Log In Sign Up

Public Humiliation for Punishing Teens


Forum: Heated Debates

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Heated Debates LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
January 12th, 2012, 08:25 AM
Fluffy Baby's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: SW FL
Posts: 8,785
Public Humiliation Is a Handy Punishment for Moms of Teens | The Stir



Do you think public humiliation for teens works?
Is it an appropiate punishment? If so, how young would you say was to young?



*************
I am not sure about this yet. I wish I knew more about the family's background.
__________________
Leann <3 Hector
My trio: Alyssa 7, Tristan 4.75, Gavin 1.5

I am a mixture of all that and a bag of chips... IJS



Rest In Peace Jennifer <3



Reply With Quote
  #2  
January 12th, 2012, 08:50 AM
BittyBugsMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 1,317
It might work, it might also result in him hating his mother forever or just murdering her (literally). I don't think I'd use this technique with my kids because I was raised in a household where demeaning and humiliation was considered discipline and I know how it affected me. I'd say at 14 he knows what he is doing is wrong and he is "age appropriate" for this kind of punishment but that is hard to determine, maturity is different for each person at each age. I know adults who still act like 8th graders and 8th graders who are more mature than the aforementioned adults.
__________________
~Alicia~
Reply With Quote
  #3  
January 12th, 2012, 09:33 AM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: NYC
Posts: 13,499
I can't read the article from work. I'm not a fan of public humiliation. But it really depends on how far the parents went. So I will have to give a better opinion on this later on.
__________________

❤ Big Thanks to Vicki, trishosaurus, & Shortcake for the great siggies of my kids! ❤
Liz (36) Kev (35)
Tiana (16) Doni (14) Lil Kev (8) Ethan 7/23/12 Lil Roo 10/29/11



Reply With Quote
  #4  
January 12th, 2012, 09:53 AM
Tammyjh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: North
Posts: 7,824
Quote:
Originally Posted by K.A.T View Post
I can't read the article from work. I'm not a fan of public humiliation. But it really depends on how far the parents went. So I will have to give a better opinion on this later on.
Here's the basics.
Quote:
Dynesha Lax has lost control of her 14-year-old son. She says her son has already been convicted of multiple felonies and the courts aren't changing things. Finally, in a fit of desperation, Lax forced her son to stand on a high traffic street in Fort Wayne, Indiana wearing a sign: "I lie, I steal, I sell drugs, I donít follow the law.
Just like any other form of punishment/consequences, its hard to say if this will change his behavior or not but I don't fault mom for trying it. He has a great facial expression.
__________________
Tammy, Mom to
Abby (19), Kacie (13), Chase (11), & Jacob (7)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"...They're supposed to make you miserable! That's why they're family!" ~ Bobby ~ Supernatural
Reply With Quote
  #5  
January 12th, 2012, 10:27 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 8,927
I'm against public humiliation. I can't see how this will change his behavior. It's not like he cared before what other people think. Why would this make him care now?

But I don't fault her for trying something in utter desperation. I do wonder if the kid has been to counseling. I'm guessing he has some sort of mental illness.
__________________
Kris

My 2 miracles: Lucinda & Noah
Reply With Quote
  #6  
January 12th, 2012, 10:35 AM
BittyBugsMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 1,317
Quote:
Originally Posted by My2miracles View Post
I'm against public humiliation. I can't see how this will change his behavior. It's not like he cared before what other people think. Why would this make him care now?

