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Babies at a baby shower?


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  #1  
June 10th, 2010, 04:52 AM
GinaB's Avatar Ex-Navy Lifetime NRA!
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Does anyone think that an invited guest bringing their own baby to a baby shower is rude?
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  #2  
June 10th, 2010, 05:07 AM
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If it says "Adults Only" then yes, otherwise, I think it is ok.
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  #3  
June 10th, 2010, 05:49 AM
Poncho06's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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In my family, no it would not be considered rude. If I were attending one outside that I would gage it on the mom to be, location etc. or just ask.
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  #4  
June 10th, 2010, 05:55 AM
AMDG's Avatar Margaret
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No. I have heard this whole argument - oh, a baby takes the attention away from the expectant mother. Really? you are that starved for attention that you are going to be upset if a mother brings her baby?
I'm sure there is some limit but my own opinion is that if a baby is of breastfeeding age the baby should be able to go just about anywhere with his/her mother. If I had a baby and was invited to a shower that said adults only I wouldn't go. I don't leave my infants with other people - they can't breastfeed for me and I'm not going to start pumping just because some expectant mother doesn't want my baby around.
Sorry to come off strongly on this - I cannot imagine any of my friends EVER being offended by anything like this or EVER trying to exclude a breastfeeding baby from an event. In most of our minds breastfeeding baby/mother come as one unit - you can't get one without the other.
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  #5  
June 10th, 2010, 06:10 AM
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That's ludicrous. Why in the heck would it be rude? Because someone else is pregnant? "Ohz noez someone might say the baby is cute and distract from the mom-to-be for 5 minutes"....gimme a break.

I'm sure there may be a legit excuse though for it being rude. Like if the invite said no kids, or no babies (which I think is kind of rude in of itself)...but whatever floats your boat. I wouldn't want to go to a party where my baby was told she couldn't come. Unless it's an obvious adult party/function then I understand. But it's a baby shower...so yeah.
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  #6  
June 10th, 2010, 06:18 AM
chlodoll
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I think you should ask the host before you bring your children to any party. Not all parties are for kids. My friend just had a baby shower and her house is not very big so space was limited and she asked for adults only. Not because she didn't want attention taken away but because it would be easier. I wouldn't bring my children to a shower, wedding, engagement etc without asking first.
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  #7  
June 10th, 2010, 06:33 AM
AMDG's Avatar Margaret
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chlodoll View Post
I think you should ask the host before you bring your children to any party. Not all parties are for kids. My friend just had a baby shower and her house is not very big so space was limited and she asked for adults only. Not because she didn't want attention taken away but because it would be easier. I wouldn't bring my children to a shower, wedding, engagement etc without asking first.
I think we are talking about babies not kids. Babies don't really take up a lot of space The title is "babies at a baby shower?" - I don't think she was talking about a toddler running around getting into trouble.
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  #8  
June 10th, 2010, 06:39 AM
chlodoll
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Yes but if you allow on person to bring a baby but don't allow others to bring their children I don't think that is quite fair. What is the cut off limit? No walking children? I think its just up to the hosts discretion. If they don't want any children I don't see that as a problem.
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  #9  
June 10th, 2010, 06:49 AM
AMDG's Avatar Margaret
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chlodoll View Post
Yes but if you allow on person to bring a baby but don't allow others to bring their children I don't think that is quite fair. What is the cut off limit? No walking children? I think its just up to the hosts discretion. If they don't want any children I don't see that as a problem.
I guess for me it just comes back to BFing - babies belong with their mothers. And certainly FFing babies belong with their mothers too but it is more obvious with BFing babies. You are going to tell a BFing mother of a 3 month old she has to stay home? She has to pump milk (something she may never have done before) and leave her baby with someone else to come to a shower?
I think it is fair to say infants are welcome but older children aren't. Honestly I would never even think to ask if my infant was welcome to something like a shower because I think it goes without saying that a bfing baby goes with the mother. And I would pretty much assume children don't belong at a shower unless told otherwise. I don't think the line is hard to draw at all.

