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  #201  
November 29th, 2011, 09:39 AM
frgsonmysox's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Chris and I both grew up in households where you HAD to eat what was put before you. We have similar tastebuds, so we tend to not make certain items that we don't like. We both hate seafood, we don't make it. I HATE meatloaf with a passion. The rest of the family loves it. We make it frequently, and I eat it with ketchup and my sides. We don't make ourselves something else when we don't like it. We follow the same rules as our kids.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fluffy Baby View Post
I am still baffled that anybody thinks that letting a kid go to bed hungry, even once, is ok.

I am in the mindset that YOU had these kids, now you should feed them every day, at least 3 meals a day. No amount of kids or excuses can justify that to me. You shouldn't have so many kids if you are not willing to take care of them the way they should be taken care of. That is rediculous.
I do feed my kids every day. They make the choice as to whether they want to eat that food or not. There are kids literally dying in my area from starvation. My kids are not. They are lucky enough to have the ability to turn their noses up at a food they don't like. So many others would eat what they were given, or eat worse food than that, to survive. If my kids don't like what I've cooked they are welcome to eat the food they do like and ignore the rest. I will not make them something else.
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  #202  
November 29th, 2011, 01:17 PM
Frackel's Avatar DOh!
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I don't understand how the fact that there are starving kids all over the world(even in this country) somehow justifies sending your kids to bed hungry. You said you'd keep doing it if they kept not eating dinner, even multiple times a week. That is just something I will never understand.
Not when you HAVE the ability to feed your child, more food options, more financial ability to purchase food, etc... than the children who so often go to bed hungry because there simply ISN'T food. Their parents (if they have them) don't have the luxury of being able to make anything, much less something else. You simply can't compare the two.
No one says you have to be a short order cook, or make some elaborate meals with multiple courses for EACH child.
There is a HUGE difference between offering some alternative-even if a light one and not really a full meal, and cooking an entirely different meal with different sides for your child(ren). You don't even have to COOK anything to offer an alternative.
Please, spare the "I don't have time" or "I have too many kids to do that", you're the one who chose to have more kids than you have time for, if that's the case. I hate the "I don't have time" excuse when it's used so frequently. When you're a parent you MAKE time, yep even time to do the things you may not want to do, they're your kids. It's not like you're the only parent in the world, or even this board, with multiple kids, jobs, school, etc...to be taken care of.
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  #203  
November 29th, 2011, 01:32 PM
frgsonmysox's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I never said I didn't have the time. I DID say that with a family my size it wouldn't work because every child would then want something else. Me refusing to make something as an alternative is not a reflection on me not being able to care for my children.

My kids aren't going to STARVE, is my point. They can CHOOSE to go to bed hungry. Other kids don't get that choice. Mine are lucky that they do. If they make that choice so be it. As I've said MANY MANY times, there is always a side dish available that they will eat.
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  #204  
November 29th, 2011, 03:35 PM
KimberlyD0
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Quote:
Originally Posted by K.A.T View Post
Eat something else. I can't count how many times I've eaten something different that what I myself cooked.



We are adults, children are not. We know what we like and don't like already. Kids, however, haven't truly had the time to try all the new foods out there. Also, as a parent, it's a do as I say not as I do. I'm grown and can do what I want, within reason. Kids do not have that privilege until they're grown.
YOU may want them to do what you say, not what you do

the reality is Monkey see, monkey do

You don't try/eat it, why should they? Simple kid logic.
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  #205  
November 29th, 2011, 03:50 PM
*Jillian*'s Avatar Baby #3 on the way
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My kid tries all sorts of foods that I don't. Even if he asks me if I like it I can tell him the truth and he says if he likes it or not based on trying it.

Simple logic of everyone is different.
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  #206  
November 29th, 2011, 04:36 PM
HappyHippy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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^ Same with Jillian. Both my kids eat foods that I don't, or that DH doesn't, and they have foods that only they like and neither of us do. I like foods that they don't. My kids stop imitating me around 18ish months and then form a mind of their own. Simple logic.
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  #207  
November 29th, 2011, 04:52 PM
KimberlyD0
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Sounds like a double standard to me.
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  #208  
November 29th, 2011, 04:58 PM
fluffycheeks's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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My kids aren't monkeys, just sayin'. I love that people that are on the "my kid will eat what I fix or go to bed hungry" side think that people who accommodate their kids every single night. It doesn't work like that.

