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Same sex couple has one name removed from child's death certificate.


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  #1  
February 8th, 2012, 01:00 PM
MrsLMB's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Parent's Name Removed from Death Certificate

Should the state (IOWA) issue the women a new death certificate? Or should only biological parents be listed?
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  #2  
February 8th, 2012, 01:07 PM
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Never really thought about that one. Legally, if only one parent had custody at the time, then I can see the states reasoning. I would assume that if that child had been born the other parent would have been able to adopt. If not then it's really a tricky spot.
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  #3  
February 8th, 2012, 01:11 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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If both of their names could be listed on the birth certificate, then they should both be on the death certificate.

I do not know if in this case it was possible, I'm not up snuff on the same sex parent issue at hand.


As a side note, I think that same sex parents should have the same rules as non same sex parents when it comes to their children and such. I was just commenting based on the fact the current law may not state that.
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  #4  
February 8th, 2012, 01:15 PM
BittyBugsMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I think both on the birth cert, both on the death cert.
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  #5  
February 8th, 2012, 02:59 PM
MrsLMB's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I wonder how this would apply to a traditional couple that used a sperm donor and had a stillbirth. It seems like the same situation to me.

I think they should absolutely list both parents on everything, as long as both recognize that they are or would have been the parents.
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  #6  
February 8th, 2012, 03:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsLMB View Post
I wonder how this would apply to a traditional couple that used a sperm donor and had a stillbirth. It seems like the same situation to me.

I think they should absolutely list both parents on everything, as long as both recognize that they are or would have been the parents.
You know.. that's a good question.

The sad thing is.. it probably wouldn't matter. Man and woman = parents.. no one would think to ask "did you use your sperm or another's to conceive this child sir?" when filling out papers.

This debate has made me sad for same sex couples all over again. Shouldn't have to be this hard.
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  #7  
February 8th, 2012, 10:25 PM
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If they were legally married then they should be issued a new birth certificate with both names.

If they aren't then there is no reason to include both names. If a single woman had IFV, was pregnant, got a boyfriend/fiance, had a stillbirth, would the BF/fiance (who is not legally recognized in the househould or as a parent) be listed as a parent? I don't think they are, but correct me if I'm wrong please.

For me, its not about recognizing same-sex couples. The article doesn't state they are legally married in the eyes of the gov. If they want both names they should have it, but they should make it point to request both names on the death certificate. That should not be a problem. But I don't think the gov should have to recognize any non-legalized guardians.
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  #8  
February 8th, 2012, 11:21 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Linzie View Post
If they were legally married then they should be issued a new birth certificate with both names.

If they aren't then there is no reason to include both names. If a single woman had IFV, was pregnant, got a boyfriend/fiance, had a stillbirth, would the BF/fiance (who is not legally recognized in the househould or as a parent) be listed as a parent? I don't think they are, but correct me if I'm wrong please.

For me, its not about recognizing same-sex couples. The article doesn't state they are legally married in the eyes of the gov. If they want both names they should have it, but they should make it point to request both names on the death certificate. That should not be a problem. But I don't think the gov should have to recognize any non-legalized guardians.
I'm not American. My parents were together 17 years before they got married, when I was 15. They had 3 kids out of wedlock, his name is on all three of our birth certificates. They did nothing fancy to get it there, mom listed him as the father. The man on my father's birth certificate? Not his biological father, didn't adopt him, but was listed as his father and was his father until he passed away when my dad was a teenager.

Dh is an American. Dh and his ex were not married with their son was born, there was never any question on what was to happen, it's L.J and Woody.O listed as his parents.


I do not think marriage should be a prerequisite for being a parent on a birth certificate or a death certificate. You're making the second parent role sound like it's unimportant and can be filled only by a married individual. If a single person has a child via a donor, there is no second parent. If a same sex COUPLE has a child, there is a second parent.
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  #9  
February 9th, 2012, 12:07 AM
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In your situation though, your father was still with your mother before and after you were born. He is legally recognized as your father regardless of marriage to your mother.

If this couple put in both of their names when filing for the certificate (i don't know the process) then they should have both of their names on there. I did say that both names should be on there if they requested it. Obviously they had to go through IVF to get pregnant in the first place, if they conceived while together, so the sperm donor would not have been mentioned in any case, and both of their names would be on there if the child had been born live.

Someone please explain, i can't find it right now, if an opposite sex couple who wasnt legally married had IVF, would the BF be listed as a parent? If so, i see where i am wrong, and i apologize.

