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"He teases you because he loves you"


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  #1  
February 15th, 2012, 06:56 AM
HappyHippy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think we can all remember the saying of "he does it because he loves you/likes you" when a little boy teases, picks on, pulls hair, etc to little girls.

Do you think that is why little boys do that, and do you think that is something we should tell little girls?

Here's a blog post that says that we should not be saying that to little girls.
You Didn’t Thank Me For Punching You in the Face « Views from the Couch
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  #2  
February 15th, 2012, 07:29 AM
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Oh I bet she'll be honored to know her blog made a debate.
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  #3  
February 15th, 2012, 07:30 AM
Tammyjh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Stacey's blog. Cool

I just want to say that its not just something people tell little girls, they say it to little boys as well. Its even on tv
Good Luck Charlie - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Quote:
Jo Keener[14] (G. Hannelius) is Gabe's tomboyish bully turned friend. She was introduced in the episode "Boys Meets Girls" bullying Gabe before revealing that she had a crush on him. Since that episode, she appears friendly with Gabe, assisting him with certain situations with an occasional wise crack and insult at his expense. It is demonstrated that she is good with babies after taking care of Charlie. It is also revealed that Gabe also has a small crush on her, but doesn't show it.
To the topic at hand, teasing is one thing and yes, we have told the girls/boys that sometimes that means someone might have a crush on them. Another child getting overly physical is quite another and always addressed as wrong.

eta...reading through the comments and see that she did not mean to imply that it only happens to girls and will be doing a follow up about boys.
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Last edited by Tammyjh; February 15th, 2012 at 07:41 AM.
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  #4  
February 15th, 2012, 07:35 AM
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Wait... the blog writer is on the heated debates board?
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  #5  
February 15th, 2012, 07:36 AM
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Yes. It's Stacey's blog.

OK time to give my opinion and add something other than peanut gallery comments.

Do you think that is why little boys do that, and do you think that is something we should tell little girls?I think to some degree it is because they aren't taught not to do that. It's something they do to get your attention. However, it's not acceptable. If it's a playful tease, then I'm fine with it. Something that both the boy and the girl can laugh at. But if it goes to something hurtful and/or physical, then that's not good. Girls and boys both need to be told that it is not acceptable to tease, hit or hurt someone because "they like you."
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  #6  
February 15th, 2012, 07:43 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by K.A.T View Post
Yes. It's Stacey's blog.

OK time to give my opinion and add something other than peanut gallery comments.

Do you think that is why little boys do that, and do you think that is something we should tell little girls?I think to some degree it is because they aren't taught not to do that. It's something they do to get your attention. However, it's not acceptable. If it's a playful tease, then I'm fine with it. Something that both the boy and the girl can laugh at. But if it goes to something hurtful and/or physical, then that's not good. Girls and boys both need to be told that it is not acceptable to tease, hit or hurt someone because "they like you."
I agree, and I agree with the blog post.

I do think to some extent that little boys, and even little girls, don't know how to show their feelings towards someone when they are young. So sometimes that "I like you" feeling can come off as "I don't like you". But I want my kids to know that it's not ok to tease, pick on, hit, pull hair, etc. And that it's not ok for someone to do that to you. I want my kids to be able to express themselves without thinking they need to hurt someone in order to do so.
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  #7  
February 15th, 2012, 08:26 AM
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I agree with the blogger.

Also, it our job as parents to teach our children that teasing and hitting is not an acceptable form of showing affection. We need to teach our boys that we do nice things when we like someone and we need to teach our girls to never turn the other cheek when it comes to any form of teasing and/or hitting.

Reminds me of an episode of Toddler and Tiaras where the mom thought her 3 year old hitting was okay, because at that age it was cute. So when does it stop being cute? When she is 4? 5?
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  #8  
February 15th, 2012, 08:38 AM
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I think that the blogger is BRILLIANT! Best. Blog. Ever.
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  #9  
February 15th, 2012, 09:32 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cereal Killer View Post
I think that the blogger is BRILLIANT! Best. Blog. Ever.
I agree
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  #10  
February 15th, 2012, 11:11 AM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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LOL I shared this blog post on my fb the other night and my sister loved it, has read the whole blog now. LOL. Stacey you're popular!


