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spanking an infant


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  #21  
August 29th, 2011, 09:23 AM
WineKeepsMeSane's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Absolutely not, for all the reasons already stated. In Canada that's not even legal (children must be over the age of 2 for a parent to be allowed to spank them, as ruled by the Supreme Court). Completely reportable.
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  #22  
August 29th, 2011, 09:44 AM
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For the record, I am completely appalled by this and against this.

But I'm not convinced, as the rest of you seem, that this is guaranteed to be completely ineffective. I don't see how this is really much different from blanket training (which I'm also opposed to). A four-month old certainly can't be taught to understand that a behavior is 'wrong,' or to understand the rationale for why he/she is being punished. But he can be 'taught' (a better word is 'conditioned'), in a Pavlovian sense, to associate certain activities with negative outcomes (and therefore to avoid those activities). Even the least intelligent animals can be taught this. This is the entire concept behind blanket training. Witness this woman's account: blanket training » No Longer Quivering , where she explains that at the age of 6 months she began learning not to cry/fuss, or this How to Blanket Train a Baby | eHow.com , where the recommendation is that blanket training begin "as soon as your child is alert enough to start checking out his surroundings."

This woman certainly isn't going to be able to teach her 4-month old to 'share.' That's far too abstract a concept. It's far more likely that she's conditioning him not to fuss -- not to ever ask for what he needs. She might have some 'success' with this, but I don't approve of her goal or her methodology.
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  #23  
August 29th, 2011, 10:09 AM
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I am beyond distrubed by this, and 100% believe that the baby will learn NOTHING form this. Nothing positive anyways. Attempting to "teach" or "condition" a child is downright disgusting. At 4 months of age, they have no idea what they are doing, or why anything happens really.

This is wrong on many levels, and I think you're going to do the right thing. By talking to her and her boyfriend. Jillian said it best, she should not have been blessed with that child. Children are gifts to be cherised and loved and taken care of. Not spanked because you feel they did something "wrong".

Not to mention that in reality, how do we even know this poor 4 month old was fussing over a toy and not some other reason?
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  #24  
August 29th, 2011, 10:49 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rachel. View Post
She doesn't seem depressed. Having had PPD myself, I don't necessarily see it in her but that doesn't mean that she doesn't have it. She is having boyfriend trouble, which I imagine is part of the problem.

I will be warning her that next time I'm calling CPS. I saw her spank the baby one other time and it was several smacks. I'll also be talking to her boyfriend, I think, so he knows that there's something going on.
It doesn't have to be depression, but there could be something wrong. When I had PPD I wasn't really depressed, but my anxiety and anger issues were through the roof. Maybe she's good at hiding her depression. I just think this is something worth looking into further before you jump the cps gun.
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  #25  
August 29th, 2011, 10:52 AM
Repti.Mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Lady like that is the same type who will be dragging the kid on a leash in a year while she gets her nails done...

On one hand I wouldn't want to invite the lady over anymore, but on the other hand I'd be afraid what she does to that baby when no one else is around.
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  #26  
August 29th, 2011, 11:35 AM
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It's completely wrong of her to do that - but I wouldn't just call CPS. I'd talk to her about it. Some people are just ignorant. They really don't understand kids. I'm not excusing her at all, but it could be that she's trainable and getting CPS involved would just add more stress and anger when, realistically, they wouldn't take the baby away.
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  #27  
August 29th, 2011, 12:15 PM
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No, it's never ok to spank an infant. I don't think it's ok to spank any age, but an infant is absurd. If she's spanking to the point of screaming, that's abuse. I would throw her out and call the proper authorities. This baby should not be getting hit because it's mother is an idiot.

When women have PPD they dont' usually act out on their baby. They may have thoughts of hurting their child, but they normally don't do it. She may have other issues though where she does take them out on the child. Or she could just be a complete idiot who doesn't know how to parent or love properly.

I also do not agree with blanket training.
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  #28  
August 29th, 2011, 02:37 PM
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Ignorance is never an excuse to abuse.

