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"Gay by choice"


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  #1  
January 28th, 2012, 01:44 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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Actress' claim to be gay by choice riles activists - Yahoo! omg!


Please read the article in entirety and then provide your comments. Do you agree that her choice of words could have major ramifications on future people who wish to finally let it be known their sexual preference as the article states?









My opinion: the actress dislikes the term Bisexual, so instead chooses to say she's "gay by choice". I have always viewed Bisexuality as a choice. Why? Because there is an attraction to both sides, and you have to decide which side you're going to pursue. Being Bi myself, I know I made the conscious decision to choose my husband. I cannot remember the term an old friend used on me, but basically everything except my libido is straight, I am not a classic Bisexual as I've never wanted to form an emotional attachment to a female I've been attracted to.

I do think the actress's poor choice of words are going to make it a bit hard for people just as the article says. I know if I came out to my family (which I never have, and probably never will, it's not relevant to them at t his point) someone would have seen this on E-talk or something of the like and had a comment about how it's a choice so and so said so. She dislikes Bi-sexual, so she refuses to admit she is bi-sexual. While she CHOSE to be with a woman over men, she did not choose her sexual preference, that is decided for her, she only gets to make the decision on how to act on it.
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  #2  
January 28th, 2012, 03:06 PM
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I like this comment by her: I understand that for many people it's not, but for me it's a choice, and you don't get to define my gayness for me.

I think for the VAST majority, they are born that way and just "know". I think it would be silly to suggest that this rule applies to every singe gay person ever. Of course people can still have a choice. Perhaps she started out liking men, but something happened and she just changed her mind. I can understand the point that it seems she is just bisexual, but like she said, why is it up to other people to put her in a certain box.
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  #3  
January 28th, 2012, 03:53 PM
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I think you are right about her being bi-sexual and simply choosing which side she prefers. I am a bi-sexual but I have made the choice to be with men over women, so I guess that could be called "straight by choice." I don't see why it would have big ramifications on the gay community, everyone becomes conscious of their sexuality at some point. Some are gay, some are straight, some are bi and I don't see how the process of someone becoming conscious of that should have any affect on any of those communities. Maybe some people do choose to be gay, so what? Does that make them any less gay? I don't think so.
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  #4  
January 28th, 2012, 05:18 PM
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A part of me thinks all women are bisexual.
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  #5  
January 28th, 2012, 10:34 PM
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I'm not real sure why people think her words will have any ramifications for others. They're her words, her choices, they apply to her...end of story.

Not like she's painting everyone with her brush. Nope, she's painting herself. At least she's owning her choice and her words. For some, it's not a choice. For her, it is a choice. Not real sure what's wrong with that. Or why anyone should be worried about the impact her words will have on others, present or future. They're not even about others.
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  #6  
January 29th, 2012, 11:23 AM
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^ I agree with Frackel. I just watched a documentary last night about being gay, it was more towards religious stuff. It was called For the Bible Tells Me So.
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  #7  
January 29th, 2012, 11:46 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hey... Where's Perry? View Post
A part of me thinks all women are bisexual.
Not me. I appreciate that women can be pretty, but I don't even want to make out with one. Just not for me. No thanks.
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  #8  
January 30th, 2012, 05:15 PM
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WATCH OUT PEOPLE. Cynthia Nixon just ruined the entire gay rights movement with just one sentence.
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  #9  
January 30th, 2012, 09:23 PM
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I saw one comment on the article and had to laugh. Someone said "I think the gay community should learn a little TOLERANCE!"

She said FOR HERSELF being gay was a choice. In no way did she say that everyone who is gay chooses to be gay. She felt love and lust for men, and love and lust for women, and chose to be in a relationship with a woman.

The way the gay community is acting over this is ridiculous.

One could say, and other posters here have touched on this, that if you are bisexual, choosing to be in a relationship with a person of the same sex is being gay by choice. Just like being in a relationship with the opposite sex is being straight by choice. But then again, you can't help who you fall in love with.

