Your child, the prostitute and stripper.

Chloe'sMommy · #1 September 29th, 2010, 07:59 AM

What would you do if your child told you that this was their occupation? Would you continue to let them live in your home (if they don't bring work home)? Would you support their choice?

HappyHippy · #2 September 29th, 2010, 08:04 AM

I would be really disappointed, probably angry for awhile, sad, I'm sure I'd cry a lot. But in the end I'd have to still accept them. He is my child (I don't have daughters), I brought him to this world, I loved and cared for him for so long. I'm not going to just dump on them and disown them. I think I would need some counseling to get past it and move forward.

RTMOM · #3 September 29th, 2010, 08:12 AM

Personally it would be far stretched that this would happen. Given our views on everything, they will grow up learning the same morals. But if it "did" happen, I would be upset, and hope to do what I can to get them out of the profession. If all attempts fail, then I would have to accept it. I love them no matter what.

Eta: also since I have boys..this would be very very far stretched. Lol, but above is mainly if I had a girl.

Hey... Where's Perry? · #4 September 29th, 2010, 08:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chloe'sMommy

What would you do if your child told you that this was their occupation? Would you continue to let them live in your home (if they don't bring work home)? Would you support their choice?

I would be disappointed... and no, I don't think I could be supportive and offer them words of encouragement to continue doing what they are doing. Instead, I would be supportive and encouraging of another occupation, schooling, etc.

More than likely, I would ask why?

As for living in my home, there would be no need for it because we all know strippers and prostitutes making decent money.

Linzie · #5 September 29th, 2010, 10:41 AM

My reaction would depend on a lot of things. Stripping and prostitution are completely different things to me. One is actually having sex, the other is an illusion, a tease. Stripping isn't as bad as prostitution IMO.

If she was prostituting herself I would be very disappointed, try to get her into counseling, see if she was having any mental issues. If she had a BF I would be questioning him too. Would I let her continue to live in my house? Yes, and we would work on getting her to stop. I personally feel kicking her out would do the opposite of what I want. Faced with no home and no food, etc, she would continue doing it. If she had no intentions to stop however, I don't know. First reaction says "kick her out", but don't know if I could.

If she was dancing, well, I can say a lot because I've been there. There are different varieties of strip clubs. Bikini bars, topless, nude. Bigger clubs have cage dancers who are always up above the crowd, or out of arms reach. I would have a really hard time dealing if she was working in a nude club except if she was ONLY a waitress. Really, I don't think I would mind too much if she was ONLY a waitress in any strip club. Usually the uniforms there are no worse than what you would see at a Hooters, and the attention is almost always on the dancers themselves. If she was actually dancing though, I would drill in the dangers of that occupation and try to get her in a different job. Yes, the money is great, but not worth the risk. I would be worried a lot.

eash · #6 September 29th, 2010, 10:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RTMOM

Given our views on everything, they will grow up learning the same morals.

I doubt highly that the parents of the women who become strippers or prostitutes pushed that as their future career choices or grew up in homes with lack of morals...nor are the women moral-less.

HappyHippy · #7 September 29th, 2010, 11:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eashley

I doubt highly that the parents of the women who become strippers or prostitutes pushed that as their future career choices or grew up in homes with lack of morals...nor are the women moral-less.

I have to agree with that. I have views, values and morals, but that doesn't mean my kids will have the same when they are adults. I don't have all of the same views, values or morals that my parents have.

RTMOM · #8 September 29th, 2010, 11:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eashley

I doubt highly that the parents of the women who become strippers or prostitutes pushed that as their future career choices or grew up in homes with lack of morals...nor are the women moral-less.

How did I know when I saw you replied, that you would quote me

. I am just stating what I believe. It may be different from others, but we have strong feelings of the moral aspect of it. And don't we all teach morals and values to our children. I never said it was impossible that they would do it.

when they are adults they have a choice to do what they want, doesn't mean I have to agree with it.

*Jillian* · #9 September 29th, 2010, 11:12 AM

I would try to support my child so they could give up that career choice.

A LOT of times these women are addicted to drugs (I'm thinking of prostitution mostly) so I would try to get them help if that was their issue.

People go down the wrong path in life all the time. As parents we can do all we can to raise our children with morals and values, but they all grow up to be their own person. Once they are adults they make their own choices in life. You can't say for sure what your child is going to do, regardless of how well you think you raised them.

RTMOM · #10 September 29th, 2010, 11:24 AM

I agree jillian, like I said, I never thought it was impossible that they would do that. I will be back on later to elaborate more.

Chloe'sMommy · #11 September 29th, 2010, 11:44 AM

I would not be able to support their choice to live that kind of lifestyle (talking more so about prostitution). I would help her however I could to make sure she was at least being safe while she was still working as a prostitute (taking her to get tested and such) but I would help her get a different job, maybe help her take some more classes, and just be all around supportive. I would hope that we will never have to be in this situation, it would break my heart if that's the path she chose.

Jintana · #12 September 29th, 2010, 11:55 AM

Also another boy mom, but I'll answer generic-genderly:

If the offspring managed to live life responsibly despite/because of said occupation, then I would be supportive. There's a legal distinction between stripping and prostitution, so there would be emphasis on keepin' it legal wherever possible. If the laws have changed by then, my level of support would be consistent with the legality of the situation. I'm far more concerned with the ability to budget, properly prioritize money, keeping oneself healthy, supporting oneself, etc. than the "Omg sex!! Immoral!" aspect. I'd sooner throw out of my house a deadbeat, disrespectful adult child than one who was earning money legally but in a controversial manner. For the record, I think prostitution should be legalized and regulated.

