Rsvp

Hey... Where's Perry? · #1 February 5th, 2012, 08:59 AM

The "thank you note" thread reminded me to start this topic:

Jace's birthday party was a few weeks ago and we invited 13 kids. Out of the 13, two rsvp'd yes, and two rsvp'd no. NINE of them didn't rsvp at all. I was flippin' pissed. I had Jace's party at a jumpy house place and spent $270.00 (for Jace and his two best friends), but probably could have thought of something else if everyone else rsvp'd with no. The parents that were rude and inconsiderate and didn't RSVP at all, I don't even acknowledge them anymore. Jace even had a Winter Gala and the parents could have RSVP'd to my face, even.

What are your thoughts on RSVPing? Do you RSVP with either yes or no, or only with a yes?

*Jillian* · #2 February 5th, 2012, 09:08 AM

You know, I haven't really been invited to a party where I don't talk to the people throwing it all the time and am just expected to be there. lol

When Grady gets in school and starts getting more invites I will RSVP if it's on the invitation. Absolutely. Yes or no.

Tammyjh · #3 February 5th, 2012, 09:38 AM

We always rsvp with either a "yes" or a "no".

LessthanThree · #4 February 5th, 2012, 09:56 AM

I think that, especially for weddings and events you have to buy things for, that you should RSVP yes or no. I'm planning a wedding and I know I'll be hounding people for their RSVPs, even though it's just family (but a lot of family) because I don't want to assume someone who didn't RSVP isn't going to show and them show up. It's just rude to not reply at all.

foxfire_ga79 · #5 February 5th, 2012, 09:56 AM

If I know someone is going to need a specific head count for a party like you mentioned I always make sure to RSVP either way. If it's a more laid back hanging out at the house and who ever shows up is cool kind of thing then I'll usually RSVP if the answer is yes, but feel uncomfy having to say no. Don't know why, guess I'm just afraid I'll hurt their feelings and I just hope they won't notice I didn't show up. lol
But yea, I'd be pissed if I booked one of those parties and the majority of people didn't show up. That's why I just plain don't do those parties anymore. For years now birthday parties have been either at my house or at a park or something where it doesn't matter if 5 show up or 15.

BittyBugsMama · #6 February 5th, 2012, 10:33 AM

I always let them know one way or the other

plan4fate · #7 February 5th, 2012, 11:03 AM

We always rsvp. And if something happens after saying yes, and we can't go, I always let someone know. I hate being left hanging, I REFUSE to do it to people.

I get really irritated when it comes to sit down weddings too. I mean, when you're paying per plate, you really need to know how many are going to be there. My aunt got into a tiffy with a family friend last year, she tried to talk my whole family into not going to the wedding (they didn't choose her daughter to be flower girl, and it miffed her.. immature much?) despite the fact that they'd rsvp'd 3 months prior. So that would have been 18 purchased plates that would have gone un used (and it was a $50 per plate wedding).... I was down here in the US, so I wasn't going, but I let into her about how her pulling crap like that would mean even i wouldn't invite her to my own wedding if we chose sit down.

She didn't go, but everyone else did.

Mom2Froggy · #8 February 5th, 2012, 12:45 PM

It bugs the crap out of me when people don't RSVP for invites. I will say "yes" or "no" to an invite... leaving people in the dark is totally bad manners.

HappyHippy · #9 February 5th, 2012, 03:10 PM

We always RSVP because I know when planning a birthday party, or gathering, they want to know how many will be there so they know the quantity of food and things like that. So I always RSVP. Usually through Facebook because they create an event on there, or by phone. With the boys' birthday parties we get like half RSVPs and then the other half just show up. So I normally plan for them as well food wise, and if we have left overs, not a big deal. And then if it's a gathering that isn't a birthday party then it's set up like a pot luck type deal.

K.A.T · #10 February 6th, 2012, 08:18 AM

I think it's important to RSVP to invites, regardless of where the party will be held. Sometimes it's important to know the head count even for home parties. You need to know how much money to spend on food, party bags and what have you. It's even more important if it's being held at a party place. The lack of responses could cause a party to not happen because the place requires x amount of people.

fluffycheeks · #11 February 6th, 2012, 09:16 AM

Wow, that's a ton of people to not reply! Inevitably, there is always a person or two who forget, and you can plan for that, but nine?! If that happened to me, I'd probably do something passive aggressive like send out an email saying "I haven't heard from any of you, so I think I may have sent the wrong phone number/email for you to RSVP, are you coming to the party? I need to know by xxx."