I still fail to see how one person defines herself in turn defines the whole. That just doesn't make sense.
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  #10  
January 30th, 2012, 09:24 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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But to me there is a difference. You cannot choose your sexual preference, it's a biological part of you. You can certainly choose who you hook up with.. but that doesn't make you Gay.

If she's gay by choice, really she should say "I'm straight, but I prefer the company of women over men"... because it's not a choice.
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  #11  
January 30th, 2012, 10:34 PM
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I think some people do very much believe they are making a choice and I strongly believe no one has the right to take that away from them...even verbally. To be a bit blunt, I think it's arrogant for anyone to say they get to dictate what others choose, like that, to be honest. It's likely to even piss some people off. It's not your life, your mind, your body, how on earth do you know what's going on inside it? You can make a good guess, maybe. You can state what your opinion on the whole "how people get to be...(insert whatever here), but that's all it is...your opinion.

If someone wants to say "I choose to be gay", or "I choose to be female", or " I choose to be yellow with purple spots"....I say whatever tickles your pickle, and more power to you. Be whatever you want, it's your life
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  #12  
January 31st, 2012, 10:48 AM
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For some it is a choice. And who the heck are we to determine otherwise? Just like when people know they're gay. Who are we to say they chose that lifestyle? We are no one and have no right to dictate another persons sexual preference. If she feels she's gay by choice. So be it. Deal with it and move on. It has no effect on you as a person. And it has no effect on the gay community. It's not like she turned around and said I'm gay by choice just like all gay people are. She said she understood that for most it's not a choice, but for her it is. How is she wrong?
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  #13  
January 31st, 2012, 11:17 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by *Jillian* View Post
Not me. I appreciate that women can be pretty, but I don't even want to make out with one. Just not for me. No thanks.

Same here. No interest sexually in woman. I was born with a need for male interaction.
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  #14  
January 31st, 2012, 11:24 AM
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Originally Posted by Linzie View Post
I saw one comment on the article and had to laugh. Someone said "I think the gay community should learn a little TOLERANCE!"

She said FOR HERSELF being gay was a choice. In no way did she say that everyone who is gay chooses to be gay. She felt love and lust for men, and love and lust for women, and chose to be in a relationship with a woman.

The way the gay community is acting over this is ridiculous.

One could say, and other posters here have touched on this, that if you are bisexual, choosing to be in a relationship with a person of the same sex is being gay by choice. Just like being in a relationship with the opposite sex is being straight by choice. But then again, you can't help who you fall in love with.

I still fail to see how one person defines herself in turn defines the whole. That just doesn't make sense.

The problem is that for decades these people were told it was a choice & they could choose not to be gay when indeed it wasn't true. Cynthia Nixon is a public figure and as such unfortunately as wrong as it is, her words hold wait to people. I can just hear some hyper religious mom telling her daughter right now "Well that actress said it's a choice. So you need to choose to be straight" For most it isn't a choice.

I liken it to.... I was born with blue eyes. It wasn't a choice. I got them. Now I can go buy contacts that will change my eye color to brown. That's a choice. I can present myself as a person with brown eyes. But in reality I have blue eyes. I believe Cynthia Nixon is bi & her choice is to stick to one or another partner at different times in her life. I was born straight. I couldn't choose to be a lesbian. I just couldn't. There's nothing wrong with it but I'm just not attracted to women. But I could see how someone who has bi tendencies could make the dc
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  #15  
January 31st, 2012, 02:16 PM
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If a parent ever says to their child "well so and so says it's a choice", that parent is a nitwit.
People need to stop putting so much faith and dependence upon what "public figures" say and/or do. They're still human. They'll still say things and do things that only apply to them. Your argument would only make sense if she said her words apply to more than just her. She, however, did not. In fact she did the best thing, given the scenario, she could possibly do and was quite clear that her words applied to HER only. If others misconstrue that, it's on them. All their fault, not hers.
Of course people in the public eye, be it celebrity, or not, have opinions that hold water with others(I assume that's what you mean, please correct me if wrong). That's why they should choose what they say carefully. She did exactly that and is STILL being branded the bad guy.
Personally I think people need to stop being idiots, and think for themselves.
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  #16  
February 1st, 2012, 02:29 PM
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Well the reality is there are a lot of nitwits in the world. And unfortunately a lot of people do listen to celebrities. Sad but true. That's why every time I watch a tv show On Demand, I have to sit through a commercial of some athlete guy talking to women about heart disease in women. Totally insulting & annoying not to mention that I don't think he's good looking at all.

