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Babies at a baby shower?


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  #21  
June 10th, 2010, 11:03 AM
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^^ Ditto.

Honestly I've never had anyone tell me kids weren't allowed or its an "all adult party".
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  #22  
June 10th, 2010, 11:46 AM
KimberlyD0
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No I don't think its rude so long as they know. I mean to just show up with a baby or small children and them not be ready isn't rude, but it can be hard for a hormonally unstable mom to be

My friend and I were due 2 weeks apart. I had my baby early, days before the date for her shower, 3 days later (the day of the shower) she had her son. So they moved her shower to the next weekend. So she had 2 newborns at her shower lol her's and mine. I also made sure she was ok with that, because I knew that people would be cooing over my daughter too and she and her son wouldn't have been the center of the day like they should have been. She told me to bring her anyway. I felt very uncomfortable though because the babies we the same age and really, for some strange reason, my daughter was more of a hit then her son. I think it made her feel bad I think it was because everyone was expecting her to have a girl, thats what she had told everyone. So some of those people had gone and gotten her boy stuff and they ended up giving me the girl stuff they got for her. It was a very weird place to be. While thats not normal, I can see and understand how that would be hard for some moms to be to have that attention not focused one their pregnancy or baby.

I don't think there is anything wrong with asking that no babies/children come to an event. Its the hosts choice. I wouldn't let my friend bring her 2 year old son to my Wedding because I knew he would be a distraction because of his temperment. She was upset, but she respected my choice. For the record my DD wasn't their either because she had been crying and screaming and desperatly needed a nap. So our daycare provider at the time offered to have her sleep there. This made her feel better.

Last edited by KimberlyD0; June 10th, 2010 at 11:50 AM.
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  #23  
June 10th, 2010, 12:06 PM
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If the invitation were addressed to me only and not to me/my family, then I would not bring my child of any age. If I couldn't be away from my child for whatever reason to attend the gathering, then I would decline the invitation.
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  #24  
June 10th, 2010, 12:10 PM
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Everyone who knows me in real life knows I don't go anywhere without my baby until they are at least 12 months. Anastasia was 18 months before I felt comfortable leaving her. So if they invited me I would assume they knew I was bringing my baby.
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  #25  
June 10th, 2010, 12:15 PM
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Maybe it's just me, but I'd be so taken aback if my friend that invited to me to her baby shower told me she didn't want my baby there. That would just make me go =o I don't think I would end up going. If my baby isn't welcome there then I wouldn't want to go. I understand if there's a legit reason, but if it's because the mom-to-be can't stand seeing her guests tell me that my baby is cute for 2 seconds, then I'd rather just decline.
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  #26  
June 10th, 2010, 12:15 PM
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No it's not rude. I went to some baby showers when Addyson was just born. If they didn't like it, too bad. She's my baby, I breastfed and she stayed with me.
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  #27  
June 10th, 2010, 12:46 PM
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I think what that lady (I use this word with a ton of sarcasm implied) was incredibly rude and obnoxious. I probably would have just left, to be honest. That would really really tick me off. My friend Morgan is bringing her baby to my shower next week, and I'm perfectly ok with that. Her daughter is 15 months old, and her husband is out at sea with the Navy right now.. she doesn't really have anyone to leave her with. I even plan on bringing some toys and stuff for the baby, even though I know momma will bring a ton.
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  #28  
June 10th, 2010, 01:15 PM
SamuelsMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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For a baby shower, I would think that it was ok unless otherwise specified to not bring children. However, it is probably most polite to check with the hostess first. Personally, I don't want to be taking my toddler to a baby shower anyway, each person has their own comfort level, but I don't leave my children for more than 1/2 hour until they are at least 6 months old, so if I was invited to a shower where they weren't, I would decline. I think the woman mentioned was extremely rude. If she didn't want babies at the shower it should have been specified on the invite. And even if she had specified it and someone brought their baby, there is never an excuse for that kind of behavior. One should always make the best of even dissapointing situations instead of throwing a tantrum like a spoiled brat. I'm sure it ruined her shower because she let it. And that poor other woman would have been well within her rights to collect her gift and leave. It's the right of the hostess to invite whomever they wish and exclude whoever they wish but these types of things should be made clear if you have specific wishes otherwise you get what you get.
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  #29  
June 10th, 2010, 01:46 PM
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I've gone to 2 showers since Jillian was born and I took her to both of them. I let both friends know ahead of time that I could make it to the shower but only if I could bring the baby. They both love her and it wasn't ever an issue. When I had my first shower there were several babies there. It was fine with me!