Beth, I don't think anyone here is arguing with you. You've already said that you provide at least one side for your kids that you know they like. That is accommodating them. I think it's more the people that are saying I fixed it, they'll eat it, like it or not. I do think the starving African children was a bit of a stretch for comparison though. The same argument could be made for a child abuser who only hits their kids some of the time, but it's not that bad because there are other kids who get beaten within an inch of their lives every single day.

As for having too many kids (and when did FOUR! become sooo many anyway?), I grew up in a family with 6 kids. We were expected to eat what my mom ate and we couldn't leave the table until we ate everything we were served. My parents used the starving kids too as an example of why we needed to polish our plates. Sometimes we were allowed to go to bed hungry instead. More than a couple of us had food issues as teens and still into adulthood.
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  #209  
November 29th, 2011, 05:01 PM
HappyHippy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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How is it a double standard to not like something someone else does ? It's called having your own personality, likes and dislikes.
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  #210  
November 29th, 2011, 05:02 PM
Frackel's Avatar DOh!
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My kids absolutely LOVE seafood, I can't stand it, any of it. I make it for them frequently because they love it. I won't eat it, and they know why. There is no double standard. It's reasonable and logical that we won't have the same likes and dislikes. They have dislikes and likes just as much as I do. I wouldn't MAKE them eat something they didn't like any more than I want someone else to MAKE me eat something I can't stand.
Pico de gallo is one of ds' favorite toppings on tons of stuff. The girls don't like it very much(I make it pretty hot for him). They don't have to eat it when it's on the table. Actually, he doesn't have to eat it either, but if he wants it I will gladly give it to him. They're all pretty not picky, actually. But they do have some things they are either "eh" about or really don't like. Why would I want them to eat something they don't like? There's a big difference between tasting food (more than once) to see if you like it and being made to eat it.

My kids really don't like chocolate candy(candy bars and such) they never have. I wouldn't MAKE them eat it any more than I would make them eat any other food item they didn't like. Just because it's a sweet item doesn't change the logic any.

Do you really think your children can't be individuals and have likes or dislikes? You don't have to answer that as you already have. You've said in this thread that you DO cater to their likes and dislikes within the meals you provide. So exactly what is there to be called a double standard here?
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  #211  
November 29th, 2011, 05:03 PM
*Jillian*'s Avatar Baby #3 on the way
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KimberlyD0 View Post
Sounds like a double standard to me.
What? Do you know what double standard means?

Nobody is forcing my kid to eat foods. He tries them and eats what he likes. We go out to eat every weekend and his dad will have food on his plate that Grady is honestly curious to try. Sometimes he asks for more and sometimes he hates it. He knows that I don't eat a variety of things and he is isn't phased by it. He knows his daddy will eat anything and he also knows that he is somewhere in between.
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  #212  
November 29th, 2011, 05:05 PM
Tammyjh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KimberlyD0 View Post
YOU may want them to do what you say, not what you do

the reality is Monkey see, monkey do

You don't try/eat it, why should they? Simple kid logic.
I eat pickles in front of my kids and not one of the 4 like pickles at all.
My father drank coffee in front of me all. the. time. I have always hated coffee. I also understood that at our house, coffee was for adults and not children. Adding that my parents/grandparents ate vegetables in front of me for most meals and eggs for breakfast. I am still picky on vegetables and I do not eat eggs unless they are cooked in something. So, its not always monkey see monkey do.
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  #213  
November 29th, 2011, 05:08 PM
*Jillian*'s Avatar Baby #3 on the way
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Yeah, in most debates you find that an all or nothing approach gets you no where. If you act like everyone is the same then there is no debate or room to learn about how other people are.

This attitude that all children do exactly what their parents do isn't true across the board for a lot of things, not just eating.
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  #214  
November 29th, 2011, 05:09 PM
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My kids pick their own breakfast and lunch.