Not knowing "how to deal with kids" is not an excuse for spanking a 4 month old to the point that the child screams. Calling CPS does not in any way, shape, or form guarantee a child will be taken away, either. In a lot of instances children are NOT taken away, they'd prefer not to have to put even more kids in an overly taxed system. They will however evaluate the parents, the child(ren) and the situation. More often than not they can redirect the parent to the proper resources if he/she needs them-and continue monitoring. Sure it's intrusive and annoying, but better safe than sorry. That's exactly why I would call CPS on someone who beats a 4 month old. If a mother is suffering from PPD, or anything else even, that would cause her such stress and anxiety that she resorts to hitting her own child-she needs help. If you can't/won't give it, someone should.

Meh, child abuse is a hot button of mine I guess. I just can't stand the thought of someone taking their own inability to deal(with whatever is causing them grief/anxiety/stress) out on a child, much less an infant. It scares the crap out of me to be honest. We know it can get worse as the child gets older. I can't fathom seeing it happen, and doing nothing, especially with someone I know personally and worse right in my own home. I'm not the kind of person who will mind my own business in that sort of scenario-I'd prefer to overreact and have someone get pissed at me for turning them in, than to turn around later and find out my report was too little too late(or worse, I'd done nothing at all, and could have).


Sorry edited because it nearly double posted the same message
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  #29  
August 29th, 2011, 03:08 PM
mayandsofiasmommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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That's abuse. I would call CPS.
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  #30  
August 29th, 2011, 03:13 PM
Poncho06's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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4 months is well below the age that would be acceptable for me. Frankly neither child was old enough to understand or to be able to display sharing.

No way I'd allow that to happen more than once under my roof and I almost NEVER pull the CPS card but this would be a case where I would honestly wrestle with whether or not to call. This mother obviously needs to learn children's developmental capabilities as well as coping mechanisms to deal with her adult stress.
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  #31  
August 29th, 2011, 04:35 PM
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I would try educating this woman, before calling CPS. CPS won't do much unless bruises and welts are being left and they are still there by the time they come.
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  #32  
August 30th, 2011, 10:11 AM
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Spanking a 4 month old is outright abuse. This is so ridiculous I can't even find the words to describe it. Forget CPS, I would call the cops the second she did it, and not tell her I did, so that they can arrest her while the baby's butt is still red.
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  #33  
September 2nd, 2011, 04:35 PM
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Honestly, I disagree with spanking at any age. I've traveled this year to a first global conference on ending corporal punishment (including spanking) and met with the top researchers all over the world. The consensus is that spanking and corporal punishment is not effective and does not enforce positive behaviour in the child. So, any age, no spanking. Of course, I DO understand that parenting is stressful, especially when dealing with other life factors, and I understand when parents "slip up" and gently slap their child's bottom or threaten to get the "spoon out" even when they are generally anti-corporal punishment. But as a whole, I stand by the adage of "never hit a child".
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  #34  
September 4th, 2011, 09:38 AM
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Um. No. You can't spank a 4month old baby.

I'd get rid of her, personally. You're not obligated to her in any way regardless of what's wrong with her (sorry, I learned that the HARD way). I'd also call on her a$s if she really doesn't have PPD and is just a jerk, because if she does THAT in front of YOU, imagine what else she does when no one's around. Maybe start with her pediatrician or someone who can guide you the right way. If she does have PPD, then I'd direct her to counseling. Either way, that baby needs help.

And this is coming from a SPANKER, btw.
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  #35  
September 4th, 2011, 09:56 AM
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No this is not ok. I am ok with spanking in some situations, but never an infant.
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  #36  
September 8th, 2011, 04:24 PM
Beeker's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I agree with most. You DON'T spank an infant. Ever. I most definitely would have said something...or punched her in the face..
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  #37  
September 8th, 2011, 04:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beeker View Post
I agree with most. You DON'T spank an infant. Ever. I most definitely would have said something...or punched her in the face..
Yeah, great idea, so you can go to jail pregnant.
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  #38  
September 8th, 2011, 09:32 PM
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Spanking an infant is abuse. Plain and simple.
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  #39  
September 10th, 2011, 07:08 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hey... Where's Perry? View Post
Yeah, great idea, so you can go to jail pregnant.


I'd punch her in the face too.
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  #40  
September 10th, 2011, 09:01 AM
Fluffy Baby's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by frgsonmysox View Post
I'd punch her in the face too.


Me too. All 3 of us can go to jail in the maternity section, lol.
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