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  #1  
August 28th, 2011, 07:53 PM
rachel.'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I have a houseguest who spanks her 4 month old son. The first time I saw it, I almost flipped my lid. This isn't just a tap, this is a smack hard enough to make the baby scream. I haven't said anything to her. I was talking to a few friends about spanking, and one said she did the same thing - started spanking her daughter at about 3 months. She is adamant that it is perfectly fine to spank a small baby. My other two friends say, it's never okay to spank that young. I haven't heard an inbewteen opinion about it.

So, my question up for debate: Is it ever okay to spank a small infant? If so, under what circumstances and with what amount of force?
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  #2  
August 28th, 2011, 08:10 PM
foxfire_ga79
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No. We spank, but not until over a year old. They have to know they are doing something wrong and be able to understand they shouldn't do it again. Infants don't think that way. Everything they do is by instinct, not a decision. A simple redirection at that age is perfect.
And even at that, a spanking shouldn't hurt at that age. Just smack it just right so the diaper makes noise.
I honestly would step in if a guest of mine did that to their baby. I don't think I could just overlook that. I'm sure it's none of my business but that would make me cringe so hard I couldn't keep quiet about it.
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  #3  
August 28th, 2011, 08:12 PM
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No, I don't think it is ever okay to spank an infant. I've met very few people who think it would be okay and most of them spank when their child is older. Infants cannot learn from being spanked and isn't that the entire point of spanking, to punish a child for doing something wrong and correcting them?

I don't know what an infant could do to warrant a spanking anyway. What did the 4 month old do?
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  #4  
August 28th, 2011, 08:16 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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not an infant no.
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  #5  
August 28th, 2011, 09:06 PM
tiredmom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I don't find it acceptable to spank any age group; but it is especially odious to spank infants.
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  #6  
August 28th, 2011, 09:07 PM
rachel.'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LessthanThree View Post
I don't know what an infant could do to warrant a spanking anyway. What did the 4 month old do?
My 7 month old son was sitting in front of the 4 month old, who was on his tummy. Kaiden leaned forward to grab a toy and the 4 month old started fussing, and his mother spanked him and told him to "share" and then proceeded to say, "Fine, I'll go get you your own toys since the other baby won't share!" and stormed off and hasn't spoken to me since. I am a little blind sighted. Not sure how to handle the situation, but it's much more in depth than the spanking thing.
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  #7  
August 28th, 2011, 09:10 PM
BittyBugsMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Uh yeah, before about the age of 28 months the kids really have no way to comprehend why you are hitting them. Next time you see her do it, go over and slap her and tell her that hitting is not nice. Or call the cops and report child abuse. Really, either one works for me.
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  #8  
August 28th, 2011, 10:32 PM
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no way is that appropriate at that age. a 4 month old can't comprehend what's going on.
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  #9  
August 28th, 2011, 10:48 PM
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A 4 month old should not be spanked at all they are too young to know right from wrong. I remember when my son was 8 months old and bit while nursing and with a knee jerk reaction I slapped his face, then I spent the next 20 minutes bawling my eyes out because I hurt my baby. As far as sharing at 4 and 7 months here is some insight into the mind of a toddler...

Ages & Stages - Toddlers

According to it even 2 year olds have trouble with sharing so yeah spanking a 4 month old for not sharing is ridiculous. I say tell her that "In this house we keep our hands to ourselves."
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  #10  
August 28th, 2011, 11:55 PM
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That person would stop being a house guest if they couldn't lay their hands off their infant child and find better ways to control their anger. It has nothing to do with punishment, you can't punish someone who doesn't even slightly grasp that a wrong was committed, all you're doing is validating your own feeling that some wrong was committed and "you" need to do something about it to "teach" the child. It does nothing at all for the recipient who doesn't know any better and really can't at that age anyway.

I'd call cps on any idiot that thought spanking a 4 month old like that was ok, even after being talked to about it. Let someone else show them just how wrong it actually is. I would especially call if there is more than just that spanking going on. It's just as wrong to watch someone abuse a child as it is to commit the act yourself-in my personal opinion that is.
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  #11  
August 29th, 2011, 05:22 AM
BigGrin's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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She get slapped within an inch of her life if she were in my house. A 4 months cannot comprehend language, cannot reason through anything, and has the attention span of a goldfish. So hitting her infant is just feeding some sick desire within to assert her power over a helpless infant.

She wouldn't be a guest at my house anymore and I would cut her out of my life.
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  #12  
August 29th, 2011, 06:14 AM
New Mama's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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No, it's NEVER okay to spank an infant, and as many others have said, that person would not be a guest in my house any longer.
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  #13  
August 29th, 2011, 07:06 AM
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I'd toss her out of my house right on her azz. I couldn't be friends with anyone who thought it was okay to spank an infant. Does she really think a 4 month old understands the concept of sharing or why he is being spanked? She's an idiot. I'd probably tell she needed some serious therapy and that if I ever found out she spanked that baby again I'd turn her in for it.
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  #14  
August 29th, 2011, 07:21 AM
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thats just crazy. I say not acceptable at all
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  #15  
August 29th, 2011, 08:11 AM
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WHAT?!?! A 4 month old?! That is abuse. Plain and simple.
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  #16  
August 29th, 2011, 08:47 AM
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No, it's never OK to spank a child that young.
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  #17  
August 29th, 2011, 09:00 AM
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You have to be a sick individual to spank an infant. What would upset her so much that she would do that? I think she needs help.

I also think that people like that shouldn't be given the gift of having children. What a f'ng waste.
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  #18  
August 29th, 2011, 09:09 AM
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I'm not one to suggest calling CPS at the drop of a hat but I really think she has anger issues. They may be able to get her into anger management classes. I mean, if you can spank an infant for fussing/not liking to share, then I wonder what she'll do later on when the kid starts doing things that are actually wrong? Especially since she expects two infants to share without a fuss.

At the very least I would talk to her and tell her that spanking infants is not allowed in your home. If she has a problem with it, tell her she can go elsewhere.
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  #19  
August 29th, 2011, 09:14 AM
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Is it possible this woman is suffering from PPD?
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  #20  
August 29th, 2011, 09:21 AM
rachel.'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by K.A.T View Post
Is it possible this woman is suffering from PPD?
She doesn't seem depressed. Having had PPD myself, I don't necessarily see it in her but that doesn't mean that she doesn't have it. She is having boyfriend trouble, which I imagine is part of the problem.

I will be warning her that next time I'm calling CPS. I saw her spank the baby one other time and it was several smacks. I'll also be talking to her boyfriend, I think, so he knows that there's something going on.
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