#13 September 29th, 2010, 12:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RTMOM

Personally it would be far stretched that this would happen. Given our views on everything, they will grow up learning the same morals. But if it "did" happen, I would be upset, and hope to do what I can to get them out of the profession. If all attempts fail, then I would have to accept it. I love them no matter what.

Erin already address my response to this, but I just wanted to add that no matter how you raise them, it's not that far stretched.

I don't care about stripping. It's good money, and if she enjoyed the money or enjoyed the occupation, I'm not going to stop her. If she's dancing because she's under the impression that there are no other options, of she's stuck in some kind of desperate situation that's lead her to take her clothes off, if she hates it and wants out, if she's ashamed or is doing it because her self esteem sucks, then I will do everything I can to help her.

I could never support prostitution, if just for the legal ramifications alone. I won't be able to support my children in participating in activities that have the potential for jail time (unless it's like a peaceful protest kind of situation). For someone who grows up in a loving environment, there are always options to prostitution.

RTMOM · #14 September 29th, 2010, 12:56 PM

I guess my point was, that we will teach them and raise them with what we believe our morals and values are, and hope that they follow them as well. If for some reason, other factors come into play and they get mixed up into those careers, then we will go from there. I definitely know that things can happen and change. When they are an adult, they have the freedom to do what they want.

But it's less likely when the kids are brought up with the same values that you have. Just like if a boy was brought up with a father who watched/looked at porn. Went to strip clubs regularly..etc. The boy is going to grow up with seeing that it is ok to do that. So more than likely they will follow the same ways. Kids learn from their parents and other influences in their lives.

Most of the time with prositutes, they have underlying issues from the homelife that puts them in that situation. Stripping can be a different story, but a lot of things go into that as well.

Banned-magicalthinking · #15 September 29th, 2010, 04:50 PM

I'd have an issue with prostitution, mostly because it isn't legal where I live, and also because there is a lot of drug use, rape, abuse, ect, ect, involved. I wouldn't disown them, or throw them out neccessarily, but I'd try to get them help and get them out of prostitution. I know someone who went down that path and it wasn't pretty, he's (yes, your little boys can get paid to screw too) out of it now, but he still has problem living with what he used to do. Not to mention he got into drugs (didn't use them before prostitution), and now lives with HIV as a result.

Stripping, on the other hand, I'm fine with. So long as they have a plan. You can't strip forever, you just can't. I did it. It was actually kind of funny how I just fell into it. My friend got me a job tending bar at the strip club she worked at. No big deal. While I was working there my boss suggessted I try shaking my booty on stage one night...mostly because a few of the girls were out sick and we needed to strech time. So, I shook what my mama gave me, and made $433 in one night. My friend commented that was a little low. I asked my boss if I could move to stripping, she said yes. Then I had to sit my parents down and tell them. My dad asked if I was strapped for cash, my mom offered to pay my rent. I wasn't strapped for cash. I made enough money to get all my bills paid and have a little extra for fun stuff. But, I figured out if I could bring in $400-$500 a night, working 3 nights a week, I'd make over a $1,000 a week....for not very many hours of work (I actually brought in more then that). And I decided I was going to save as much as I could to put towards my school. We decided I'd only do it for 6 months and then go back to do the more socially responsiable job of getting college kids plastered while wearing a low cut top. It worked well and I still have a lot of that money in savings, it's been paying for grad school.

If my kid has a plan to stop stripping, then sure, they can keep stripping. And I wouldn't make them move out or anything either. I'd want them to be putting a good amount of what they were making in savings though. That way they'd have some money saved up for when they stopped stripping.

Poncho06 · #16 September 29th, 2010, 09:28 PM

Stripping, not ideal but like some others have said, so long as it's with long term goal plans in mind I'd e ok with it.

As far as prostitution goes, gets a little more grey there. If we are talking hooking on hunts point, now I wouldn't be supportive of that and would try to help them to get out of that lifestyle.

If we're talking the bunny Ranch type of prostitution, not something I would want for them at all but they are doing it within a legal safe environment and if there was an end goal attached I'd be more willing to talk about it.

#17 September 29th, 2010, 11:12 PM

I am not fine with either and I would not support either and I would not allow them to live in my home. They are adults who make money so they can live on their own.

People generally do not choose these professions because its something they enjoy. I would think drugs would be a motivating factor, prior abuse or ongoing abuse. Prostitutes are raped, assaulted and threatened on a regular basis. I watched a documentary on HBO that said most young girls who are prostitutes start when they are 12-14 years old! If my child told me they did this I would get them help, they need an intervention or something, and if they refused than I am not interested in that kind of world being around my family.

Ann_momof2 · #18 September 30th, 2010, 09:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chloe'sMommy

What would you do if your child told you that this was their occupation? Would you continue to let them live in your home (if they don't bring work home)? Would you support their choice?

Male or female shouldn't matter (as there are strippers and prostitutes of both gender.

They definitely would not be living in my home, and I would not support their choice but if they ever wanted help to get out of the situation I would always welcome them back or help.

K.A.T · #19 September 30th, 2010, 01:04 PM

I would be very disappointed if my daughter decided she wanted to prostitute herself. I may be upset if she decided to strip as well. I would be more understanding especially if she was doing it to put her through school. I just hope it wouldn't be something she planned on doing for life.