I remember this being said over and over when I was a kid. As an adult I can see that of the 10 boys in my class who pushed me down, pulled on my hair, pinched me, called me names... one actually showed an interest in actually liking me when we got older. Course, my mom never said "that means they like you." she was more likely to tell me to do it back.


I do think that it needs to get nipped in the bud now. It's unacceptable. We can certainly show our kids that there are ways to show people you like them from a very young age. Honestly, it's just another form of bullying that seems to be encouraged rather than discouraged.

And I'm sure there's a lot of parents out there whose kids push around kids of the same sex, and I have a feeling they wouldn't like to hear "oh, it's ok, johnny is only doing that cause he likes him."
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  #11  
February 15th, 2012, 11:32 AM
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I must have read it from your page Ashley, originally.

I agree that something little like throwing a snowball at a kid or something equally as harmless might be "because one likes the other" but it can cross the line easily. I'm also surprised at how many schools/parents still brush off stuff like that when we are in such a big anti-bullying mode everywhere else (news etc). Our school might be really strict, but I've seen plenty kids get scolded for small things like tugging on a backpack or not keeping their hands to themselves at.all.times.
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  #12  
February 15th, 2012, 11:45 AM
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Can't read the blog at work because it was blocked as "Pornography"

So I'll read it later but I get the gist of what it's about. Yes, playful teasing is different than outright abuse. I would never tell my dd that if a boy pulled out her chair when she was about to sit down causing her to fall on the floor that is because he like her. I would make sure the teacher was alerted and appropriate action was taken. That's much different than a boy being annoying because he wants her attention.
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  #13  
February 15th, 2012, 12:19 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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Quote:
Originally Posted by My2miracles View Post
Can't read the blog at work because it was blocked as "Pornography"
ROTFLMAO.



And yeah Beth. I've liked her blog acct on fb so it alerted me to a new post. I had to share it.

Actually I was trudging off with a pin I wanted to some how send to her because soon as I saw it my brain screamed STACEY! Something about wine and children.. now I'll feel compelled to browse interest until I find it again.

Here it is:

Inspiration / hahahaha!
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Last edited by plan4fate; February 15th, 2012 at 12:22 PM.
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  #14  
February 15th, 2012, 12:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by My2miracles View Post
Can't read the blog at work because it was blocked as "Pornography"

So I'll read it later but I get the gist of what it's about. Yes, playful teasing is different than outright abuse. I would never tell my dd that if a boy pulled out her chair when she was about to sit down causing her to fall on the floor that is because he like her. I would make sure the teacher was alerted and appropriate action was taken. That's much different than a boy being annoying because he wants her attention.
That's her other View from the Couch...
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  #15  
February 15th, 2012, 01:30 PM
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I should have called it "Wine and Porn and Parenting". This post has, evidently, reached "viral" status. It has had over 100, 000 views today.

I'M FAMOUS!
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  #16  
February 15th, 2012, 01:36 PM
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I don't really care about the OT, but


Quote:
Originally Posted by Cereal Killer View Post
I should have called it "Wine and Porn and Parenting". This post has, evidently, reached "viral" status. It has had over 100, 000 views today.

I'M FAMOUS!
holy crap!
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  #17  
February 15th, 2012, 02:02 PM
Cereal Killer's Avatar I'm climbin' in yo window
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I know!
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  #18  
February 15th, 2012, 02:06 PM
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Well, I hate to break your bubble, but 99,990 were me. You know I'm a stalker. But I only do it because I like you.
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  #19  
February 15th, 2012, 02:41 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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I'm reading the replies and I'm thinking I need to become a shrink cause some of those parents would make me rich as hell.

Reme's in trouble for loving on the girls too much, a parent complained cause he gives the girls (who say it's ok) a hug at the end of the day. Teach a kid to do the right thing (he even asks for the hugs for goodness sakes!) and he's still in trouble.
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  #20  
February 15th, 2012, 08:32 PM
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I actually saw this from one of my friends on Facebook. I have to agree with every. single. word.

Great post!
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