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Should bars serve pregnant women?


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  #1  
October 19th, 2009, 04:48 AM
SusieQ2's Avatar Jersey Girl
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Should bars serve alcohol to an obviously pregnant woman or should they refuse?


A few years ago I went to a friend's wedding. Her cousin was there and was about 8 months pregnant (I just ran into her so that's what made me think of this). During cocktail hour she sat at the bar and had several drinks. It wasn't just a glass of wine either. I remember her having at least one martini, an Amaretto sour and at least one other drink. I was sitting right next to her so I know she wasn't ordering any kind of virgin drinks.

People all over the room were giving her dirty looks but she didn't care and the bartender didn't care either I guess.

If you were a bartender would you serve an obviously pregnant woman several rounds of alcohol?
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  #2  
October 19th, 2009, 04:59 AM
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As far as I know, a woman still has discretion over what she wants to put in her body. So, yes, even though I may not agree with it. When other people start deciding what a pregnant woman should or should not intake, it gets scary. What if a cashier suddenly decided that a pregnant woman didn't need the Doritos? Or the cold lunch meat? Or the hair cutter decided they wouldn't cut her hair b/c of the fumes?
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  #3  
October 19th, 2009, 05:04 AM
SusieQ2's Avatar Jersey Girl
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I agree with you. I'd really have a hard time serving her though if that were my job. I'd know that legally I couldn't really deny her and that it's not my place to deny her but I'd still feel guilty for serving her something that could hurt her baby.
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  #4  
October 19th, 2009, 05:40 AM
AtomicMama's Avatar CopperBoom!
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Actually, as a server/bartender/establishment that serves alcohol you have the right to deny serving alcohol to anyone. Saturday night, I refused to serve a girl more than 3 shots on her 21st birthday (at the end of a long bar crawl, when she was visibly intoxicated). I guess not serving a pregnant woman is somewhat different as it is not an issue of over intoxication. I do, however, have a hard time enabling dangerous behavior. When I was working at a coffee shop, I had a father insist on buying his 6 year old son a drink with 3 shots of espresso in it so that the boy would stay awake with him on the drive to vacation. I pulled decaf espresso shots instead. I guess it wasn't really my place, though. So in the situation you are referencing, I might have served her a glass or wine, or even her first drink, despite my own thoughts, but after that I would be very hesitant.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SusieQ2 View Post
I agree with you. I'd really have a hard time serving her though if that were my job. I'd know that legally I couldn't really deny her and that it's not my place to deny her but I'd still feel guilty for serving her something that could hurt her baby.
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  #5  
October 19th, 2009, 05:52 AM
foxfire_ga79
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No I don't think bartenders should deny it completely. I fall in the camp that thinks it's Ok to drink moderate amounts occasionally during pregnancy. When I was pregnant with DS#2 we went to Longhorn and I ordered a Mudslide. The waitress looked shocked and hesitant and I just said "one won't hurt anything."
I think maybe though that, like bartenders will refuse to serve someone who seems overly drunk, maybe they could draw the line sooner with a pregnant woman. I don't think going as far as getting tipsy falls under "moderate" so maybe they could give her just a few drinks and then cut her off. No sense going too far with it.
Let's face it, pregnant or not sometimes you just need a drink. And I think everybody of a legal age is entitled to have that drink.
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  #6  
October 19th, 2009, 05:54 AM
Jarheadwed's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheHappyM. View Post
Actually, as a server/bartender/establishment that serves alcohol you have the right to deny serving alcohol to anyone. Saturday night, I refused to serve a girl more than 3 shots on her 21st birthday (at the end of a long bar crawl, when she was visibly intoxicated). I guess not serving a pregnant woman is somewhat different as it is not an issue of over intoxication. I do, however, have a hard time enabling dangerous behavior. When I was working at a coffee shop, I had a father insist on buying his 6 year old son a drink with 3 shots of espresso in it so that the boy would stay awake with him on the drive to vacation. I pulled decaf espresso shots instead. I guess it wasn't really my place, though. So in the situation you are referencing, I might have served her a glass or wine, or even her first drink, despite my own thoughts, but after that I would be very hesitant.
I don't blame you one bit for sneaking the decaf in! That's terrible- I am a grown woman and three shots of espresso would make me hurl, let alone a six year old.
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  #7  
October 19th, 2009, 05:55 AM
foxfire_ga79
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I don't think I've ever had espresso, what is it? I thought it was coffee or something....
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  #8  
October 19th, 2009, 06:05 AM
SusieQ2's Avatar Jersey Girl
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Quote:
Originally Posted by foxfire_ga79 View Post
I don't think I've ever had espresso, what is it? I thought it was coffee or something....
It is coffee but it's very very strong coffee, much stronger than regular coffee. Three shots of espresso would most likely make a 6 year old very shaky from all of that caffeine.
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  #9  
October 19th, 2009, 06:19 AM
foxfire_ga79
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Yikes!!!
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  #10  
October 19th, 2009, 06:27 AM
Nekinna2402's Avatar Anniken <3 Tanja
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Honestly?
Yes i would deny her the drinks, she is basically feeding her fetus alkohol by doing that many drinks.
What you put into your body goes into your childs body, and we all know nobody would (SHOULD anyway) never feed an infant alkohol from a bottle (or BF intoxicated)

I think if you are pregnant, you should be mature enough to be able to go the 9 months not drinking.
waiting till after you have given birth won't kill you!

I hate hearing pregnant womendrinking (or smoking).

Just like you would not serve anyone under 21 (or 19 or 18. depending on the age limits where you live) how is denying someone who is carrying a child any worse?