If someone wants adults only and states that I'd respect that but I wouldn't go to the shower. I BF so I wouldn't be able to leave her behind in order to go.
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  #30  
June 10th, 2010, 01:57 PM
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I don't really think it's that's rude to request people not bring their children. Not everyone wants to baby/toddler proof their house in order to throw someone a party, and many baby showers have alcohol. It would seem off to say "no toddlers, but non-mobile infants okay." It's easier to just say "no children." If that's how someone wants to throw a baby shower then fine - I don't have to go if I can't or don't want to make other arrangements. However, maybe I'm just used to it.. I get left out of family gathers somewhat frequently because I have children.
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  #31  
June 10th, 2010, 02:08 PM
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I think that the hostesses have the right to invite whoever they choose to a party, including or excluding children. If the parents don't want to go because their kids aren't invited then so be it. When it isn't clear, the parents can ask.

I am actually in this situation this weekend and just called my friend, asked if my son was welcome, she said yes. He is coming with me. I don't see the big deal with just asking. If she said no, I would have made the decision to go without him or not go.
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  #32  
June 10th, 2010, 02:13 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Keskes View Post
I don't really think it's that's rude to request people not bring their children. Not everyone wants to baby/toddler proof their house in order to throw someone a party, and many baby showers have alcohol. It would seem off to say "no toddlers, but non-mobile infants okay." It's easier to just say "no children." If that's how someone wants to throw a baby shower then fine - I don't have to go if I can't or don't want to make other arrangements. However, maybe I'm just used to it.. I get left out of family gathers somewhat frequently because I have children.
I don't think it's rude to not ask guests to bring kids. If you only want adults, then that's up to you.

If you don't mention it and get mad at me for bringing my child, too bad.
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  #33  
June 10th, 2010, 02:41 PM
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A few people have mentioned that it should be specified no children or something like that, so does that mean if it didn't say it you would assume it is okay, no matter how the invitation was addressed?
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  #34  
June 10th, 2010, 03:02 PM
SamuelsMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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If it's not specified and I was planning on bringing my child, I would ask. Baby Shower invites are a lot less formal than say a Wedding Invitation. Convention with a wedding invite is to put all the names of those invited on the inner envelope such as Mr. and Mrs. Smith and Family or Miss Smith and Guest regardless of how the outer envelope is addressed. When sending out Baby invites most people are not likely to list every person invited as there is usually no inner envelope. If I'm adressing 50 invitations, I am most likely going to address it to the woman or the couple regardless of whether the children are invited or not and inside is usually a generic invite with the time, date etc. That's why I think asking is the polite thing to do when in doubt and specifying if you want no children is likewise courteous on the part of those issuing the invitations so guests are clear. I don't think that just because the envelope is addressed only to me, that it necessarily means that children are not welcome. That just hasn't been my experience.
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  #35  
June 10th, 2010, 05:47 PM
AMDG's Avatar Margaret
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Kris~ View Post
A few people have mentioned that it should be specified no children or something like that, so does that mean if it didn't say it you would assume it is okay, no matter how the invitation was addressed?
I would assume it was okay to bring my BFing infant but I guess I know my friends. Usually you know the person who's shower you are being invited to - I've never been invited to a baby shower for someone I didn't know. If for some reason I was, I might mention with my RSVP that I have an infant and could only come with my infant. Obviously, when invited by someone I know, they would also know I have a baby.
It must just be my circle of friends - we are all super BFing friendly and baby friendly - I know that none of my friends would invite me to a shower w/o welcoming my baby. So....to answer your question - I would definitely assume unless, for some reason, I didn't know the person.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Keskes View Post
I don't really think it's that's rude to request people not bring their children. Not everyone wants to baby/toddler proof their house in order to throw someone a party, and many baby showers have alcohol. It would seem off to say "no toddlers, but non-mobile infants okay.".

