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Mothers who constantly complain about their kids


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  #1  
June 9th, 2010, 12:11 PM
*Dayna*'s Avatar Aussie Mama
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I know a few people who complain about their children all the time. Talking about how they can't wait until they grow up and how they annoy them all day etc etc...I don't understand it.

Do you know anyone like this?
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  #2  
June 9th, 2010, 12:17 PM
fluffycheeks's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Yes, I have a friend like this. She doesn't only complain about her kids though, she seems to complain about everything, so I've just come to realize that is her personalitiy. It's a bit difficult for me to be around though. I'm a pretty positive person generally, so being around people who are constantly complaining about their life kind of drains me.
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  #3  
June 9th, 2010, 12:23 PM
**Badfish**'s Avatar Worth Saving
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I know someone who does this in a blog, and it's not like a private blog. She promotes it and tries to make money off of it. It's pretty ridiculous. She calls them some pretty terrible names under the guise of "keeping it real." I couldn't be friends with someone like that.
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  #4  
June 9th, 2010, 12:28 PM
*Dayna*'s Avatar Aussie Mama
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I can't be friends with someone like that either. To see someone only talk badly about their children sickens me. My kids are a blessing, not an annoyance...but some people act like they don't even like my kids. I've had enough.
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  #5  
June 9th, 2010, 12:28 PM
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Chloe does annoy me all day...lol. But it's a good kind of annoy, you know? 'Cause I love her, and I don't care that she's obnoxious a lot, haha. It's her personality to be up my butt most of the day (like 90% of toddlers I'm guessing).

I don't complain a lot though. I say, "Omg ______(DH) your daughter wouldn't stop pestering me all dang day!".

But they're supposed to pester and get obnoxious. They're kids. It's what they do. Plus, I'm annoying and obnoxious, so at least I know where it comes from!
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  #6  
June 9th, 2010, 12:35 PM
*Dayna*'s Avatar Aussie Mama
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LOL Lauren, you're hilarious.

My kids drive me nuts somedays too...some more than others. But I love them, they're my everything.
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  #7  
June 9th, 2010, 12:46 PM
HappyHippy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I know someone who doesn't complain about her kids, but she makes plans every weekend away from her kids. Mostly partying with underage people (she is under 21 herself). She's immature.

DS1 annoys me every day. But like someone said,a good annoy.
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  #8  
June 9th, 2010, 12:51 PM
Tammyjh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chloe'sMommy View Post

But they're supposed to pester and get obnoxious. They're kids. It's what they do.
Reminds me of a line in a movie
"I'm a kid. Its my job"... in response to why he asked so many questions (Uncle Buck).
My kids do their job REAL well and I'm convinced they inherit this skill from their dad.
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  #9  
June 9th, 2010, 01:01 PM
IAmMomMomIAm
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I think there are different types of complaining. Some people will complain about their child's behavior, but it's still obvious that they actually love and want their child, but are just getting a little frayed at the edges. And then some people will complain and make you wonder why they ever had kids in the first place. And I try to cut people some slack in certain situations - I know I complain about my kids a lot when I'm sick or incredibly pregnant, for instance.
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  #10  
June 9th, 2010, 01:14 PM
chlodoll
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I think its ok to vent when needed but to complain all the time is to much. How did you think kids were going to behave? My oldest drives me crazy some days but when he isn't around I still miss him. I don't want him to grow up because that doesn't mean anything, you are always a mom, it doesn't end when they stop following you around all day and asking why why why.
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  #11  
June 9th, 2010, 01:22 PM
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I think it depends. Needing to get frustration out can sometimes be a good outlet for some moms. What about moms of children on the autism spectrum? Or moms of children with learning disabilities? They may experience frustration and need to let it out but that doesn't mean they don't want or love their children.

My daughter is a very spirited child...very spirited. She's definitely a handful and some days I just want to lock myself in the bathroom and cry. She stresses me out but I still love her to death. She's my life, my world, my everything and even the thought of not having her in my life makes me tear up. I'm allowed to feel overwhelmed and frustrated and vent if I need to about my daughter without feeling like other's think I don't love her. I just don't get why mother's have to feel they love being a mother all the time, not all moms love being a mom every minute of every day. We're human and sometimes our adorable little rug rats can make a woman feel lost.
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  #12  
June 9th, 2010, 01:25 PM
Tammyjh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jess is Write View Post
I know someone who does this in a blog, and it's not like a private blog. She promotes it and tries to make money off of it. It's pretty ridiculous. She calls them some pretty terrible names under the guise of "keeping it real." I couldn't be friends with someone like that.
You've been reading my blog???



















