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Not allowing certain extracurricular activities


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  #1  
September 11th, 2011, 10:57 PM
tiredmom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Are there any extracurricular activities (sports. academic clubs, youth groups, music, dance etc) that you would not allow your children to do? When they are young, it may be more of a function of just not letting them know something is an option. As they get older it might be strongly discouraging or actually telling them no if they ask to join something.

I know there are a couple of the things that I wont allow that are very popular in many households. The first is playing football. My husband thinks Im hypocritical because I encourage soccer and baseball and biking, all of which can come close to football in incidence of head injuries. But for me, football is far enough ahead, that I just dont want to risk it.

The other thing I am not willing let my kids get involved in is the boy scouts because of their stance on homosexuality and atheism; though I most definitely recognize they have a lot of great things to offer a child.

I can very easily see my boys asking to get involved with either of these activities as they get older. Am I wrong to impose my biases on my kids? What other extracurricular activities would you guys ban or discourage in your families and why?
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  #2  
September 11th, 2011, 11:13 PM
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I dont really want my son to play soccer, but not for any reason other then me and DH are both wrestlers and at our highschool the wrestlers and soccer players always fueded, but I would suck it up and let him even though I would prefer that he wrestles. I cannot think of any other possibility so no I dont think there is anything I would ban or discourage.
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  #3  
September 12th, 2011, 05:26 AM
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Football for injuries, especially in EDS kids.

Dance because my husbands step mom is a well known choreographer and ruined it for him. He cant even watch dance without becoming extremely angry.
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  #4  
September 12th, 2011, 06:11 AM
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Pageants

Travelling sports teams. No way, no how, am I bending my entire life six months of the year around travelling for a junior sports league. The time and money it consumes is ridiculous.
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  #5  
September 12th, 2011, 06:40 AM
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Depends on the age. I am not allowing swimming quite yet because of the skill it takes and I simply do not trust anyone else to be able to fully keep an eye on my kids. So until they get through their lessons, no swimming for them.

Other than that, they can choose what they wish to participate in. It their lives and sooner or later, you'll have to live with whatever choices they make, even if it's not YOUR choice. If you don't let them do the things they want, they may very well rebel and make choices you really don't like. We're not supposed to live through our kids or fear everything . You do that, your kids won't ever even have a life. What kind of life is that?
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  #6  
September 12th, 2011, 06:40 AM
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Nope, my kids can be in anything they want. Pagents, no, but they aren't extraciricular activities to me. Any sport, dance, music, scouts they want is fine by me.
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  #7  
September 12th, 2011, 06:51 AM
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Pagents, no. There is a certain limit I'm going to be willing to pay for, though, for budget reasons. Some of those sports are expensive! And we're going to have a set number of extracurriculars per season (we haven't set that yet since we aren't at that point in our lives). We don't want to be running from one event to another with no family time and with 4 kids it doesn't take too much for that to be the case!

I would certainly discourage football for the injuries. I wouldn't prohibit it, but I'd encourage other options. strongly
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  #8  
September 12th, 2011, 08:37 AM
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Haha just recently I was telling DH that DD "isn't allowed" to do cheerleading... but I know that if she really wanted to and it worked out with our lives at the time I'd let her. It just wouldn't be the first thing I'd pick... no real reason on that either, really.

pageants would also be on my "no" list, at least a big "NO" for the crazy glitz stuff, and a probable "no" for some type of local county fair thing
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  #9  
September 12th, 2011, 08:39 AM
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Big heck no to pageants. However, with anything else it would have to depend on age and how much my child really liked the activity.
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  #10  
September 12th, 2011, 08:46 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WineKeepsMeSane View Post
Pageants

Travelling sports teams. No way, no how, am I bending my entire life six months of the year around travelling for a junior sports league. The time and money it consumes is ridiculous.
This maybe a silly question as it's been so long since I was in high school - and when I was it was a small school in a small town. But don't most or all sports require traveling? Does that mean even if she were really into soccer or whatever sport then she wouldn't be allowed to join the team?

Quote:
Originally Posted by MommaBee View Post
Nope, my kids can be in anything they want. Pagents, no, but they aren't extraciricular activities to me. Any sport, dance, music, scouts they want is fine by me.
By asking about extracurricular activities, I meant any activity not related to school work; so I would consider pageants in that category.
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  #11  
September 12th, 2011, 08:59 AM
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df is pretty much anti organized sport. too many injuries. i can't come up with a valid argument, if you look at my medical records from 4th grade to 10th grade it screams "sports are dangerous!"

if the kids want to do something, we'll discuss it with them. i have a rule, if you want to do it, you see it through. I was never allowed to start something then give it up a week later cause I didn't like it. If mom shelled out money, i had to stick with it until either the year was up, or the pre paid for time was up.

the only thing i will ever push my kids into, is swimming. i believe that's one of the most important things someone should ever learn. Dss is fearless in the water, but cannot swim. a dangerous combination. we do take him swimming, we purchased a life jacket for him and it helps keep him afloat, with out making him a bobber in the water. he loves it, but he doesn't have the attention span to take lessons. next summer his getting in the pool will be entirely dependent on him paying attention to me and learning things like floating. (I'm certified to teach lessons, but have never taught a child with needs).
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  #12  
September 12th, 2011, 09:11 AM
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This is a tough one. If my daughter wanted to be in pageants, I'd let her. I wouldn't be one of those insane pageant moms, spending thousands of dollars on dresses or buying her fake crap to put under them. If she wanted to do a pageant for fun, or even as her recreational activity of choice, I would let her and support her in that.

