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  #1  
February 4th, 2012, 08:14 PM
HappyHippy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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What's your take on them? Only for certain things, send them always, waste of paper?
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  #2  
February 4th, 2012, 11:49 PM
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I send them a lot. My kids make and send them a lot. It's just in our nature. We're pretty thankful people. In fact, we likely annoy people at times by doing it, but that's ok. I'd rather annoy them by thanking them, than make them feel as if we lack manners by not thanking them.
Not all are on paper. An electronic thank you, a phone call-they can mean just as much as a handwritten note/card can. Not everything needs a written thank you. A spoken one sometimes will suffice. It depends entirely on the situation.

I think folks who believe in even saying thank you these days are a dying breed. But then manners aren't what they used to be in general. So I'm not surprised. Adults with little to no manners all too often have children with little to no manners(and then they wonder why little Jimmy is such an ungrateful snot).
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  #3  
February 5th, 2012, 09:51 AM
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Verbal thank you's are far more sincere. I only send a thank you card if I didn't get a chance to say thank you to their face(s). For example, Jace had a kid rsvp to his party but at the last minute, he came down with a cold and did not come. Later at school, they still brought a present and left it at Jace's cubby. I left a thank you card for them the next day.
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  #4  
February 5th, 2012, 09:57 AM
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I send a personal thank you note for things I got from showers. I don't do it for kid's bday parties or more casual events.

I think it's nice to send a note saying how much that particular thing can help you. I know it's old fashioned, but I do a lot of things that way. I also thank them in person. It's just that "thanks again, I appreciate you doing that for me" kind of thing.

And maybe this is regional. It's common in the South. Maybe not so much in other areas of the country. I don't know.
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  #5  
February 5th, 2012, 10:47 AM
Tammyjh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I don't send paper thank you notes because I am lazy and stingy with my $. I do thank people through email and phone calls though.
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  #7  
February 5th, 2012, 12:07 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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I was very torn over this when we were planning on doing a wedding this summer. Postage isn't cheap, especially when most of them would be going international (almost $1 an envelope). I probably would have tracked everyone down one at a time, either phone, email, Facebook, anything and send them a message (privately) thanking them for the gift. If I was unable to do that, then yes I would have sent a card saying thank you.

But considering we ruled out doing save the date cards because they'd have cost me over a hundred bucks just to mail them, thank you cards were deemed in the same "not going to happen" category. (as it was, my family was being tasked with hand delivering over 1/2 the invites.. as is custom in our little neck of the woods)
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  #8  
February 5th, 2012, 04:08 PM
HappyHippy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I only send thank you notes for big evens like a wedding, baby shower, blessingway, things like that. I kind of think it's a waste of paper, because many people just throw them away and/or don't even care. In my family and friends we prefer in person thank yous over written ones. So that is what we do, and my boys always say thank you after each gift they open during Christmas and birthdays.
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  #9  
February 6th, 2012, 08:49 AM
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I only do them for big events. For small casual ones, I don't see the need. A simple verbal thank you should suffice.
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  #10  
February 6th, 2012, 11:33 AM
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I'm big on thank you notes. I send them for big things like weddings and showers. I don't get much from other people for my birthday so I don't do it then. I am teaching my children to send thank you notes from their birthday parties though especially if they received a gift from someone who was unable to attend the party.

I'd find it incredibly rude for someone not to send a thank you note for a wedding gift. People generally aren't giving just a card and a $5 gift at a wedding. Most people I know gift at least $50. The very least someone can do is to spend $1 or whatever to send a thank you card. If you feel that you aren't able to do that I would state on the invitations "No gifts please."
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  #11  
February 6th, 2012, 12:06 PM
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I definitely sent written Thank You's for my wedding & shower gifts. I'd like to for the kids birthdays but now that they are in school, I don't have the parents addresses. The common practice here is to give a generic Thank You card in the goody bag at kids parties. I find that impersonal so I make a point of verbally thanking each parent as they pick up their child.
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  #12  
February 6th, 2012, 12:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by My2miracles View Post
I definitely sent written Thank You's for my wedding & shower gifts. I'd like to for the kids birthdays but now that they are in school, I don't have the parents addresses. The common practice here is to give a generic Thank You card in the goody bag at kids parties. I find that impersonal so I make a point of verbally thanking each parent as they pick up their child.
I didn't even think about that and I do like that idea. Thanks.
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  #13  
February 6th, 2012, 04:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SusieQ2 View Post
I'm big on thank you notes. I send them for big things like weddings and showers. I don't get much from other people for my birthday so I don't do it then. I am teaching my children to send thank you notes from their birthday parties though especially if they received a gift from someone who was unable to attend the party.