But in all honesty - whether a person is BFing or FFing - is it really reasonable to expect a mother of, let's just say a 3 month old, to leave her baby with someone else?? What about a 2 month old? One month? where do you draw the line? The mom should just stay home unless she feels comfortable with leaving her baby with someone else?
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  #10  
June 10th, 2010, 07:04 AM
chlodoll
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I totally understand, I think that if you have a newborn or young baby it would be easier to take them with you but I still think its appropriate to ask first, and if they say no well then either you don't go or you make other arrangements.

I know of women on here and IRL who leave their babies with others at day/weeks old. Everyone is comfortable with different things. Definitely not me though! Plus my babies like to nurse every 5 minutes for the first year of their lives lol
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  #11  
June 10th, 2010, 07:10 AM
IAmMomMomIAm
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I'm going to ignore the emphasis on breast feeding babies, and concentrate on the age rather than the feeding method. I don't have to leave my formula fed 8 month old at home anymore than someone has to leave their breast fed 8 month old.

I ask. I say something like "I'd love to come, but I do have to bring the baby." The only real life friends I have are incredibly baby oriented, and I can't imagine them EVER saying no kids.

If it DOES say no kids, then bringing kids is rude.. and I would just stay home.
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  #12  
June 10th, 2010, 08:27 AM
GinaB's Avatar Ex-Navy Lifetime NRA!
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Ok, back story........

I was invited to a baby shower of a woman due in a month. Invites just say "You are invited to a baby shower" and that's all. This woman, who I thought was a totally different person, acted a total female dog to a guest that brought her baby. The offender even brought a very nice gift but that didn't matter to the mother to be. I heard her say "It's my moment and I don't need a f%$#$# baby here to ruin it".

so, I have come to realize that either hormones has taken over this woman or she is really not the person I thought she was. I felt really bad for the other lady and sat with her and cooed all over her itty bitty baby.

I just would never think that a function that is about a baby would have people upset over one actually being there.

eta: I am not inviting this woman to my baby shower
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  #13  
June 10th, 2010, 08:29 AM
blondie-lox's Avatar Do NOT feed the Troll
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That's horrible. What a complete selfish B. I can't believe that. I would never ever speak to that women again if I were the mother with the baby, and I would have left and taken my gift with me.
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  #14  
June 10th, 2010, 08:31 AM
HappyHippy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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No I don't think it's rude, unless it says not to bring babies. At my cousins baby shower last summer there were a lot of babies and kids there, and it didn't say anything about it on the invite.
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  #15  
June 10th, 2010, 08:33 AM
GinaB's Avatar Ex-Navy Lifetime NRA!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blondie-lox View Post
That's horrible. What a complete selfish B. I can't believe that. I would never ever speak to that women again if I were the mother with the baby, and I would have left and taken my gift with me.
Yeh, the woman's mom who threw it for her daughter was pretty much horrified and pissed. I surely hope it was her one and only bad moment in public because it was pretty bad.
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  #16  
June 10th, 2010, 09:46 AM
Tammyjh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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She said that about a baby at a BABY shower????

I hope her hormones are just way out of control and she regrets how rude she behaved.
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  #18  
June 10th, 2010, 09:51 AM
AMDG's Avatar Margaret
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Maybe she was really upset about something else and just took her frustration out on that poor mom and baby? I think it is sad - wouldn't most expectant moms be happy to see a little baby at their shower?
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  #19  
June 10th, 2010, 09:51 AM
GinaB's Avatar Ex-Navy Lifetime NRA!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tammyjh View Post
She said that about a baby at a BABY shower????

I hope her hormones are just way out of control and she regrets how rude she behaved.

Yeh, She probably won't be getting one of these anytime soon
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  #20  
June 10th, 2010, 10:00 AM
Mikasa's Avatar Mom of 2 girls and 1 boy!
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No, I would not think it is rude to bring a baby to a baby shower and I would never think twice about it. I bring my baby everywhere (and brought my other kids everywhere when they were babies) and if my baby can't go, most likely I wouldn't go. And if the mom-to-be said something to me (or behind my back for that matter) about bringing my baby I would take my gift and leave and probably would not talk to her for a VERY long time.
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