But I don't fault her for trying something in utter desperation. I do wonder if the kid has been to counseling. I'm guessing he has some sort of mental illness.
Why would you think that?
__________________
~Alicia~
Reply With Quote
  #7  
January 12th, 2012, 10:44 AM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: NYC
Posts: 13,499
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tammyjh View Post
Here's the basics.
Just like any other form of punishment/consequences, its hard to say if this will change his behavior or not but I don't fault mom for trying it. He has a great facial expression.
OK that doesn't seem as bad as some of the other things some parents have done. Don't know if I would do that. I can see why she did it. That is pure desperation. Maybe it will do something, but I doubt it.
__________________

❤ Big Thanks to Vicki, trishosaurus, & Shortcake for the great siggies of my kids! ❤
Liz (36) Kev (35)
Tiana (16) Doni (14) Lil Kev (8) Ethan 7/23/12 Lil Roo 10/29/11



Reply With Quote
  #8  
January 12th, 2012, 10:48 AM
Repti.Mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 15,468
I'm gonna say that in her case it's probably justified. She's fed up with him, so she gave him a punishment she felt fit. What else was she going to do, spank him and go to jail herself?
Also going to say that it's probably too late already in his situation. Wearing a sign after he's only been given a slap on the wrist by the law several times, which has taught him nothing except that mommy has to pay his fines, isn't going to do anything. He'll be back in trouble in no time, and will probably spend most of his adult life in prison.
__________________







Reply With Quote
  #9  
January 12th, 2012, 11:01 AM
Poncho06's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 3,040
I honestly commend her for trying something unconventional to help her child. It seems like all other routes have been exhausted.

Frankly if I were in her shoe's I'd rather do this and have my child hate me for it later than do nothing and have my child love me from behind bars.
__________________




Reply With Quote
  #10  
January 12th, 2012, 11:08 AM
fluffycheeks's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 3,207
My first thought was NOOOOOO! That is not the way to discipline a child. And then I read the article, and he has multiple felonies at age 14. I think this mom is feeling desperate and willing to try anything to keep her kid out of prison. I can't say that I blame her.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
January 12th, 2012, 01:02 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 8,927
Quote:
Originally Posted by BittyBugsMama View Post
Why would you think that?
Because he has multiple felonies at age 14. Something is definitely wrong. Often kids who get into trouble at young ages are suffering from undiagnosed mental illness.
__________________
Kris

My 2 miracles: Lucinda & Noah
Reply With Quote
  #12  
January 12th, 2012, 01:14 PM
BittyBugsMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 1,317
Quote:
Originally Posted by My2miracles View Post
Because he has multiple felonies at age 14. Something is definitely wrong. Often kids who get into trouble at young ages are suffering from undiagnosed mental illness.
Or they are a product of their environment. Selling drugs, stealing, skipping school, B&E, auto theft, etc - that was all just part of the gig in the area where I grew up. Fort Wayne (where he is from) isn't that much different from where I grew up.
__________________
~Alicia~
Reply With Quote
  #13  
January 12th, 2012, 02:08 PM
glasscandie's Avatar What I make is what I am
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Near Washington, DC
Posts: 15,982
Send a message via AIM to glasscandie Send a message via Yahoo to glasscandie
I guess my concern here is in the future, when he's an adult and trying to find a job. What if a potential employer comes across this? I believe his childhood record wouldn't have to be turned over to an employer (I'm not sure if that counts for felonies or not tho), but this is now all over the news and internet...
__________________
I predict a riot.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
January 12th, 2012, 04:35 PM
HappyHippy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Pavia, Italy
Posts: 5,959
This isn't that bad, so I don't really see anything wrong with this one. But I'm normally not a fan of humiliation, that can have some bad consequences to the child and backfire big. If this child is involved with gangs or drugs I hope mom tries to get him help. Maybe he needs to be sent off to a private school that helps kids who come from bad neighborhoods. I think that may have a better affect on him.
__________________
Mama to G, L & twins F & M
Started off 2013 homebirthing suprise twins Fia Celesta & Maddalena Isabella
Reply With Quote
  #15  
January 13th, 2012, 06:15 AM
razzledobe's Avatar <3
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 2,938
I always have this feeling in the back of my mind that when I critique parenting that i'm somehow going to jinx myself! So i'll begin with a general disclaimer that there are no absolutes in parenting which is something I think we all know anyways... so here goes...

