it's just an established accepted behavior due to shyness that they have grown up with....and I have seen it a number of times actually. I am just not sure this is in the child's best interest...and I am wondering how you approach such a thing and beginning at what age. I can tell you that a child of mine that is cognitively okay & has no disorders wouldn't be allowed to ignore an adult talking to them without at least an acknowledgment...because I dont' think it is good for the child. I don't have a shy child now, but I may. And as I said - not at 3, but for sure by 8 I would hope I would be working on having them speak up when spoken to....at least basics like "hello".

And I can assure you I have no learning disabilities, ADHD, or impulse control. LOL I just was (and still am a talker) and as a kid, that sometimes didn't have correct natural boundaries & was something I needed to work on. I think that is VERY common....I have known a number of such talkers in my time that have no other "issues" underlying why they talk a lot...just that personality. Being a talker when you shouldn't be is no more indicative of other "issues" than being shy & not talking when it IS appropriate.
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B - Crazy momma to my two boys
We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
Don't wait to make your son a great man - make him a great boy. ~Author Unknown
You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. ~Erich Fromm
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~William Makepeace Thackeray
God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers. ~Jewish Proverb
The best conversations with mothers always take place in silence, when only the heart speaks. ~Carrie Latet




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  #6  
October 15th, 2009, 10:46 PM
(.Y.)mom2dd(.Y.)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beck12 View Post
So - I know with little ones that are shy there really isn't much you can do about it...but as they get older I am sure there must be ways you can work with them...

So at what age do you try to work with a shy child & in what ways?
Is it okay let's say to have a 7 yr old that doesn't speak when spoken to (like say an adult asks them a question & you are standing right there...and they either ignore the adult or attempt to whisper to you).....?

I think you get my drift (I hope)....
I think it's just plain unfair to expect any person at any age to engage with an adult they aren't comfortable with. I think I'm a pretty outgoing being but even I am a bit guarded around new people or new situations. If my child ends up being a shy child, I'll work with her confidence to make sure that isn't an underlining issue but even if that's not really the issue, I'll just respect that as part of her personality.

(Oh, and if I didn't catch your drift, it's because I don't speak Americana well ~ sorry! LOL!)
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  #7  
October 15th, 2009, 11:25 PM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by (.Y.)mom2dd(.Y.) View Post
I think it's just plain unfair to expect any person at any age to engage with an adult they aren't comfortable with. I think I'm a pretty outgoing being but even I am a bit guarded around new people or new situations. If my child ends up being a shy child, I'll work with her confidence to make sure that isn't an underlining issue but even if that's not really the issue, I'll just respect that as part of her personality.

(Oh, and if I didn't catch your drift, it's because I don't speak Americana well ~ sorry! LOL!)
LOL - you are a stinker...

I don't mean an adult they aren't comfortable with, I mean like come to a family gathering & make no eye contact & say hi to no one even when spoken to (except other children), ignore a waitress that asks if they want a drink...etc. I am alllllll for not making a child hug Aunt Millie let's say....because I don't think you can infringe on their space that way. I am wondering how it will serve a child well not to teach them social graces though & to me, ignoring adults that are being respectful & polite is actually handicapping that child whether they realize it or not.... If that makes more sense. I am having a really hard time articulating this..... BLEH. I have a sister that is (more so was) VERY painfully shy & my BFF growing up was as well - it was a HUGE handicap in their lives & even they will admit that. I am wondering about helping a child with this so that it doesn't hurt them....like other kids thinking they are stuck up (and reacting accordingly) adults thinking they are rude(and again not bonding with them as a result since it is hard to bond with a child that won't acknowledge you are even speaking), etc, etc. It DOES hurt them, you cannot convince me otherwise when I have watched it. I don't think you can make a shy person not shy - but I think ALL personality types have weaknesses & as parents is it not our responsibility to help our children work on the weaknesses within that personality type & to encourage the strengths in that personality type too? I guess I see that as just good parenting.
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B - Crazy momma to my two boys
We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
Don't wait to make your son a great man - make him a great boy. ~Author Unknown
You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. ~Erich Fromm
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~William Makepeace Thackeray
God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers. ~Jewish Proverb
The best conversations with mothers always take place in silence, when only the heart speaks. ~Carrie Latet




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  #8  
October 15th, 2009, 11:41 PM
(.Y.)mom2dd(.Y.)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beck12 View Post
LOL - you are a stinker...

I don't mean an adult they aren't comfortable with, I mean like come to a family gathering & make no eye contact & say hi to no one even when spoken to (except other children), ignore a waitress that asks if they want a drink...etc. I am alllllll for not making a child hug Aunt Millie let's say....because I don't think you can infringe on their space that way. I am wondering how it will serve a child well not to teach them social graces though & to me, ignoring adults that are being respectful & polite is actually handicapping that child whether they realize it or not.... If that makes more sense. I am having a really hard time articulating this..... BLEH. I have a sister that is (more so was) VERY painfully shy & my BFF growing up was as well - it was a HUGE handicap in their lives & even they will admit that. I am wondering about helping a child with this so that it doesn't hurt them....like other kids thinking they are stuck up (and reacting accordingly) adults thinking they are rude(and again not bonding with them as a result since it is hard to bond with a child that won't acknowledge you are even speaking), etc, etc. It DOES hurt them, you cannot convince me otherwise when I have watched it. I don't think you can make a shy person not shy - but I think ALL personality types have weaknesses & as parents is it not our responsibility to help our children work on the weaknesses within that personality type & to encourage the strengths in that personality type too? I guess I see that as just good parenting.
Whatever crazy lady..