My husband is an Eagle scout and I want my son to have that same experience that my husband did but their stances on certain things boil my blood. So its about 99% probable that my son will be in Scouts but we will find a troop that doesn't subscribe to the anti - homosexual or anti - atheism feelings. If we can't find one, we will become den parents ourselves.

My son is pretty athletically gifted for his age so I figure if I start saving now for all the sports hes going to play, I might be able to make it through to his junior high years I don't know what my kids are going to do when they get older but we will support them with it. A player that used to play for our MLB team once said that his parents supported him with anything he wanted to do but that he had to see it through. He decided one year he wanted to be in the band, he was in it for a few weeks and hated it and his parents made him stay in the band for the rest of the year because he had committed himself to it and he had to see it through. That is how I plan on raising my kids.
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  #13  
September 12th, 2011, 09:14 AM
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I will never allow pageants. That is one great big hell no. I will not allow dance that does too provocative moves or costumes/dress.

If I have a boy, he is not allowed to go into Boy Scouts due to their homosexuality stance.

Otherwise, Lily is really allowed to do whatever she wants as long as it is fun and has good values. Today is her first choir practice I prefer her to do music than sports, and come 4th grade, I hope she chooses to play an instrument as well. I also hope she does some kind of dance, but that is up to her. Right now.... choir is good
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  #14  
September 12th, 2011, 09:17 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tiredmom View Post
This maybe a silly question as it's been so long since I was in high school - and when I was it was a small school in a small town. But don't most or all sports require traveling? Does that mean even if she were really into soccer or whatever sport then she wouldn't be allowed to join the team?
I know at my highschool ALL sports traveled. Tennis, Soccer, Wrestling, Football, Baseball, all of it. We were a smaller county though so unless you were going to southern sectionals you didnt go farther then 30-45 minutes to the really far schools. However I think the posted who said that was talking about traveling youth sports. Because there are some junior football and soccer leauges that travel as much if not more then the highschool ones and since the junior leauges typically dnt have buses you have to drive your child to every game (whereas in highscool traveling sports you dont have to go to every game or you would have the option to alternate which childs games you go to). There are usually the option to join a travel junior sports team or a nontravel county wide one.
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  #15  
September 12th, 2011, 09:19 AM
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Yeah, there are specific travel teams that you have to try out for and pay for. They aren't usually affiliated with the school systems, they are with outside, independent leagues.
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  #16  
September 12th, 2011, 09:43 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BittyBugsMama View Post
Yeah, there are specific travel teams that you have to try out for and pay for. They aren't usually affiliated with the school systems, they are with outside, independent leagues.
Right. My nephew was on the traveling baseball team for his area. My brother traveled with him for the most part and they did have to pay for it. There are no traveling teams while school is in session. However, in JHS and HS our teams will travel to other school but nothing over night.
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  #17  
September 12th, 2011, 11:15 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tiredmom View Post
This maybe a silly question as it's been so long since I was in high school - and when I was it was a small school in a small town. But don't most or all sports require traveling? Does that mean even if she were really into soccer or whatever sport then she wouldn't be allowed to join the team?



By asking about extracurricular activities, I meant any activity not related to school work; so I would consider pageants in that category.
Well, not high school, but the city I grew up in had a Boys and Girls Club intramural sports where we'd play within the city/town. Like there would be 10 soccer teams of 8-9 year old girls so that is who we would play. If you were good you could try out for teams that traveled around the state (my younger sister was on those teams), and those were what cost a lot of money.
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  #18  
September 12th, 2011, 11:54 AM
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I would probably discourage boy scouts because of their extreme views, girl scouts because of the ridiculous competition, football because of the injuries, and cheerleading because of the social impact it seems to have. Oh, and most dancing, because the costumes and make-up bother the crap out of me. But if my kid wanted to do it REALLY bad, I'd let them. I'll also be a parent that requires the kid to see through whatever they start, even if they don't like the activity/sport.

The only thing that gets a hell no, not ever happening, is pageants.
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  #19  
September 12th, 2011, 12:26 PM
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our scouting must be different in canada. it was pretty much focused on being able to take care of your self in a situation than anything else. i've done Girl Guiding and scouting, and I learned quite a bit from both. Everything from sewing, to rope tying.
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  #20  
September 12th, 2011, 12:57 PM
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Originally Posted by ~Tithen~ View Post
our scouting must be different in canada. it was pretty much focused on being able to take care of your self in a situation than anything else. i've done Girl Guiding and scouting, and I learned quite a bit from both. Everything from sewing, to rope tying.
Boy Scouts have pretty extreme views on homosexuality and are extremely judgmental towards homosexuals. Which is why my boyfriend will not let his son in scouts, and if I ever have a boy, will not let my son in boy scouts as well. Any group that looks down upon homosexuals will be a group my children will not be a part of.
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