I disagree. Infants require no baby proofing - they require little to no space. Infants do not crawl and they do not get into trouble. I think it is very very easy to say or even expect that infants are welcome but that toddlers are not.
Maybe the key is knowing one's circle of friends and if people just know that babies aren't welcome I guess to each to her own.
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  #36  
June 10th, 2010, 05:59 PM
KimberlyD0
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Originally Posted by AMDG View Post
I disagree. Infants require no baby proofing - they require little to no space. Infants do not crawl and they do not get into trouble. I think it is very very easy to say or even expect that infants are welcome but that toddlers are not.
Maybe the key is knowing one's circle of friends and if people just know that babies aren't welcome I guess to each to her own.

Babies can also cry and be fussy and distract people because of it. While it doesn't bother me, I mean I've had 2 some people don't really want to listen to someone elses baby cry and distract the celebration. Same as any other event. Thats why I asked for no kids/babies at my wedding, I didn't want screaming kids or babies during the cerimony. Had someone asked me "can I bring my BF baby" I would have been fine with it, but would request they take the baby out if they're fussy.

Just a different perspective.
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  #37  
June 10th, 2010, 06:01 PM
IAmMomMomIAm
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Kris~ View Post
A few people have mentioned that it should be specified no children or something like that, so does that mean if it didn't say it you would assume it is okay, no matter how the invitation was addressed?
Internally, I would assume it's fine, but I would ask just to be sure.

Quote:
Originally Posted by AMDG View Post
I disagree. Infants require no baby proofing - they require little to no space. Infants do not crawl and they do not get into trouble. I think it is very very easy to say or even expect that infants are welcome but that toddlers are not.
Maybe the key is knowing one's circle of friends and if people just know that babies aren't welcome I guess to each to her own.
I think it's a lot more rude to basically say that Sally can bring her child but Becky can't, than it is to say no one can bring their child. And lots of babies are walking before a year, and therefore are mobile and still nursing. Plus, I would be incredibly offended if Sally was able to bring her seven month old because she was breast feeding, and I couldn't bring my child because "she can just stay home since she uses bottles."

I guess as far as I'm concerned, kids are either welcome or they aren't, and there's no need to distinguish between age or how they're fed. If someone doesn't want children at their baby shower for whatever reason, then I either wouldn't bring my child, or I wouldn't go.. it's not that big a deal to me.
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  #38  
June 10th, 2010, 06:15 PM
AMDG's Avatar Margaret
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Keskes View Post


I think it's a lot more rude to basically say that Sally can bring her child but Becky can't, than it is to say no one can bring their child. And lots of babies are walking before a year, and therefore are mobile and still nursing. Plus, I would be incredibly offended if Sally was able to bring her seven month old because she was breast feeding, and I couldn't bring my child because "she can just stay home since she uses bottles."

I guess as far as I'm concerned, kids are either welcome or they aren't, and there's no need to distinguish between age or how they're fed. If someone doesn't want children at their baby shower for whatever reason, then I either wouldn't bring my child, or I wouldn't go.. it's not that big a deal to me.
And I think that is fine. I think a lot of this varies based on general attitude toward infants and the particular group of friends/family. Like I said in an earlier post, in my few groups of friends, babies/mothers are viewed as one unit - one is not without the other. And I know I made comments about BFing earlier, but again, I'm just applying this to my life and I've never had a friend who uses formula so that is just my experience. It isn't that would expect a formula feeding mother to leave her baby at home, I just know that as a bfing mom - I flat out won't. In my life experience it is not rude to allow infants and babies but not toddlers because of the idea that share that mothers and babies are expected to always be together.
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  #39  
June 10th, 2010, 06:17 PM
chlodoll
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I do think it is rude to allow some people to bring children and not others even if they are infants. We don't have to attend everything we are invited to. With the last shower I was at I had no intentions of bringing my baby but he was just in such a mama mood that day so I asked my girlfriend an hour before if he could come and she said no because others were told not to bring their kids by her Mom. I am sure she did not care if Gabe was there or not, she just didn't want to be rude.
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  #40  
June 10th, 2010, 06:27 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by frgsonmysox View Post
Everyone who knows me in real life knows I don't go anywhere without my baby until they are at least 12 months. Anastasia was 18 months before I felt comfortable leaving her. So if they invited me I would assume they knew I was bringing my baby.
Ditto this. Until Cooper weaned, I didn't leave him for more than an hour or two at the most, and while he was exclusively breastfed I didn't leave him at all. I know not everyone does this, but I always assume that my friends don't go anywhere without their babies, so I would for sure make sure any event was baby-friendly if I were inviting people with babies or toddlers.
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