We pride ourselves on having the friendliest
and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment
and register
for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers.
If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.
Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!
What would you think if the father of your child requested one? Or if he had one done without your consent?
We actually had an accidental one done during the "why the autism?" genetic testing; Tristan and DH share a duplication on a tiny part of a gene.
However, I told DH before this happened that if he EVER had doubts or even was just curious, that he was welcome to have one performed. Would you ever say that sort of thing?
I've never been unfaithful but it's my opinion that if he ever were consumed by worry about such that he's welcome to follow, track, get genetic testing done, etc. - he's just never allowed to be an anal orifice out of jealousy if he thinks but is not sure.
Well, my situation is a bit different. I chose to be a single mom and intentionally had my kids on my own, with a known donor. He is a personal friend of mine. He'd have no reason to seek a paternity test, but if he wanted one for whatever reason, no problem. But it's pretty obvious looking at the girls, LOL. E is him in miniature with girl parts.
IMO, a spouse/SO or ex wanting genetic testing is like the police asking to look in your home after your neighbour was murdered: you won't object if you have nothing to hide.
I'd probably wonder why he felt he couldn't trust me. But if he wanted one, I'd let him get one....shouldn't have anything to hide, especially as big as that!
Given the fact that we have never been with anyone else, we wouldn't need one. But if I was in a situation where that wasn't true, then I wouldn't mind allowing the test.
I'd probably be confused as to why he wanted one...but if he asked, sure. I've got nothing to hide. He didn't ask for one, he knows I'm not sleeping around.
I do get upset though when I hear about a kid who is 7 or 8 or something, and mom fess up, hey I sort of banged someone else around the same time and maybe Jane isn't yours. They get the DNA test, he isn't the bio-dad and decides he's never gonna be in the kid's life again because it "isn't his", you raised the kid for years, the kid doesn't care about biology, you're the dad. Fine, you don't want to be with the woman who screwed around you, break up with her. But the kid is attached to you. Walking out on them just sucks. You're punishing the kid for what the mom did to you.
I actually offered for Tello to have a paternity test on our son Brayden. Him and I had been together three weeks when I found out I was pregnant. I had left my ex husband a few months previous to that, but I still offered it just incase the thought was in his mind. He never took me up on it.
__________________
Nothing is better than being with your family. Finally reunited after 5 long months <3
It would depend on the circumstances. Once Chris gets his vasectomy he has told me that if I get pregnant past vasectomy he may want a paternity test. He says it jokingly but I can understand his reasoning.
__________________
~Beth~ Wife to my Airman Chris, and mommy to: Anthony Nathaniel (8/31/04), Anastasia Fae (8/01/06), Baby C (lost on 10/12/07), David Cillian (7/31/08), Charles George (4/29/10), and Alan Christopher (2/22/12)
I would probably be hurt by my husband's lack of trust, no, I definitely would be hurt. Once he got his results and satisfied any curiosity or doubt he had, he would owe me the biggest diamond apology.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RTMOM
Given the fact that we have never been with anyone else, we wouldn't need one. But if I was in a situation where that wasn't true, then I wouldn't mind allowing the test.
What does the fact that you had never been with anyone else have to do with this? Are you under the impression that anyone that wasn't a virgin bride is a promiscuous kooze?
For your information, my husband and I were both with other people before we began dating and are completely faithful and monogamous. Furthermore, I know of several couples that were each other's first and still faced infidelity.
If DH wanted a paternity test I would say go ahead and get one. It will only confirm what he already knows. I would be a hit to me since he always says he has the utmost trust in me, and to go from utmost trust to doubt? I would probably start thinking there was something going on within our marriage. I wouldn't know what, and I wouldn't start assuming, but the little voice in the back of my head would probably start talking to me.
I'd actually be very hurt that he'd in have a thought in his head that one of our children wasn't his. We're supposed to trust each other and if he asked for a paternity test that would mean he didn't trust me. That's the same as outright accusing me of cheating.
I'd have the test done and then we'd be taking ourselves to marriage counseling because obviously there's a problem if it came down to needing a paternity test.
I would be seriously hurt if he did ask for one. I would of course say yes, he could absolutely have a paternity test, and when our kids, which look more like him than they look like me, do turn out to be his, he better be offering an apology.
__________________
Writer, Navy wife, autistic mom of two autistic kids (E is 6, C is 5).
What would you think if the father of your child requested one? I'd be hurt for sure but I wouldn't deny him one either. But I agree with Stacy, once the results came back he would owe me big.
Or if he had one done without your consent? My XDH did this to me and I was very very pissed off. Granted I was barely 21 at the time so I was very immature still. But I was more pissed off that he didn't have the balls to ask me to my face first instead of just going behind my back. If my DH did it now I would be hurt that he didn't trust me enough to even just confront me about it. But as it stands now my son looks just like him and even has the same birthmark.
__________________
❤ Big Thanks to Vicki, trishosaurus, & Shortcake for the great siggies of my kids! ❤
Liz (36) Kev (35)
Tiana (16) Doni (14) Lil Kev (8) Ethan 7/23/12 Lil Roo 10/29/11
I would probably be hurt by my husband's lack of trust, no, I definitely would be hurt. Once he got his results and satisfied any curiosity or doubt he had, he would owe me the biggest diamond apology.
This, 100%. Although my DH shouldn't be questioning anything. Our kid looks exactly like him.