Also another question for the ones who reply to think about...
Would you as a bartender serve a women or man who is holding a newborn child/toddler and let them have many rounds of drinks?
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  #11  
October 19th, 2009, 06:32 AM
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If a grown woman wants to drink alcohol early/late in her pregnancy, then that's her business. I think it's wrong, but I wouldn't stop her if I was a bartender.
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  #12  
October 19th, 2009, 06:33 AM
fluffycheeks's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OceanChild View Post
As far as I know, a woman still has discretion over what she wants to put in her body. So, yes, even though I may not agree with it. When other people start deciding what a pregnant woman should or should not intake, it gets scary. What if a cashier suddenly decided that a pregnant woman didn't need the Doritos? Or the cold lunch meat? Or the hair cutter decided they wouldn't cut her hair b/c of the fumes?
I totally agree with you. It should be the mom's bad choice to drink. Plus, if we start making laws that the bartenders are forbidden to give a drink to a pregnant woman, could they then be held accountable if the baby comes out with any disabilities related to the mom's drinking? Also, I have known at least one woman that looks perma-pregnant. How akward for her to be constantly asked if she is pregnant any time she wants a drink.

Quote:
Originally Posted by foxfire_ga79 View Post
No I don't think bartenders should deny it completely. I fall in the camp that thinks it's Ok to drink moderate amounts occasionally during pregnancy. When I was pregnant with DS#2 we went to Longhorn and I ordered a Mudslide. The waitress looked shocked and hesitant and I just said "one won't hurt anything."
I think maybe though that, like bartenders will refuse to serve someone who seems overly drunk, maybe they could draw the line sooner with a pregnant woman. I don't think going as far as getting tipsy falls under "moderate" so maybe they could give her just a few drinks and then cut her off. No sense going too far with it.
Let's face it, pregnant or not sometimes you just need a drink. And I think everybody of a legal age is entitled to have that drink.
I 10000% disagree with you and think it is completely dangerous to drink while pregnant, as no amount of alcohol consumption has proven to be safe during pregnancy. Until "they" can tell us that X amount of alcohol is safe during pregnancy, I think it's completely irresponsible to consume any. Pregnant women need to find another way to unwind, but that is a different debate....
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  #13  
October 19th, 2009, 06:47 AM
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I might say something to her... like how theres a warning on the side of the carton of cigarettes. I might just say " warning consuming alcohol while pregnant may cause or contribute to birth defects". But then I would continue to serve her. I just couldn't do it without warning her though.
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  #14  
October 19th, 2009, 06:49 AM
aussiemummy
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I wouldn't serve her. There should be laws against that.
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  #15  
October 19th, 2009, 08:02 AM
lizard's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I don't agree with p/g women drinking, but how is it fair to deny serving someone just because they LOOK p/g? When I was 7 months p/g with my DS, I could have still very easily hidden that I was p/g by just wearing a loose fitting shirt (I didn't really start getting a bump till I was about 5 months p/g)...I was very p/g, but if you didn't know me, then you wouldn't have been able to really say for sure. On the other side, I knew someone who had a large mass that had grown in their stomach. If they would have worn a t-shirt, it would have looked like they were very much p/g when they weren't. What about someone who just had a child? After all, you don't lose the entire p/g belly instantaneously.

How sure would they have to be that a woman was p/g in order to refuse to serve based solely on that?
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  #16  
October 19th, 2009, 11:01 AM
Emm17's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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*sigh* unfortunately, like smoking, a women has the right to choose. I dont think a bar should be able to deny, no.

I dont agree with it though. Baby should ALWAYS be first priority.
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  #17  
October 19th, 2009, 11:06 AM
Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OceanChild View Post
As far as I know, a woman still has discretion over what she wants to put in her body. So, yes, even though I may not agree with it. When other people start deciding what a pregnant woman should or should not intake, it gets scary. What if a cashier suddenly decided that a pregnant woman didn't need the Doritos? Or the cold lunch meat? Or the hair cutter decided they wouldn't cut her hair b/c of the fumes?



Seriously. This isn't a police state and I like having autonomy over my own body, pregnant or not, thank you.
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  #18  
October 19th, 2009, 11:21 AM
AMDG's Avatar Margaret
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I think it it should be up to the individual establishment. I believe a bar should be able to serve or deny service to anybody they choose. I think the government should stay out of it. Just as I think allowing or banning smoking should be up to the individual business owner.
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  #19  
October 19th, 2009, 11:47 AM
foxfire_ga79
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Why is drinking being compared to smoking? Those things are not even remotely similar. Nobody should smoke, pregnant or not. 1 cigarette a day is way worse than 1 drink a day could ever think about being. Drinking does not affect the people around you like smoking does.
Implying that drinking is on the same danger level as smoking is comparing apples and oranges.
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  #20  
October 19th, 2009, 11:59 AM
AMDG's Avatar Margaret
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Quote:
Originally Posted by foxfire_ga79 View Post
Why is drinking being compared to smoking? Those things are not even remotely similar. Nobody should smoke, pregnant or not. 1 cigarette a day is way worse than 1 drink a day could ever think about being. Drinking does not affect the people around you like smoking does.
Implying that drinking is on the same danger level as smoking is comparing apples and oranges.

Are you referring to my post? I mentioned just as an example of something the government has determined it can decide for individual business owners. It wasn't meant to compare the dangers of the two drugs at all but rather give another instance in which the government has stepped in. I don't think the government should tell a business owner that he has to allow or prohibit pregnant women to drink OR smoke. It isn't about the drug it is about the rights of business owners.
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