[frgsonmysox]

I won't lie, this one is being brought up because of something someone said to me on another board. But I am secure in my decisions, and promise to try to not get offended

What do you think of someone having kids with medical issues in the family - that may hinder parenting slightly (a physical disability) or may get passed on?

[foxfire_ga79]

Live your life and have the family you want. If your ability to parent is hindered, make sure you have the support of your husband and family. Even a woman that's completely able bodied and sound minded isn't expected to do 100% of the parenting herself so why should someone with a handicap be judged to a higher level?
If it's something that could get passed on, well if you've got it and you're living life to the fullest then why wouldn't your child be able to do the same IF they even inherited it at all?
Why do "normal" people have to act like disabled people can't cope and live good lives? That's so irritating.

[Tammyjh]

Originally Posted by foxfire_ga79

Live your life and have the family you want. If your ability to parent is hindered, make sure you have the support of your husband and family. Even a woman that's completely able bodied and sound minded isn't expected to do 100% of the parenting herself so why should someone with a handicap be judged to a higher level?
If it's something that could get passed on, well if you've got it and you're living life to the fullest then why wouldn't your child be able to do the same IF they even inherited it at all?
Why do "normal" people have to act like disabled people can't cope and live good lives? That's so irritating.

And you already know my opinion on what that harpy said to you. Nosy little bisnatch needs to go suck a sour apple and shut it. Ahem.

[Augie]

I agree. I see no problem with it. Personally, I have a genetic disorder that puts me at risk for stroke, clots, and some other nasty things. Many of my aunts and uncles have had cancer so that's in the lines too. So is diabetes. But really, everyone has SOMETHING that can cause an issue for them or for their child. I'm not going to deny myself and my husband the right to be a parents on the chance that something *might* happen.

[**Badfish**]

Originally Posted by foxfire_ga79

Live your life and have the family you want. If your ability to parent is hindered, make sure you have the support of your husband and family. Even a woman that's completely able bodied and sound minded isn't expected to do 100% of the parenting herself so why should someone with a handicap be judged to a higher level?
If it's something that could get passed on, well if you've got it and you're living life to the fullest then why wouldn't your child be able to do the same IF they even inherited it at all?
Why do "normal" people have to act like disabled people can't cope and live good lives? That's so irritating.

This.

[Emm17]

I agree with fox fire. If you have the support to make it happen....then do it.

[SweetSimpleThings]

Yeah, pretty much what foxfire says....

And I don't know the original story, but probably what Andrika said too

[foxfire_ga79]

Got a link so we can see what Andrika's talking about?

[frgsonmysox]

This was the post, copy and pasted

"That is right Beth, hide behind Susan some more. Are you going to call on her when you need someone to raise you babies since you are too sick? Yeah, you read that correctly. I think it EXTREMELY selfish and irresponsible for you to continuing having babies KNOWING full well that you have a health condition that one day may cause you to not be able to care for them properly or you could also pass it on to them! :-X What is going to happen then Beth? Please do tell."

Susan and I were in a heated debate about politics (Susan and I agreeing, three ladies disagreeing). Susan called her on her BS, I told Susan I'd have sex with her if I had a penis, this was the other girls reply

Originally Posted by Augie

I agree. I see no problem with it. Personally, I have a genetic disorder that puts me at risk for stroke, clots, and some other nasty things. Many of my aunts and uncles have had cancer so that's in the lines too. So is diabetes. But really, everyone has SOMETHING that can cause an issue for them or for their child. I'm not going to deny myself and my husband the right to be a parents on the chance that something *might* happen.

That was pretty much my reply - that everyone has something in their family.

[foxfire_ga79]

Wow, sounds like she's still pissed that someone dropped a house on her sister.

[Augie]

Originally Posted by frgsonmysox

This was the post, copy and pasted

"That is right Beth, hide behind Susan some more. Are you going to call on her when you need someone to raise you babies since you are too sick? Yeah, you read that correctly. I think it EXTREMELY selfish and irresponsible for you to continuing having babies KNOWING full well that you have a health condition that one day may cause you to not be able to care for them properly or you could also pass it on to them! :-X What is going to happen then Beth? Please do tell."

