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Kids come first vs mom comes first


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  #22  
June 9th, 2011, 09:13 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lash View Post
Care to explain how you classified dad as more helpless than mom?
LOL. He can help out just fine, and he does with no nagging.

I put him first, because of his skin condition. His doctor told us that this isn't something he can cure on his own, he needs the support system. So, I put him first to make sure he has everything he could possibly need to take care of his skin and get better. But it's also the way I was raised. He works, I get to stay home, he treats me like a queen.... the least I can do is make sure he's looked after.
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  #23  
June 10th, 2011, 04:22 PM
Tofu Bacon
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Whosoever has the more pressing need at the time comes first Sometimes its the kids, sometimes its not.

Quote:
Oh, and this helpless man business, isn't going to fly in my house. You're a grown up. You aren't a helpless child, stop acting like it. Man up, grow a pair, and learn how to do things. Men aren't stupid. They can find their own underwear and some can even operate a washing machine. I've seen 'em do it.
Ditto. Dads need to learn in the trenches just like moms. I think we also need to be willing to give up some control and get over the fact that our way isn't the only way. Sometimes that may entail mismatched clothes, too much sugar... or perhaps Clorox wipes being used as baby wipes
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  #24  
June 10th, 2011, 04:30 PM
L-SBB's Avatar Bébé Cowgirl
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tofu Bacon View Post
Whosoever has the more pressing need at the time comes first Sometimes its the kids, sometimes its not.


Ditto. Dads need to learn in the trenches just like moms. I think we also need to be willing to give up some control and get over the fact that our way isn't the only way. Sometimes that may entail mismatched clothes, too much sugar... or perhaps Clorox wipes being used as baby wipes
ITA! We've worked hard on this ourselves and while DH & I agree on the big stuff, he does some things differently (like degree of rough housing with her - which is way wilder than I'd do myself...and she loves it) than I would and I try to give him that space to parent his way because I think it's essential to their bonding & relationship longer term.
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  #25  
June 11th, 2011, 07:53 AM
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Kids come 1st.

I don't see it as me needing balance. When I sacrifice it's not out of obligation or martyrdom, it's by choice. There's no resentment or feeling of lacking. I am happiest when my children are happy. Buying them things make me much more happy than buying me things. Doing their activities makes me more happy than going out with adults etc. This is what I choose to do & I love it!
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  #26  
June 11th, 2011, 03:38 PM
superwoman8977's Avatar Awesome Mommy!
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I am my kids's mom..that said their needs are met but my life doesnt revolve around them. I like having my time too. You can be a wife and mother and not lose your identity. I know with my 1st husband I lost my identity put my kids and hubby 1st and was miserable. This marriage I have balanced it all out and I am still a hot wife, hot mama and balance hubby and kids. Its like this weekend I have to work Saturday evening and Sunday so kids are at a sitter and I had Saturday during the day to get my hair done and read and enjoy the pool in quiet...I like taking time away from the kids at least once every 2 months...in August I am going on a girls weekend with my sisters to Vegas...My kids get what they need and want and so does mom and everyone is happy...
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  #27  
June 11th, 2011, 04:19 PM
BittyBugsMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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You know, its crazy. On my driver's license where it used to say my name, now it says Wife of: and Mother to: I guess I've officially lost my identity.
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  #28  
June 11th, 2011, 04:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BittyBugsMama View Post
You know, its crazy. On my driver's license where it used to say my name, now it says Wife of: and Mother to: I guess I've officially lost my identity.
I just cant wait to see the moms in here when the kids are grown up and on their own and they will be like now what???? Its going to be funny..
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  #29  
June 11th, 2011, 04:32 PM
BittyBugsMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Actually, I plan on staying with my kids until I'm dead. I plan on co sleeping with my daughter until she is 14. I also plan on getting an apartment off campus for the college my kids go to, if they choose to go to college. Then I'm going to buy them both houses on my street, if they actually want to move out of my house - and who are we kidding, they are never gonna want to do that! Oh, and I plan on installing GPS trackers and cameras in their cars so I can be with them as much as possible. I will be able to be there with them even when I can't be. After all, my sweet angels are all I've got!
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  #30  
June 11th, 2011, 04:34 PM
Hey... Where's Perry?'s Avatar Darnit face
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BittyBugsMama View Post
You know, its crazy. On my driver's license where it used to say my name, now it says Wife of: and Mother to: I guess I've officially lost my identity.
Who are you again? I was gonna text you earlier but ended up texting your hubby as well as the dude and little princess because they own you.
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  #31  
June 11th, 2011, 04:38 PM
BittyBugsMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hey... Where's Perry? View Post
Who are you again? I was gonna text you earlier but ended up texting your hubby as well as the dude and little princess because they own you.
I checked my birth certificate, sort of like the picture in Back to the Future, and wouldn't you know it? Says the same thing as my license... I think my name is mama, since that is what everyone in the house calls me.