I'd find it incredibly rude for someone not to send a thank you note for a wedding gift. People generally aren't giving just a card and a $5 gift at a wedding. Most people I know gift at least $50. The very least someone can do is to spend $1 or whatever to send a thank you card. If you feel that you aren't able to do that I would state on the invitations "No gifts please."
Ditto. Call me old fashioned, but I try to send thank you cards for everything. The feeling that it is too much work or too expensive to afford postage is kind of appalling to me. I can almost guarantee that they put more time and money into your gift than you ever would into a note.
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  #14  
February 6th, 2012, 07:57 PM
HappyHippy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fluffycheeks View Post
Ditto. Call me old fashioned, but I try to send thank you cards for everything. The feeling that it is too much work or too expensive to afford postage is kind of appalling to me. I can almost guarantee that they put more time and money into your gift than you ever would into a note.
I think it's regional, because people here don't really care for thank you notes, they like verbal thank yous instead. And for most kid parties I've been to there was a pretty cheap limit. I doubt the mom who got ds1 crayons put a lot of thought or money into that. Just saying.
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  #15  
February 6th, 2012, 08:48 PM
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I've never known anyone that sent Thanks you's that didn't also say "thank you" at the time of the gift giving. It's sort of assumed you are thanking people in person too.
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  #16  
February 7th, 2012, 03:49 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by *Jillian* View Post
I've never known anyone that sent Thanks you's that didn't also say "thank you" at the time of the gift giving. It's sort of assumed you are thanking people in person too.
In my example, I sent a thank you card without saying it in person. I haven't come in contact with the kid's parents since we drop our rugrats off at different times

I assume Jace said thank you in person though (or her better have )
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  #17  
February 7th, 2012, 07:55 AM
Tammyjh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fluffycheeks View Post
Ditto. Call me old fashioned, but I try to send thank you cards for everything. The feeling that it is too much work or too expensive to afford postage is kind of appalling to me. I can almost guarantee that they put more time and money into your gift than you ever would into a note.
It depends on the occasion. I'm sure I spend more $ purchasing invitations, cake, ice cream, and snacks, party favors, decorations, etc... for 10 to 20 people than a guest spends on a gift for my child. The people we invite are fine with not getting a thank you card in the mail. We usually thank people in person, over the phone, or by email. They are all fine with it and they do the same. Big events are another matter and I did sent TY's for wedding/shower gifts.
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  #18  
February 7th, 2012, 12:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyHippy View Post
I think it's regional, because people here don't really care for thank you notes, they like verbal thank yous instead. And for most kid parties I've been to there was a pretty cheap limit. I doubt the mom who got ds1 crayons put a lot of thought or money into that. Just saying.
The applalling comment more came from the person who said it was too expensive to pay for thank you notes for her wedding. I do think a verbal thank you is probably sufficient for a dollar store kids gift, like your example. But a wedding gift? Send the freaking note! I do make my kid write thank yous for their bday gifts though. I don't let them play with them until they do. I think it's a good thing for them to learn. Gratitude can't be overdone, IMO.
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  #19  
February 7th, 2012, 04:30 PM
HappyHippy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Originally Posted by fluffycheeks View Post
The applalling comment more came from the person who said it was too expensive to pay for thank you notes for her wedding. I do think a verbal thank you is probably sufficient for a dollar store kids gift, like your example. But a wedding gift? Send the freaking note! I do make my kid write thank yous for their bday gifts though. I don't let them play with them until they do. I think it's a good thing for them to learn. Gratitude can't be overdone, IMO.
Right I agree with big things like a wedding. I don't think you need to write a card to show gratitude, manners, respect, etc. I personally don't get why have a child say thank you and then write a note. Like I said, it's probably regional. I know the south is big on things like this, but in the north where I live, people don't really care for little cards, they like in-person thank yous better for birthday party stuff. I do make sure my kids say thank you to every one of their guests, but a thank you card for a kids party is a bit much IMO.

And to the suggestion of putting thank you notes in the goody bags, that seems to be less personal than a verbal thank you.

ETA: I don't get why a kid has to write out notes prior to playing with their new gifts. It's their day, the one day where they get to feel like the most special person in the world. I think notes could wait the next day, doesn't make them less greatful. After the guests leaves, to me, it's now the point where they get to really play with their stuff and see what they got. Writing thank you notes is kinda raining on their parade.
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Last edited by HappyHippy; February 7th, 2012 at 05:24 PM.
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  #20  
February 7th, 2012, 07:01 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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That's be me. And no, spending $1000 of my $6000 wedding budget on pieces of paper that would be thrown away didn't sit well. That's what it would have cost me to do save the dates (which most likely would have been necessary), invites and thanks yous.... It boiled down to what was more important, and we chose to pay for the party's clothing because with out doing so, the people we wanted wouldn't have been able to do so. And since the wedding was being thrown for THEIR benefit not OURS, it wasn't high on my list of priorities. The minute my mom said it wasn't important to her we called it off.



I've never gotten one from a wedding I've attended. I've always gotten a verbal thank you and that's always been fine for me. Weddings are expensive and I'd rather a bride keep her money for her life than send me a card thanking me. And my mom said she's only ever gotten one or two in her lifetime...and they happened to be from weddings she stood in.
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