I think there is a difference between stigma and downright humilliation. Like everything in life there is a balance... I see a disturbing trend in many parents now wanting to shield their precious suzy Q from ever thinking that they have any morsel of responsibility for making a bad age appropriate decision. Instead, it's the teachers fault, societies fault, the school, a mysterious undiagnosed illness etc. it drives me insane! I'm a big believer in short term pain = long term gain. if that involves a little public stigma now and then - so be it.

Yes, I have doled out a public punishment to my nephews after they've been fairly warned. It was embarassing to them and I hated to do it- but it was effective. Sometimes we have to play on someones outright fear of embarassment. It's a surprising but effective way to not just TELL but SHOW someone what is right and wrong. Sometimes the feeling they had of being called out on their behavior is what really teaches the lesson.

Now, if you ALWAYS resort to some sort of public humilliation as your number one route to discipline, then to me it is just as ineffective as any other method that is the sole and only method of discipline. If you ALWAYS yell at your kid the same way regardless of a minor or major infraction... well the kid is eventually going to learn that whether it's a little screw up or a big one they're gonna get yelled at big time. so may as well go big or go home meaning may as well push the boundaries as far as you can.

In this instance, who knows if it is too little too late. So much info that we don't know. Was mom absent with her kid early on and ineffective at disiplinning him as a small child which is why he was committing so many crimes at such an early age? If so - i dont blame her for doing what she is doing, but one could argue that it is probably too little too late. But us moms never give up on our kids so why can really say?
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #16  
January 13th, 2012, 10:48 AM
mayandsofiasmommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: CA
Posts: 12,545
I teach kids like this- or more so ones that are going down that path. Humiliation won't work. He is likely involved in a gang. Cure poverty and you will see a huge decrease in gangs and teens doing these things.

The parents also need to look at how their home is structured. The mom probably needs more education about programs that are available.

Quote:
Originally Posted by My2miracles View Post
Because he has multiple felonies at age 14. Something is definitely wrong. Often kids who get into trouble at young ages are suffering from undiagnosed mental illness.
I doubt this teen has a mental illness. More like in a gang, living in poverty, etc.
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #17  
January 13th, 2012, 11:30 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 8,927
Quote:
Originally Posted by BittyBugsMama View Post
Or they are a product of their environment. Selling drugs, stealing, skipping school, B&E, auto theft, etc - that was all just part of the gig in the area where I grew up. Fort Wayne (where he is from) isn't that much different from where I grew up.
That is a possibility as well.
__________________
Kris

My 2 miracles: Lucinda & Noah
Reply With Quote
  #18  
January 13th, 2012, 05:14 PM
HappyHippy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Pavia, Italy
Posts: 5,959
Quote:
Originally Posted by mayandsofiasmommy View Post
I teach kids like this- or more so ones that are going down that path. Humiliation won't work. He is likely involved in a gang. Cure poverty and you will see a huge decrease in gangs and teens doing these things.

The parents also need to look at how their home is structured. The mom probably needs more education about programs that are available.



I doubt this teen has a mental illness. More like in a gang, living in poverty, etc.
I totally agree
__________________
Mama to G, L & twins F & M
Started off 2013 homebirthing suprise twins Fia Celesta & Maddalena Isabella
Reply With Quote
  #19  
January 13th, 2012, 05:51 PM
glasscandie's Avatar What I make is what I am
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Near Washington, DC
Posts: 15,982
Send a message via AIM to glasscandie Send a message via Yahoo to glasscandie
Quote:
Originally Posted by mayandsofiasmommy View Post
I teach kids like this- or more so ones that are going down that path. Humiliation won't work. He is likely involved in a gang. Cure poverty and you will see a huge decrease in gangs and teens doing these things.

The parents also need to look at how their home is structured. The mom probably needs more education about programs that are available.



I doubt this teen has a mental illness. More like in a gang, living in poverty, etc.
...How do you cure poverty...
__________________
I predict a riot.
Reply With Quote
  #20  
January 13th, 2012, 07:28 PM
mayandsofiasmommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: CA
Posts: 12,545
Quote:
Originally Posted by glasscandie View Post
...How do you cure poverty...
Now that's a whole different debate!
__________________

Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:49 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0