For dinner a few different things happen. Some nights they get to pick their own-usually for nights we leave at 5 to get my oldest to his religious education class or if we are having steak-something I KNOW they won't eat. Some nights they modify the "normal" way to have something. For instance my oldest eats only plain spaghetti noodles and my middle kiddo eats only the meat sauce. If they try to say they don't like it, that doesn't fly, they have eaten it plenty of times before without problem. Then other nights they are offered dinner like a meat, carb and a veggie. They can eat any part of it. Some nights they eat it without problem, other nights they complain. We used to force our oldest to eat a few bites, but after a few vomiting incidents decided he could choose to eat it or not. My oldest always has to have ketchup on his meat (even on his turkey for Thanksgiving ICK!), but he eats it. My boys have gone thru times where they didn't want any of it. If they try everything and say they don't like it then I will give them something like a piece or toast, granola bar or banana. But I typically don't make them something else. Not enough to be a full meal, but enough where they won't wake up in the middle of the night.
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  #215  
November 29th, 2011, 05:38 PM
KimberlyD0
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MommaBee View Post
How is it a double standard to not like something someone else does ? It's called having your own personality, likes and dislikes.

The whole concept of "Do as I say, not as I do" is a double standard.
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  #216  
November 29th, 2011, 05:41 PM
*Jillian*'s Avatar Baby #3 on the way
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Kimberly, if they LIKE the food then you aren't forcing a situation. You are letting them have the freedom to choose. And why would anyone force a child to be picky if they are picky? Just like, why would anyone not let their kid try a variety in case they like it?
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  #217  
November 29th, 2011, 05:44 PM
HappyHippy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KimberlyD0 View Post
The whole concept of "Do as I say, not as I do" is a double standard.
Well we don't live by that concept in our house. Our concept is lets enjoy food and life and try new things, and if we like them lets eat them again, and if we don't, no biggie, plenty of other foods to try.
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  #218  
November 29th, 2011, 06:31 PM
fluffycheeks's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KimberlyD0 View Post
Sounds like a double standard to me.
I would say that you getting to eat whatever you want to make for dinner and you forcing your kid to eat whatever YOU want for dinner seems like a double standard to me.
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  #219  
November 29th, 2011, 06:40 PM
Frackel's Avatar DOh!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KimberlyD0 View Post
The whole concept of "Do as I say, not as I do" is a double standard.
DO you honestly expect people to believe there are no "I can do this, but you cannot" things in your household?
Yeah, that would be bullspunk. There are lots of things parents do, that kids cannot. There are a myriad of reasons as to why kids cannot do something their parents can do.(you can substitute would not, could not and should not in there too).

I ask nothing more of my children at meal time than I expect(ask?) of myself. Try it, if you don't like it, you don't have to eat it. ALL of the things I don't like, save the ones I am actually allergic to, I have tried. My kids have seen me try. I absolutely loathe seafood with every ounce of me. But there are STILL occasions I try it. Why? To show my kids that you can try something, not like it, and nothing bad is going to happen to you, I guess. I'm not going to make them eat something just because I like it, that's absurd. They wouldn't try and make me eat my seafood, knowing I don't like it.
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  #220  
November 29th, 2011, 07:04 PM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KimberlyD0 View Post
YOU may want them to do what you say, not what you do

the reality is Monkey see, monkey do

You don't try/eat it, why should they? Simple kid logic.
Just like refusing food doesn't fly in your house, monkey see monkey do doesn't fly in mine. I can get very militant with my kids and they understand that what adults do are not things kids should do. Just like your reality is that your kids will eat what you put in front of them...my reality is that my kids do what I tell them to do.

Quote:
Originally Posted by KimberlyD0 View Post
Sounds like a double standard to me.
So what if it is? You mean to tell me that you put your kids on the same level as you and your spouse? I'm sorry, but I expect my kids to understand that they are children and not grown adults. Therefore, there are rules that are not fair for them. Perfect example, early bed times when I can go to bed when I please. If you put your kids on the same exact level playing field, you're only asking for trouble once they're older.
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