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  #21  
June 10th, 2010, 10:13 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OliviaAlexasMom View Post
Um, I'm sorry but if she told you min. $100 a person then that is just wrong.

I can't even believe she'd say that to you. Just give what you can & don't worry about it. Tough sh*% if she doesn't like it; anything is better than nothing.
I have to ditto this because it is exactly what I was thinking!!!!
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  #22  
June 10th, 2010, 10:24 AM
unicornmagic
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I'm more of "it's the thought that counts" person in general. For our wedding a lot of friends and family pitched in with just getting it together. One friend DJed, my cousin catered, one donated his space for our reception, ect, ect. So really, I felt like our wedding was the gift from a lot of people. I was really surprised at how many people still gave us presents. I couldn't tell you what they cost, I never bothered to ask. A wedding is suppossed to be about celebrating two people be in love and pledging to be together for the rest of their lives. It's not suppossed to be about big fancy dresses, expensive gifts, bling, and being a diva. Somewhere along the way, it seems a lot of people forgot that the wedding is just a party before the marriage.
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  #23  
June 10th, 2010, 11:03 AM
SamuelsMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Geez....I should have invited a few of those people to our wedding If someone gave us $100 that would have seemed like a huge amount to me! I think most of the checks, cash, and gcs we received were around $25. It's the thought not the amount. And, what I always do on a budget is shop early and shop sales, clearance, use discounts etc to get something that is more expensive for a lot less. When you go the gift route vs. money then no one know exactly what you spent unless you do shop off the registry.

Get creative to look make it more special. Like get a basket, put in a red checked table cloth, spaghetti, pasta sacue, pamesean cheese, candle holders, candles, matches, a cd with romantic music. Or a basket with a couple DVDs, popcorn, candy, sodas, a comfy blanket...... None of those things have to be expensive if you shop smart and it looks great and cute.
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  #24  
June 10th, 2010, 11:14 AM
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I don't think wedding GIFTS are necessary. A GIFT is not a requirement.
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  #25  
June 10th, 2010, 11:31 AM
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Most of the weddings we have attended have been several years back and we gave $100 in cash or gifts at that time. If invited to the bridal shower too, I spent about another $50 on that gift-but then again-I was only invited to our closest friends showers. My sister got married last fall, but since I was in the wedding, spent money on getting there, hotels, etc I spent about the same as I had for our friends, even though she's my sister and it was more recent.

That amount seems pretty common for my area. That's what we received from most of our family/friends when we got married 8 years ago.

We also do $75-100 for a baby shower and then a small gift around $25 when baby is born.

I would never expect anyone to give any gift though. We had a few friends that had to travel far for our wedding and just gave us a card, but having them there was the most important thing to us.
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  #26  
June 10th, 2010, 11:39 AM
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In my DF's family it's more or less a requirement and I find it incredibly tacky. We have never attended a wedding for his family and given less than $200.00 (and that is almost embarassingly low compared to what his other family members give). His sister just got married last week and between the bridal shower gift, a new suit for DS (who was the ring bearer) and the actual wedding gift we spent around $500.00.

I don't think a gift should ever be required. I believe in the whole 'it's the thought that counts'.
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  #27  
June 11th, 2010, 12:34 PM
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I feel that if someone wants to bring a gift to the wedding that is fine.
Usually showers are given before the weddings.

I don't think there should be a set price on gifts.
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  #28  
June 11th, 2010, 03:34 PM
mayandsofiasmommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Depending on how close you are to them, I think $50ish is good. $100 if close, or more. I think it is tacky though when family members chip in like $25 each to get you something (happened to me). If they were not close family members, that would be different. Now, if someone really is broke, I would understand. But cheap for the sake of being cheap? Not good.
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  #29  
June 11th, 2010, 06:51 PM
3Sapphires's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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this is a good thread for me to read!

BIL is getting married and his fiancee has such champagne taste - I am opposed to buying off a registry since I don't thing people should dictate what gifts to gives.

Byt anyway, there is nothing and I mean nothing on her registry for less than $60. Even the baking dishes she registered for are $60-$80 each!

So I know she is expecting big ticket items. For her shower I got her a $15 set of canisters and christmas decorations and other christams stuff. I probably spent $30-35.

I am at a total loss for the wedding though. my oldest is the ring bearer, but neither child will be eating (jut because they are picky.

I was considering getting them from Mrs Prindables an apple a month for 6 months, but that package - while entirely useless (which I think is perfect since they are on our &*^% list) is still really pricey at $170.

So I don't know....
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  #30  
June 11th, 2010, 07:07 PM
glasscandie's Avatar What I make is what I am
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I don't think it should be a prerequisite to attending a wedding, but I can't imagine attending a wedding without giving a check. Although, no one I know seems to get married, so it's not often that we do it lol I have two cousins that have been engaged forever, with no plans of getting married it seems. I think the last wedding I attended was my own, 6 years ago. Typically we give between $100 and $150, just depends on how close we are, and if we gave a gift at a shower before the wedding.
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  #31  
June 11th, 2010, 09:25 PM
IAmMomMomIAm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ami N View Post
BIL is getting married and his fiancee has such champagne taste - I am opposed to buying off a registry since I don't thing people should dictate what gifts to gives.
That seems silly to me. The point of a registry is to avoid getting 4 blenders and 7 toasters and 6 fancy tablecloths. If only half the present buyers use it, then the bride and groom end up with stuff they already had or got from other people.

I guess I don't see the rudeness in letting people know what you already have and what you need/want.

I assume you also never ask "what do you want for your birthday/Christmas?"
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  #32  
June 11th, 2010, 09:40 PM
Lash's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I HONESTLY believe that most people nowadays have such large weddings mainly because they are banking on the payoff in the end. It's the idea that they get a 2-for-1 deal. They get to shell out money for a huge fun party, AND in return get the huge party plus bonus of a massive amount of gifts in return.
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