Wow! *hugs* Please tell me that was reported.

[zzz]

I don't think it's any of my business. If someone has a good support system, then why not? No person on this great green earth is 100% healthy and free of any ailments or things they could pass on to their kids. So are we just not supposed to have babies? Only the person with the medical issue knows how sick they are and what their limits are.

The only time I do admit I pass judgement is when someone with a chronic, fatal illness tries to have a child. I know someone that has MS and is fairly far along in the disease process, yet him and his wife adopted a baby. Why they were given a child, I'm not sure... but MS is fatal and non-curable. I don't think it's fair for the baby they adopted to 1. have to see his daddy go through the challenges of sometimes not being able to walk properly at the least, and 2. will have to see him die a very horrible, non-dignified death before he graduates high school. But then it's still a toss up, because I don't believe he should necessarily be denied the right to be a parent either.

Live and let live, in my opinion.


Lisa

[Elena]

I'm going to ditto foxfire and the other ladies in this thread. That comment made to you Beth was just so far out of line! I too hope the person was reported, sheesh.

[Banned-Mommiex2]

The *only* time I would state that a mom shouldn't TTC with a disability is if their disability puts them so far out of reality that they can't begin to comprehend taking care of a child. There are some people that are mentally the age of a child yet physically the age of an adult. If they really can't understand how to take care of a child then they really shouldn't have one.

Other than that, people make it work. There are people without limbs that make it work, I don't see why you wouldn't be able to make it work.

As far as the comments, politics gets heated and personal. I am still appauled at some of the things that happened to me after the political boards were shut down. Some people take this stuff very personally. It's the internet. You don't really know who you are dealing with.

[Kalia20]

As long as the child(ren) is well taken care of, healthy, has a roof, food, clothes, and parents that love them, it doesnt matter to me. Having a disability doesnt prevent many parents from their responsibilities and loving their kids. If theres a will, theres a way.

[sharethissmile2]

Originally Posted by Lisa*G

I don't think it's any of my business. If someone has a good support system, then why not? No person on this great green earth is 100% healthy and free of any ailments or things they could pass on to their kids. So are we just not supposed to have babies? Only the person with the medical issue knows how sick they are and what their limits are.

The only time I do admit I pass judgement is when someone with a chronic, fatal illness tries to have a child. I know someone that has MS and is fairly far along in the disease process, yet him and his wife adopted a baby. Why they were given a child, I'm not sure... but MS is fatal and non-curable. I don't think it's fair for the baby they adopted to 1. have to see his daddy go through the challenges of sometimes not being able to walk properly at the least, and 2. will have to see him die a very horrible, non-dignified death before he graduates high school. But then it's still a toss up, because I don't believe he should necessarily be denied the right to be a parent either.

Live and let live, in my opinion.


Lisa

I don't mean to go off subject but I just wanted to comment on this. Multiple Sclerosis is rarely fatal and there is little evidence that it's hereditary. My mom was diagnosed with MS when she was 25 and has had three healthy children since then. The vast majority of people who have MS lead normal lives.

[zzz]

I know personally 2 people with MS and both have been told that their diseases will kill them. There have been advances in delaying the effects lately, but as I said in my post, he is pretty far along in the disease process and some days cannot walk. Sometimes he can go through his day like normal, but then his body just halts and he cannot pick himself up off the floor, and is in pain more often than not. He has gotten progressively worse over the years and his Dr's say that it is not reversible. I realize the disease is different for everyone, and some people can live relatively normal, long lives, but not always.

I was just giving that as an example since I knew of that one specific situation - it could be any fatal, incurable disease like cystic fibrosis, aids, etc.


Lisa

[Jarheadwed]

The only times I would personally say its not a great idea is with Huntington's or Tay Sachs, diseases like those. Otherwise, who has perfect genes? My DH has an incredibly strong genetic link to alcoholism, and we're still having kids. Its not the same as a disability such as MS, per se, but I guess its still a "genetic disadvantage."

[Lilmom]

Love is all you need.

...

A little money doesn't hurt either