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The question for me becomes about the medium through which they complain. When they post on JM, do you use that opportunity to complain about their children? Is she home with her children all day every day, and at girls' night once a month, she complains?
Maybe she doesn't get many opportunities to vent, and when she does then venting is more emotionally beneficial to her than telling about the wonderful things her kids did.
I think it's normal to complain every once in awhile, mothers are human, children are human, and sometimes things aren't all rosey. But if someone is constantly complaining, never has anything good to say, etc. then I feel really sad for them that they are missing out on enjoying one of the biggest blessings in their lives. I know my children bring me so much joy every day and it's really sad if someone is missing out on that in their lives. Even if there are challenges with disabilities, or the person never wanted children, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. I'm not saying you can never be realistic, get discouraged or frustrated, just try to see the good things that are there too.
I think it's normal to complain every once in awhile, mothers are human, children are human, and sometimes things aren't all rosey. But if someone is constantly complaining, never has anything good to say, etc. then I feel really sad for them that they are missing out on enjoying one of the biggest blessings in their lives. I know my children bring me so much joy every day and it's really sad if someone is missing out on that in their lives. Even if there are challenges with disabilities, or the person never wanted children, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. I'm not saying you can never be realistic, get discouraged or frustrated, just try to see the good things that are there too.
Nice post
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Nothing is better than being with your family. Finally reunited after 5 long months <3
I know a woman who is 37 and she complains about everything all the time.
She has an 8 year old son and EVERY Friday evening she takes him to his grandparents house and he stays ALL weekend with his grandparents.
She doesn't work and she acts like she NEVER gets a break from him.Even when he's in school!I don't understand this at all.....
I know a woman who is 37 and she complains about everything all the time.
She has an 8 year old son and EVERY Friday evening she takes him to his grandparents house and he stays ALL weekend with his grandparents.
She doesn't work and she acts like she NEVER gets a break from him.Even when he's in school!I don't understand this at all.....
She doesnt' get a break? How about every weekend?
I'm a SAHM of two little kids and I rarely get a break. Maybe once a month or every few months. And it isn't for long. Yet I don't constantly complain, I love my life.
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Nothing is better than being with your family. Finally reunited after 5 long months <3
I know a few people who complain about their children all the time. Talking about how they can't wait until they grow up and how they annoy them all day etc etc...I don't understand it.
Do you know anyone like this?
I definitely do...they have children with adhd/odd/ocd/aspergers etc. Children who ever moment of the day is spent disciplining, when just getting them ready for school/daycare leaves them tired and fustrated because everything is a fight from what they will eat, to getting out of bed, brushing their teeth etc. When going to the park always ends with their child pushing/hurting/hitting another child. When they constantly gets calls from the school. When they have done everything they can to be consistant, and they don't understand why their child can't behave for just one day.
Yes I know people like this, I understand them and I forgive them, and I sit there and I listen to them complain because it helps.
I definitely do...they have children with adhd/odd/ocd/aspergers etc. Children who ever moment of the day is spent disciplining, when just getting them ready for school/daycare leaves them tired and fustrated because everything is a fight from what they will eat, to getting out of bed, brushing their teeth etc. When going to the park always ends with their child pushing/hurting/hitting another child. When they constantly gets calls from the school. When they have done everything they can to be consistant, and they don't understand why their child can't behave for just one day.
Yes I know people like this, I understand them and I forgive them, and I sit there and I listen to them complain because it helps.
LOL. Oh my, that sounds so familiar... We can't even complain because our friends and family simply don't get it.
That's different. Of course if you have a child with a disability/illness you're going to probably be more frustrated than a mother with 'normal' children. I hate that word, what's the correct term?
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Nothing is better than being with your family. Finally reunited after 5 long months <3
Yeah, but that's the thing: we're not "supposed to" complain because our children have no control over their disability. We're supposed to be even more blissful and serene, lest we be accused of not accepting our children the way they are.
Last edited by Tofu Bacon; June 10th, 2010 at 08:28 PM.
That's different. Of course if you have a child with a disability/illness you're going to probably be more frustrated than a mother with 'normal' children. I hate that word, what's the correct term?
Yeah, but that's the thing: we're not "supposed to" complain because our children have no control over their disability. We're supposed to be even more blissful and serene, lest we be accused of not accepting our children the way they are.
I've mentioned on CNTV but I have to urge you to go on the FB. (You could be Cori Autism mom) because I'm friends with lots of families on the spectrum. Martial problems, behavioral issues and more are posted. Love, compassion, understanding, and shoulders to cry on are there with these like-minded families. You can post "this day sucked" and you'll get so many "I totally understand, vent away" type responses with love and hugs. I just want you (and others) to get the support you really need hon.
(It's a huge part of why I didn't post in this thread before your post.)
Yeah, but that's the thing: we're not "supposed to" complain because our children have no control over their disability. We're supposed to be even more blissful and serene, lest we be accused of not accepting our children the way they are.
Nodding in agreement. And you described me to a T ~ "blissful and serene"
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Tammy, Mom to
Abby (19), Kacie (13), Chase (11), & Jacob (7)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "...They're supposed to make you miserable! That's why they're family!" ~ Bobby ~ Supernatural
I just tend to grant most parents some slack. Even developmentally "typical" children have their phases where every day is a battle over something from breakfast to bedtime. And some infants and toddlers are just... harder to deal with than others, for any mother.
It really just goes back to attitude for me. Is she a mother that regrets having children, or is she just thinned at the edges and desperately needs a vacation?
I'm not meaning to offend anyone, nor am I talking about children with disabilities/illnesses.
You didn't offend me either.....I was just trying to make the point that there could be valid reasons for a parent to be complaining all the time, they could be a single parent without any support, low income and always worried about making ends meet etc which makes them more easy to be irratated because they are stressed and the kids feel it and often act out. I guess for me I would first sympathize (I've seen tons of "bad" parents (abusive/neglect) and honestly never really considered them complainers of their kids because most of them were too self involved with their own issues to complain about their kids. If they are complaining about their kids--at least they are aware of them and the issues that their kids have.