8 WAYS TO HELP THE SHY CHILD

SCHOOLPHOBIA

Hope that helps!
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  #9  
October 16th, 2009, 12:03 AM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by (.Y.)mom2dd(.Y.) View Post
Whatever crazy lady..


8 WAYS TO HELP THE SHY CHILD

SCHOOLPHOBIA

Hope that helps!
That is exactly what I was talking about....

THIS I am fine with:
Quote:
Shyness is a personality trait, not a fault. Some of the nicest people I've ever known are shy. These persons tend to be attentive listeners, private people who exude a welcome presence even without saying a word.
Quote:
Many shy children have a solid self-concept. They have an inner peace that shines; if the extroverts would be quiet long enough they would notice its glow.
A shy child with healthy self- worth makes eye-to-eye contact, is polite, and seems happy with herself. She is just quiet. Her behavior is generally good; she is a nice child to be around, and people are comfortable in her presence.
THIS is the shyness I am talking about when I say "what to do about it":
Quote:
In some children, shyness is the manifestation of inner problems, not inner peace. This child is more than shy, he withdraws. He avoids eye-to-eye contact and has a lot of behavioral problems. People are not comfortable in his presence.
Honestly - I have known few I would think fit the first category & far more that fit the second, at least in childhood. But I have known shy people that I would NEVER call shy - I think of them as quiet... I guess according to this there is not much difference in terms though.

And I have to say I disagree that withdrawal & lack of eye contact & response has NOT been (in the people I have known IRL) to be at ALL tied to behavioral problems. I did disagree with that overall.
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B - Crazy momma to my two boys
We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
Don't wait to make your son a great man - make him a great boy. ~Author Unknown
You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. ~Erich Fromm
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~William Makepeace Thackeray
God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers. ~Jewish Proverb
The best conversations with mothers always take place in silence, when only the heart speaks. ~Carrie Latet





Last edited by beck12; October 16th, 2009 at 12:05 AM.
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  #10  
October 16th, 2009, 03:07 AM
Mom2DyJessAva's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Just popping in but..My son is EXTREMELY shy..so shy that people ask me if he talks..Now if you see him at home with just family he isnt shy LOL..My daughter is prettygoing..LOVES attention from anyone (which is scary)..i enrolled my son into dance (ballet/tap and soon jazz) and it was an awesome choice. At the beginning he would stick by the wall,wouldnt leave my side even if i was 5 inches away!..Now if you see him in dance he is a whole different kid..he holds other kids hands is now starting to actually answer the teacher (a little talking mostly noding and smiling)..he does everything the teacher wants them to do..ive never tried to push him into being like jessie but dance has come along ways!
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  #11  
October 16th, 2009, 05:51 AM
stardusthealer's Avatar Super Mommy
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I was extremely shy growing up and didn't really come out of my shell until I had my second child. He is outgoing and he kind of forced me to come out.
My youngest son is extremely shy when he was in preschool they thought he didn't know how to speak. Then they saw him in the hall way interacting with his brother and were shocked at how different he was inside the class room to what they saw with his brother. He is still shy now but it takes him time to feel comfortable enough to interact and talk to new people, once he sees i am okay with them or that his brother and sister is okay with them then he will join in.
I don't think its okay to force a shy child to talk to others until they are ready. I don't think its okay for them to ignore or be rude but also as the parent of shy kids I will explain to the person that it takes my child time to feel comfortable to interact.
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  #12  
October 16th, 2009, 07:07 AM
Tammyjh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beck12 View Post
LOL - you are a stinker...