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  #13  
June 9th, 2010, 02:02 PM
AMDG's Avatar Margaret
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Yes! There is one magistrate that I appear in front of quite often and so we have had numerous occations to exchange in general chat. He has three children and I have never heard him say a good word about any of them. 2 are out of the house and 1 is in highschool. He says that he used to come home from work on friday and think - only 2 work days until my weekend can begin again! He says he and his wife joked about getting a divorce but neither wanted to get stuck with the kids. At first I thought it was his way of just making jokes but he says stuff like that all the time. He says he can't wait until the third is out of the house. They were nothing but trouble - a nightmere - etc etc etc.
It makes me sad. I doubt he hugs his kids or tells them that he loves them. How could you always say negative things about your kids and they NOT know that is how you feel?
Whenever I feel like complaining about my kids or lack of sleep or any of the many little annoyances I think about a) my friends who have fertility issues and would LOVE the chance to have an obnoxious 2 year old or many sleepless nights with a baby and b) my friends who have kids with special needs and have many more challenges than I do!

All that being said - I do think it is normally and healthy to vent occationally to a spouse or close friend because, as we all know, parenting is always a bundle of roses!
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  #14  
June 9th, 2010, 02:05 PM
IAmMomMomIAm
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A bundle of roses is a lovely metaphor. Some people's kids do have a lot of thorns though.
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  #15  
June 9th, 2010, 02:13 PM
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Right now the only thorn is the dog that won't leave the whiny 1 year old alone...who then comes screaming to me because the pup took her blankie.
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  #16  
June 9th, 2010, 03:46 PM
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  #17  
June 9th, 2010, 05:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jess is Write View Post
I know someone who does this in a blog, and it's not like a private blog. She promotes it and tries to make money off of it. It's pretty ridiculous. She calls them some pretty terrible names under the guise of "keeping it real." I couldn't be friends with someone like that.
Yuck.


I understand frustration and the need to vent, but I don't understand how people can be annoyed to the point of complaining ALL THE TIME about their kids. Seems like a lack of appreciation.
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  #18  
June 10th, 2010, 08:27 AM
Tofu Bacon
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I think its sad, but at the same time, my first thought is usually "Wow, she really needs a break." I feel like in our culture there is this mentality like you're not a "good mother" unless your blissfully happy and engaged in enriching, child-friendly activities every waking moment. Kids can be majors pains in the butt at times, and mothers don't always have a safe place to vent; better to just get those negative feelings out than to internalize them until she starts turning to unhealthy coping methods. I do feel that venting on places like Facebook is inappropriate, since those are generally people who see you and your child in every day life, but I think its okay on someplace like JM because its a little more private and anonymous.

On another site, we had this on-going thread specifically for "yelling" out our frustrations there, instead of yelling at the kids. To a lurker it probably appeared that we couldn't stand our children, but it was so therapeutic to run to that thread and post "Dang it ds, what the heck possessed you to smear peanut butter all over the new carpet???!!!" The poster could vent her anger, take a deep breath, take a moment to reflect on the situation, then go return to motherhood refreshed and ready to calmly deal with the offense.
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  #19  
June 10th, 2010, 10:40 AM
SweetSimpleThings's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blondie-lox View Post
I think it depends. Needing to get frustration out can sometimes be a good outlet for some moms. What about moms of children on the autism spectrum? Or moms of children with learning disabilities? They may experience frustration and need to let it out but that doesn't mean they don't want or love their children.

My daughter is a very spirited child...very spirited. She's definitely a handful and some days I just want to lock myself in the bathroom and cry. She stresses me out but I still love her to death. She's my life, my world, my everything and even the thought of not having her in my life makes me tear up. I'm allowed to feel overwhelmed and frustrated and vent if I need to about my daughter without feeling like other's think I don't love her. I just don't get why mother's have to feel they love being a mother all the time, not all moms love being a mom every minute of every day. We're human and sometimes our adorable little rug rats can make a woman feel lost.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tofu Bacon View Post
I think its sad, but at the same time, my first thought is usually "Wow, she really needs a break." I feel like in our culture there is this mentality like you're not a "good mother" unless your blissfully happy and engaged in enriching, child-friendly activities every waking moment. Kids can be majors pains in the butt at times, and mothers don't always have a safe place to vent; better to just get those negative feelings out than to internalize them until she starts turning to unhealthy coping methods. I do feel that venting on places like Facebook is inappropriate, since those are generally people who see you and your child in every day life, but I think its okay on someplace like JM because its a little more private and anonymous.

On another site, we had this on-going thread specifically for "yelling" out our frustrations there, instead of yelling at the kids. To a lurker it probably appeared that we couldn't stand our children, but it was so therapeutic to run to that thread and post "Dang it ds, what the heck possessed you to smear peanut butter all over the new carpet???!!!" The poster could vent her anger, take a deep breath, take a moment to reflect on the situation, then go return to motherhood refreshed and ready to calmly deal with the offense.


Yes yes yes. The cult of the eternally happy mother who feels fulfilled every waking moment with her children has made actual real moms feel like we're doing something wrong if we're NOT that person.

To the original question directly, I definitely don't think people should be complaining about their kids all the time, especially not to everyone they come in contact with or in front of the kids themselves, but I think everyone has to blow off steam sometimes. The occassional "they're making me pull out my hair" is totally normal I think.
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  #20  
June 10th, 2010, 11:16 AM
*Dayna*'s Avatar Aussie Mama
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I think it is normal to complain sometimes but all the time? It just doesn't sit right with me.
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