If you wanna text me, just text me and DH will let me know when I'm allowed to answer it, if I ever can. I have a house to clean, a husband to satisfy and children to train so I wouldn't recommend holding your breath for a response.
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  #32  
June 11th, 2011, 04:42 PM
Hey... Where's Perry?'s Avatar Darnit face
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BittyBugsMama View Post
I checked my birth certificate, sort of like the picture in Back to the Future, and wouldn't you know it? Says the same thing as my license... I think my name is mama, since that is what everyone in the house calls me.

If you wanna text me, just text me and DH will let me know when I'm allowed to answer it, if I ever can. I have a house to clean, a husband to satisfy and children to train so I wouldn't recommend holding your breath for a response.
I just tried, he told me that you're busy making him a sandwich (as you should be, it's your womanly duty).
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  #33  
June 11th, 2011, 04:42 PM
acupofjoe's Avatar Proud mama of three!
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our kids needs come before anyone elses needs, their wants depending on what it is now those might come a little later if their dad and i are busy doing say house chores or something but we always try to get to the kids first no matter what but sometimes its just not possible.
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  #34  
June 11th, 2011, 04:45 PM
Hey... Where's Perry?'s Avatar Darnit face
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While my monster always come before me (except in times of me sneaking peanut butter twix), I can totally understand when airlines tell you to put your oxygen mask on first, though. If you pass the hell out, you won't be there to help you kiddo.
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  #35  
June 12th, 2011, 03:05 PM
Undomesticated Housewife's Avatar Master(de)bater
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Quote:
Originally Posted by superwoman8977 View Post
I just cant wait to see the moms in here when the kids are grown up and on their own and they will be like now what???? Its going to be funny..
So? I love my children and will miss them tremendously. Fortunately, I will ensure that my children grow up feeling loved and safe enough at home to come visit often and call frequently. I will adjust just fine.

You, on the other hand, are just teaching them to be detached from you as a child. That way, in a few years, you will have prepared them to be booted out and never to look back. Your kids will probably grow up to be somewhat emotionally damaged & resent you. That won't be funny at all. Just sad, sad, sad.
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  #36  
June 12th, 2011, 03:50 PM
HappyHippy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by superwoman8977 View Post
I just cant wait to see the moms in here when the kids are grown up and on their own and they will be like now what???? Its going to be funny..
So if we put our kids first then we have no identity and won't know what to do after our kids leave the house? Just because I put my kids first doesn't mean I have no me time, kids sleep at some point and usually hours before I go to bed. I have plenty of time to do the things I want. Me time for me doesn't consist of drinking with the gals or anything like that as that doesn't appeal to me. And when my kids fly the coop I will probably have to have an adjustment period as I'm sure most parents do since it will go to x amount of people in the house to only 2 (provided I'm not a single mom which I hope not). That will be a big change just like it was when I had my first son. I have lots of things I plan to do when my kids leave, things that I will do on my own and things I will do with my DH. Why would you think that just because most of us moms here are different from you that we won't know what to do? Maybe you'll be the one that is like "now what?"
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  #37  
June 12th, 2011, 04:19 PM
Hey... Where's Perry?'s Avatar Darnit face
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Quote:
Originally Posted by superwoman8977 View Post
I just cant wait to see the moms in here when the kids are grown up and on their own and they will be like now what???? Its going to be funny..

You are sick, like really really mentally sick. You terrify the sh*t out of me.
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  #38  
June 12th, 2011, 04:24 PM
HappyHippy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hey... Where's Perry? View Post
You are sick, like really really mentally sick. You terrify the sh*t out of me.
I know right? It's so funny that a mother wouldn't look at her children as some sort of inconvienence and that might not know what to do the moment they move out. Yup, that is hilarious
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  #39  
June 12th, 2011, 04:47 PM
L-SBB's Avatar Bébé Cowgirl
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hey... Where's Perry? View Post
You are sick, like really really mentally sick. You terrify the sh*t out of me.
Gee, who do I think is going to freak out when their highly regimented schedules are no longer needed...well clearly it's all of us

p.s. time warped Jace is just as freaking adorable as his baby pic
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  #40  
June 12th, 2011, 04:51 PM
Hey... Where's Perry?'s Avatar Darnit face
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Quote:
Originally Posted by L-SBB View Post
Gee, who do I think is going to freak out when their highly regimented schedules are no longer needed...well clearly it's all of us

p.s. time warped Jace is just as freaking adorable as his baby pic
LOL thanks! I like to confuse people, just wait till I post a pic of when he had red hair!
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