Btw she has now corrected her self & said she is bi & chooses to be in a a gay relationship.
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  #17  
February 1st, 2012, 03:26 PM
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Originally Posted by My2miracles View Post
Well the reality is there are a lot of nitwits in the world. And unfortunately a lot of people do listen to celebrities. Sad but true. That's why every time I watch a tv show On Demand, I have to sit through a commercial of some athlete guy talking to women about heart disease in women. Totally insulting & annoying not to mention that I don't think he's good looking at all.

Btw she has now corrected her self & said she is bi & chooses to be in a a gay relationship.
And it's because of the nitwits in the world that she's had to "correct" herself. She didn't really correct herself though, she was never wrong to begin with. She amended her statement because idiots make mountains out of molehills and get people riled up over absolutely nothing. She became the newest target to attack because of the actions of those idiots. I find that sad. I find it even sadder that we accept the nitwits of the world and think they ought to dictate what people are allowed to say and/or do. A very sad trend. Why don't we educate the idiots instead. Then people in the public eye might just get the chance to be humans too.

I'm not really sure what your example has to do with this. I don't find it insulting to see a man(don't care if he's an athlete, a doctor, or a hobo, personally, I care even less about how he looks) discussing heart disease in women. As long as the info he is providing is factual, why would it be insulting? Not like he's saying he's a woman with heart disease for crying out loud, lol. But you have proven exactly why the nitwits of the world so often win.
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  #18  
February 1st, 2012, 05:31 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by My2miracles View Post
The problem is that for decades these people were told it was a choice & they could choose not to be gay when indeed it wasn't true. Cynthia Nixon is a public figure and as such unfortunately as wrong as it is, her words hold wait to people. I can just hear some hyper religious mom telling her daughter right now "Well that actress said it's a choice. So you need to choose to be straight" For most it isn't a choice.

I liken it to.... I was born with blue eyes. It wasn't a choice. I got them. Now I can go buy contacts that will change my eye color to brown. That's a choice. I can present myself as a person with brown eyes. But in reality I have blue eyes. I believe Cynthia Nixon is bi & her choice is to stick to one or another partner at different times in her life. I was born straight. I couldn't choose to be a lesbian. I just couldn't. There's nothing wrong with it but I'm just not attracted to women. But I could see how someone who has bi tendencies could make the dc
So you're saying she has to lie about her preferences? Say she doesn't have a choice when she, personally, feels that she does? Isn't that taking a step back? Isn't the whole gay movement about acceptance of others choices and lifestyles?

Kinda hypocritical.. that's pretty much saying, if you are gay you have to be gay THIS WAY, and no way else!
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  #19  
February 1st, 2012, 07:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Linzie View Post
So you're saying she has to lie about her preferences? Say she doesn't have a choice when she, personally, feels that she does? Isn't that taking a step back? Isn't the whole gay movement about acceptance of others choices and lifestyles?

Kinda hypocritical.. that's pretty much saying, if you are gay you have to be gay THIS WAY, and no way else!
Next thing you know it will be an all out
"My gay is better than your gay" movement.
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  #20  
February 2nd, 2012, 12:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Linzie View Post
So you're saying she has to lie about her preferences? Say she doesn't have a choice when she, personally, feels that she does? Isn't that taking a step back? Isn't the whole gay movement about acceptance of others choices and lifestyles?

Kinda hypocritical.. that's pretty much saying, if you are gay you have to be gay THIS WAY, and no way else!

ummm no..... have no idea where you got that from
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