No marriage shouldn't be a prerequisite for listing on a birth/death certificate, but unless stated by a parent, i don't think they should have to include unrecognized persons.
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  #10  
February 9th, 2012, 07:51 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Tithen~ View Post
I'm not American. My parents were together 17 years before they got married, when I was 15. They had 3 kids out of wedlock, his name is on all three of our birth certificates. They did nothing fancy to get it there, mom listed him as the father. The man on my father's birth certificate? Not his biological father, didn't adopt him, but was listed as his father and was his father until he passed away when my dad was a teenager.

Dh is an American. Dh and his ex were not married with their son was born, there was never any question on what was to happen, it's L.J and Woody.O listed as his parents.


I do not think marriage should be a prerequisite for being a parent on a birth certificate or a death certificate. You're making the second parent role sound like it's unimportant and can be filled only by a married individual. If a single person has a child via a donor, there is no second parent. If a same sex COUPLE has a child, there is a second parent.
If a couple is not married, the father needs to sign an acknowledgment of paternity here in front of the notary at the hospital. If not, then the name does not go on the birth certificate. At least not to my legal knowledge and experience.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Linzie View Post
In your situation though, your father was still with your mother before and after you were born. He is legally recognized as your father regardless of marriage to your mother.

If this couple put in both of their names when filing for the certificate (i don't know the process) then they should have both of their names on there. I did say that both names should be on there if they requested it. Obviously they had to go through IVF to get pregnant in the first place, if they conceived while together, so the sperm donor would not have been mentioned in any case, and both of their names would be on there if the child had been born live.

Someone please explain, i can't find it right now, if an opposite sex couple who wasnt legally married had IVF, would the BF be listed as a parent? If so, i see where i am wrong, and i apologize.

No marriage shouldn't be a prerequisite for listing on a birth/death certificate, but unless stated by a parent, i don't think they should have to include unrecognized persons.
That may vary state to state. But as far as I know, only the biological parent gets put on the birth certificate at first and then they have go through an adoption process for the non biological parent. I could also be wrong, but I do believe that's how it goes.

ETA Scratch that. For some reason I though you meant same sex couple. For opposite sex I would assume it would be the same way as a non married couple regardless of biology. As long as the non biological father is willing to acknowledge paternity, it should be fine. Again, I could be wrong on this one. I would have to research it legally.
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Last edited by K.A.T; February 9th, 2012 at 07:59 AM.
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  #11  
February 9th, 2012, 08:07 AM
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IVF has no bearing on how birth certificates are filled out regardless of marital status or use of donor eggs/sperm.

I'm not sure from the article if this was intentional from the state or an error made on the states part. Either way the certificate should be corrected to reflect both parents of the child.
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  #12  
February 9th, 2012, 08:43 AM
BittyBugsMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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My husband had to sign an acknowledgment of paternity for both of my kids, I would imagine any parent in our state would have to do the same, regardless of marital status.
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  #13  
February 9th, 2012, 06:33 PM
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Usually, the parent that gives birth is considered the parent in a same-sex situation. The sperm donor generally has given up their rights (generally) so would have no rights to the child and would usually not be listed on the birth certificate.

For example, I conceived a child within a marriage through IVF. I was not related to her in any way. She was not mine or my husband's baby. She was conceived with the intent to have someone else raise her. The state I live in STILL recognized that I birthed her and therefore, I am automatically *assumed the mother and because I'm married, my husband was automatically *assumed the father. We had to sign our "rights" away and the intended parents had to "adopt" their baby. Only one father was allowed on the birth certificate initially, then we had to file an amendment to get my name off and the other father on (gay couple). This is just how it works. So, even though I had NO biological relation to the child, as you can see, it's not as simple as just handing over a baby and me signing a birth certificate with their names on it. The State had a lot to do with how this worked. Even with a Pre-Birth order, the birthmom is always on the birth certificate first. We have to sign our names OFF in order for anyone else to be recognized as the parents. My husband also had to sign an acknowledgement of paternity---meaning he signed he was NOT Arlet's father.

Whoever is *adopting* (technicality) the baby is then solely responsible and as long as both names are on the Birth Certificate, usually this would remain the same way for the Death Certificate.

For Taylor (first surrogate baby that passed away), my name stayed on and the intended father's name was on there. We didn't do anything different because it was too painful for the IP's to deal with. She was cremated and no death certificate was issued (unless they applied for one and I didn't know).
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  #14  
February 9th, 2012, 06:38 PM
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* For boyfriends---depends. If you did IVF and you are not legally married, it would just be a matter of naming him if you want to. no one would be the wiser, really. You could technically put ANYONE as the baby's dad on the birth certificate because no one but you and your RE would ever know whether you used a donor or not. I would assume someone wanting a donor, though, they would have the intent to name their significant other as the other parent. Unless there was a future problem where paternity would need to be ordered, I couldn't see any problem with this. It's VERY different for gay couples, though.
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