Cesca · #12 February 6th, 2012, 09:38 AM

I always RSVP.

I just had my son's birthday and while most people RSVPed there was siblings/cousins who came that I didn't know was coming. I think along with RSVPing, ask if siblings or whoever can come too. If they can, let the host/hostess know that there will be X number of kids extra coming.

MrsLMB · #13 February 6th, 2012, 09:40 AM

I was pretty indifferent until we had our wedding. We lost a lot of money on guests that said they were coming but never showed. At $14 a plate we wasted about $3-400 on people that never came. An RSVP is important but you also have to stick to what you said you were going to do. And if you aren't sure you can make it just mark it down as a NO with a note saying you might make it but don't plan on eating. And if you don't RSVP at all, don't plan on having anything to eat. We had to come up with some sort of rulebook because about only 20% of people we invite to things know will rsvp.

Bellabee's Mommy · #14 February 6th, 2012, 09:50 AM

I can't stand it when people don't RSVP! I always do! There have been many times for my kids birthdays when I have no idea how many are coming. I hate over buying things and always end up with more than I need. I don't want one of the kids to go without because their parents can't take 5 minutes to RSVP!

tiredmom · #15 February 6th, 2012, 10:05 AM

Eh. I always RSVP. But having two kids who have birthday parties and get invited to a lot of birthday parties, I know that it's not uncommon for people not to RSVP. At one point last year, I had 6 different invitations to RSVP for the coming month. Some I knew for sure we could or could not go to. But others I had to wait and see what our schedule looked like; so I can see how it is easy to put an invitation in your car and then just plain forget about it. I'd say for the boy's bday parties that I have thrown, there is about 30% on average that I never hear from, and I just mark them as a 'no'. It has never happened to me that someone did not rsvp and showed up anyhow. I always include a comment requesting "please rsvp by x date", so if they haven't responded by then, it's the same as saying no.

My2miracles · #16 February 6th, 2012, 11:11 AM

I ALWAYS rsvp! It drives me crazy when people don't. In our area, I've learned that most people only respond when they are coming & don't respond when they aren't. Now that dd is older 9 - sometimes the parents don't even respond but let the kid tell dd. I have a hard time trusting that.

When I call & respond to birthday invites, I'm usally thanked profusely by the parent for calling so I guess my experience sadly is the norm.

navywifey2003 · #17 February 6th, 2012, 01:42 PM

Lurking here. We always RSVP. But since people were not RSVPing for my kids birthday parties I started putting regrets only on the invite. I couldnt take the guessing anymore.

GSLynn · #18 February 6th, 2012, 05:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hey... Where's Perry?

The "thank you note" thread reminded me to start this topic:

Jace's birthday party was a few weeks ago and we invited 13 kids. Out of the 13, two rsvp'd yes, and two rsvp'd no. NINE of them didn't rsvp at all. I was flippin' pissed. I had Jace's party at a jumpy house place and spent $270.00 (for Jace and his two best friends), but probably could have thought of something else if everyone else rsvp'd with no. The parents that were rude and inconsiderate and didn't RSVP at all, I don't even acknowledge them anymore. Jace even had a Winter Gala and the parents could have RSVP'd to my face, even.

What are your thoughts on RSVPing? Do you RSVP with either yes or no, or only with a yes?

I do it either way.

When we used to do parties, we'd invite so many people. If those people didn't respond, we assumed they weren't coming. If they showed up anyway? I would explain that I paid for x amount of people and that I wasn't expecting them as they hadn't responded. I would always invite them to stay, however would let them know that there would be a cost (if there was say a pizza party at Chuck E Cheese, etc.) or that I may not have enough goody bags for their child(ren). It made them think twice and usually if they got rude, they weren't on the invite list next time. However, we no longer do parties. 1/2 the time I go to these parties, bring something for their kids, and they ignore me and my kids that are invited anyway, so I feel out of place. Then, if I invite to our kids' party? They don't show, even after saying they'll be there...usually w/o a phone call or even reasonable excuse. We just do family only now.

glasscandie · #19 February 7th, 2012, 02:37 PM

What is regrets only?

navywifey2003 · #20 February 7th, 2012, 02:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by glasscandie

What is regrets only?

I assume everyone is coming unless they call me and tell me they are not coming. I have better luck with people just saying no then having yes and no response.