[(.Y.)mom2dd(.Y.)]

Widgets - Twifans

Ok.. so when Britney Spears was 17 and grown men would talk sexual about her, I would vomit a little in my mouth and really look down at those guys. My dh was of the same mindset so I thought only dirty men would look at her like that. Fast forward to 2009 when this little guy is 17 and is on the cover of very magazine.. So does that make me a dirty woman or what? (I can take it! LOL!)

Seriously, do you think it's the same or a double standard? What's your take at looking at a 17 year old boy in a way that makes you blush?

[mama_reese]

Well, considering he's only a year younger than me... I don't think I would be considered "dirty" lol! But I think that there is def. a double standard between men and woman and this kind of thing. I'm not entirely sure why, I guess I'll have to think about it and get back to you.

[Jess is Write]

LOL!!! There is definitely a double standard. Sexy cougar vs. dirty old man. I'm okay with it though because it's one of the few times women can be sexual without being labeled something negative.

[(.Y.)mom2dd(.Y.)]

Originally Posted by mama_reese

Well, considering he's only a year younger than me... I don't think I would be considered "dirty" lol! But I think that there is def. a double standard between men and woman and this kind of thing. I'm not entirely sure why, I guess I'll have to think about it and get back to you.

I've been thinking about this for a long time and trying to pin point aspects of this. Secretly I think I've even put off seeing this movie because of this issue. It's bothering me for sure!

Originally Posted by Jess is Write

LOL!!! There is definitely a double standard. Sexy cougar vs. dirty old man. I'm okay with it though because it's one of the few times women can be sexual without being labeled something negative.

Hmm.. sexy cougar eh? I've read lots of negative attachment to that term.. but I'm really glad you brought it up because your right about it being more accepted.. Should it?

[Jess is Write]

Originally Posted by (.Y.)mom2dd(.Y.)

I've been thinking about this for a long time and trying to pin point aspects of this. Secretly I think I've even put off seeing this movie because of this issue. It's bothering me for sure!


Hmm.. sexy cougar eh? I've read lots of negative attachment to that term.. but I'm really glad you brought it up because your right about it being more accepted.. Should it?

I think in pop culture, being a "cougar" is definitely portrayed as being a good thing. Stifler's mom; Courtney Cox in Cougar Town; there used to be a commercial about guys trying to get the attention of older women in a bar. There's that theory that women hit their sexual peak much later than men, so an ideal sexual relationship would be an 18-year-old male with a late-thirties female.

[Nekinna2402]

He's the same age as me so free play for me J/K


I do think there is a double standard for sure there...
how i feel about it? no clue really i actually don't think i'd really care to daye someone younger than me (same with shorter. one of many odd mental blocks i got lol)

I will have to try and actually think of a good way to put my feelings down about it whenever i have had more than 3 hours of sleep

[blondie-lox]

I think the difference may be that women generally aren't visualizing doing sexual acts with these young men. It's more for fun and the eye candy thing. Where as those men who are after younger women are kind of dirty and are most likely thinking about doing sexual acts with the woman.

I always think of it as similar as the male and female strippers. The men who go to female strippers because it turns them on, where as women who go to the male strippers *usually* go for fun, and have a good time, its a big joke. KWIM?

[diet_a&w]

I agree with Laurel. I also can recognize that it is a double standard and you know, I think it's okay. There are double standards all the time that everyone accepts, why not one that empowers women. Case in point, when my sister was a teen, my parents never let her hang out with all her guy friends alone. They said that it looks bad. My brother, 14, just went to a concert with all girls and nothing was thought of it.

It may not be *right* and I do think there are neg and positive aspects of it. Cougar is hypersexual. But she also knows what she wants and goes after it.

I think he's a yummy piece of eye candy and I'm okay looking at him :P

[chlodoll]

I don't see a problem with it either way. Being attracted to someone who is attractive is not controlled by their age. They aren't anymore or less attractive the day before or the day after their 18th birthday.

[mama_reese]

Originally Posted by blondie-lox

I think the difference may be that women generally aren't visualizing doing sexual acts with these young men. It's more for fun and the eye candy thing. Where as those men who are after younger women are kind of dirty and are most likely thinking about doing sexual acts with the woman.

I always think of it as similar as the male and female strippers. The men who go to female strippers because it turns them on, where as women who go to the male strippers *usually* go for fun, and have a good time, its a big joke. KWIM?

Thats exactly right... I agree!

[chlodoll]

If you are not thinking sexual thoughts than what are you thinking? lol I think its still turning you on.

[sharethissmile2]

I females are just considered to be way more emotional and vulnerable about sex than males are. Any guy I've ever talked to about it considers a female teacher getting it on with a male student to be a victimless crime...as long as the teacher is hot of course.

[TheOtherMichelle]

I don't know about the double standard, but I think it shows how strange we are in assigning such importance to a number.

And yes, he is a beautiful piece of eye candy. I'm too young to be a cougar but I'm definitely too old for him (not to mention married) hehehe..

[Keskes]

I do think it's a double standard, but as Laurel suggested there's a difference. We say things like "he's so yummy, I just wanna eat him alive." Guys say things that I would get banned for typing here. Guys I've heard talk about teen females are far more vulgar and explicit than women I've heard talking about teen males. Obviously this isn't always the case (i.e. the blonde chick from Sex in the City, lol), but it's the average. At least in my experience.

Plus, there's the porn industry, that markets the idea of underage girls and older men. An older women is rarely seen in porn flicks because younger women are generally considered "sexier" by the male population. So guys might think of Britney Spears in terms of porn, and we think of Taylor Lautner in terms of simple eye candy.

Regardless, it IS a double standard.

[Lilmom]

Meh I never thought it was gross when guys were drooling over a 17 year old brittany or whoever. I think it's normal as long as the girl has matured physically for guys to be attracted to her. Now if the female in question looked like a 10 year old, that would be gross but brittany did NOT look 10. What would be really wrong is if they acted on it.

[Wolfmama09]

well, I'm 5 years older than him lol. Not exactly "cougar worthy" lol. That being said I do think there is a small double standard but then again age is just a number.

[SusieQ2]

LOL I've said several times that every time I see a picture of him with no shirt on I feel like a dirty old lady for enjoying what I'm looking at!

[Wolfmama09]

lol, don't look at the avatar...now I feel like a dirty old woman....
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oh well LOL.

[(.Y.)mom2dd(.Y.)]

I don't know.. the double standard is not sitting well with me. It bothers me we are sitting here laughing at it because deep down, I'm wondering if we are as guilty of objectifying this guy that isn't respectful to him as a person as men have done to teenage girls for years. Man, if his mom was a teenage mother, we'd be about the same age!

[Wolfmama09]

I'll be honest when I went to see New Moon, it was 10 pm. There were a few teens there but they were not the Majority. Most people were in their 20's or older(definitely older than 18). When Jacob (TL) came onto screen with his shirt off ... well everybody let out the ooooo and awwwwws. i tend to go with the more eyecandy thing rather than the turning you on. I agree it is a double standard. If a guy teacher has sex with a student he is a pedophile, etc. If a woman teacher has sex with her student, he wanted it,etc.