I don't mean an adult they aren't comfortable with, I mean like come to a family gathering & make no eye contact & say hi to no one even when spoken to (except other children), ignore a waitress that asks if they want a drink...etc. I am alllllll for not making a child hug Aunt Millie let's say....because I don't think you can infringe on their space that way. I am wondering how it will serve a child well not to teach them social graces though & to me, ignoring adults that are being respectful & polite is actually handicapping that child whether they realize it or not.... If that makes more sense. I am having a really hard time articulating this..... BLEH. I have a sister that is (more so was) VERY painfully shy & my BFF growing up was as well - it was a HUGE handicap in their lives & even they will admit that. I am wondering about helping a child with this so that it doesn't hurt them....like other kids thinking they are stuck up (and reacting accordingly) adults thinking they are rude(and again not bonding with them as a result since it is hard to bond with a child that won't acknowledge you are even speaking), etc, etc. It DOES hurt them, you cannot convince me otherwise when I have watched it. I don't think you can make a shy person not shy - but I think ALL personality types have weaknesses & as parents is it not our responsibility to help our children work on the weaknesses within that personality type & to encourage the strengths in that personality type too? I guess I see that as just good parenting.
If they are that shy, then it might be wise for the parent to start reading up on "shyness" and start thinking about looking into the possibility that their child has a social anxiety disorder.
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  #13  
October 16th, 2009, 07:32 AM
fluffycheeks's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brie View Post
I think being "shy" or introverted is a personality type. I have an undergraduate and graduate degree in psychology and from everything I have studied changing someone's personality is very, very, VERY difficult - and most times not needed. My 3.5 y-o dd is shy around most adults she is not familiar with - dh and I are the exact opposite - we're both quite extroverted. Ironically, I won a free reading with a psychic before Bella was born and the psychic actually said our child was going to be shy, she knew dh and I were extroverted, and said we shouldn't try to change her LOL - not that I would have anyway. Maybe there are things you can do to booster their confidence at later ages but if that doesn't change their shyness I don't think you should push it. If someone tried to make me less extroverted I know it would make me miserable. I don't think shyness is a negative thing - I know many shy people that I admire a great deal. And I don't think I'll have to worry about Bella going off with strangers willingly. As a kid I was always talking to strangers.
I have my psych degree as well, and I disagree with you. Being shy and introverted are not the same thing, although it's a common misconception. Shyness is usually more of a confidence issue, while introversion is a preference for being alone as opposed to being with groups of people. Extroverts can be shy and introverts can be outgoing. While I agree that you can't change someone's personality, like turning them from an introvert to an extrovert, you can help them overcome their shyness and confidence issues. I was a great example of this. As a kid, I was painfully shy to the point my mom was worried about it. She enrolled me at a young age in drama classes at a local theater and gently encouraged non-threatening interaction with adults, such as sending me into the store to buy a loaf of bread, etc. And it totalyl worked. I'm not the least bit shy today, and while I may have grown out of it on my own, I do think the encouragement my mom gave me definitely helped. And if you ask a group of very shy people, I think most of them would agree that their shyness IS a negative thing. I think most adults that are painfully shy wish they could overcome it, but they often lack the confidence. Again, don't confuse this with introversion, because I think most introverts that are not painfully shy are completely comfortable with their introversion.
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  #14  
October 16th, 2009, 08:10 AM
glasscandie's Avatar What I make is what I am
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I don't know what you would do about it, but growing up a cousin I was very close to (we were best friends, she was only a few months older than me) was PAINFULLY shy. Like, wouldn't talk to other people, wouldn't ask a salesperson for something if she needed it, she always made her mom do it (my aunt). I remember even as a kid getting so annoyed, because inevitably whenever we were out I had to take charge of everything - and I'm not even an extrovert by nature either.

I have no idea what to do about it, but I know facilitating like my aunt did was probably not the best idea. I don't think it was until she was in college that she really started to take control of her shyness, and that's probably b/c her mom wasn't around.
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  #15  
October 16th, 2009, 10:14 AM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Originally Posted by Tammyjh View Post
If they are that shy, then it might be wise for the parent to start reading up on "shyness" and start thinking about looking into the possibility that their child has a social anxiety disorder.
I think my sister DEFINITELY has this. As an adult she has been dx with an anxiety disorder. She was over 30 by then though.
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B - Crazy momma to my two boys
We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
Don't wait to make your son a great man - make him a great boy. ~Author Unknown
You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. ~Erich Fromm
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~William Makepeace Thackeray
God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers. ~Jewish Proverb
The best conversations with mothers always take place in silence, when only the heart speaks. ~Carrie Latet




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  #16  
October 16th, 2009, 12:08 PM
TheOtherMichelle's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm both shy and introverted, and I think it would have made me more upset if an adult had pushed me as a child (heck it would make me upset now). Of course I'm not painfully shy as some of the other examples listed. I have no problem asking for help in a store but I have an extremely difficult time striking up a conversation in a social situation.

In my case I already feel bad enough about being shy (and felt the same as a kid) so someone pushing would just make me feel worse.
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  #17  
October 16th, 2009, 03:32 PM
Tammyjh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beck12 View Post
I think my sister DEFINITELY has this. As an adult she has been dx with an anxiety disorder. She was over 30 by then though.
Same here. My parents thought I was "just shy". And in their defense, years ago, there wasn't as much information out there on anxiety disorders like there is today. I was over 30 when I started really dealing with it as well. Now I find socializing much easier but its still "work" in a sense.
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  #18  
October 17th, 2009, 09:33 AM
JustBecca's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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My middle DD is incredibly shy. She rarely talks. She only answers people in a VERY quiet whisper and that is if she answers them at all. She will not start a conversation with anyone...including DH and I. She will just stare at you until you ask her what she wants...and then we get a quiet whisper. At school she will never raise her hand to answer a question and if the teacher calls on her it is a quiet whisper. The only thing that I can think of doing is telling her that I can not hear her and ask her to repeat it over and over again. There is a book called Louder Lilly that we were reading to her...didn't work. She sings at church and it is so quiet that you can not hear it unless they turn the mic up really high.

I am not sure what to do about it but I am not sure that it would be a good idea to try to "make" her change.
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