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  • 3 Post By BittyBugsMama
  • 1 Post By Frackel
  • 1 Post By Tammyjh

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  #1  
March 14th, 2012, 06:52 PM
HappyHippy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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If someone says they're an activist of something, is it their duty or job to spread the information, even if a person/group/etc does not ask for it?

Examples -

Intactivsts - If someone says they are going to circumcise their son, is it ok for an intactivist to give them information or talk to them about why they should leave their son intact? (this is when not asked for that advice or information)

Lactavists - Would it be ok if a lactavist approached a woman buying formula to tell her about how great breastfeeding is?

Religious activists - Is it ok for them to approach people and talk about their specific religioun/church/organization?

Basically any activist of any kind giving out information, approaching people, etc when the person does not ask for the advice/information.
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  #2  
March 14th, 2012, 08:06 PM
Cait&AngelAbove's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think it is okay to talk about your views with someone but I do not think you should force your views down someone's throat. I think the best way to get your views across to someone else is to live that way and lead by example.
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  #3  
March 14th, 2012, 08:34 PM
BittyBugsMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I don't like getting advice unless I ask for it and that is how I live, I don't give advice unless its asked of me. The religious ones really bother me. Pretty sure our German Shepard took care of any chance of them ever coming back though.
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  #4  
March 15th, 2012, 04:09 AM
Tammyjh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BittyBugsMama View Post
I don't like getting advice unless I ask for it and that is how I live, I don't give advice unless its asked of me. The religious ones really bother me. Pretty sure our German Shepard took care of any chance of them ever coming back though.

I agree. I'm not bothered only by the religious people who come to my door but also by the stray sales person/people. And yeah, my Aussie doesn't appreciate it either. lol
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  #5  
March 15th, 2012, 06:43 AM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
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I don't care what you believe, just don't force feed it to me, especially if not asked. If I wanted that information I would seek it out. I think it's best to say "hey I believe this and if you ever want some information you can reach me here." Then call it a day. Leave it up to the person to decide if they want to hear you out. Half the time when you preach something to people that have no interest, they will not listen to what you're saying anyway and you're trying to educate in vain. I would rather educate someone who I knew wanted the knowledge and would soak it in, then make their decisions. That isn't a waste of my time like preaching on deaf ears would be.
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  #6  
March 15th, 2012, 08:40 AM
Frackel's Avatar DOh!
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Activism has it's place and time, but randomly ambush style typically isn't that time(no matter where it actually takes place).
The mom in the grocery store, for example...Odds are, she's buying that formula for a reason and not just ****s and giggles. You can't possibly know her reason, and assuming you do(based off whatever you want to base it off of), then preaching to her about how formula is not best for her baby, is probably not a sound judgment call.
Now if she were already discussing formula, or feeding, or what's best for her baby, well then your message might be received better. Otherwise, you're more likely to come across as a holier than thou nutjob with an agenda(who knows what agenda that might be). That's the prime reason activists get a bad rap. They choose the wrong place and the wrong time, to preach.

A conversation, like the above instance, where the topic is already being discussed, is a prime time for someone who really wants to either share their opinions, or educate. It might not always be received well, or even heard, but it's a much better time than just random preaching out of nowhere.

It really isn't anyone's "job" or "duty" to educate any and all, on their ways, at all times. You'd really have to know more about the situation(as in, why the other person you're speaking to, doesn't already do it your way, or whatever way you deem superior). In most cases, we don't, so we assume. Assumption isn't always bad, but it can be. It IS very important to educate others, of course. There's just a time and a place for it.

I'm sure at one time or another we've all had someone decide to preach to us at what is most likely, not the best time and place, about something we really don't feel like discussing. It can be utterly annoying. On the right day or in the right moment(or wrong, for that matter), it could be way more than annoying, even. Odds are, it probably wouldn't matter how you worded it, it simply wouldn't be received well at those times.

I can't tell you how many times I would go to the pharmacy to pick up formula for dd2, be somewhere wandering around the store and have someone tell me that what I was buying, wasn't "ideal" or in some cases even "good enough" for my baby. I had a pharmacy tech once tell me that when I came to pick up. Sometimes, I didn't really feel like discussing with another mom(in one case, a dad, lol) why my cart was full of cases of mini cans of formula and baby cereal or food. Which, actually were the best foods for my baby/toddler/child. I was glad when they finally set up home delivery for that.

The religious people, while it can get annoying, at least they don't hide what they're doing. It's a well known fact they are out there to proselytize. It's not some out of nowhere ambush that you'd never expect. The way a mom, in a grocery store, telling another mom how much better breastmilk is for her baby, would be. Now if someone were to approach me in a store, preaching their religion, that would be akin to the mom and the anti-formula chat.

That doesn't mean I'd welcome someone at my front door, preaching whatever it is they are preaching, with open arms, it's just not as big of a "WTH do you think you're doing" moment. Most people are aware of what those going door to door are doing. I don't find it quite as annoying as people who feel the need to preach whenever and wherever they deem fit with no regard for whoever it is they are currently addressing(dare I say, bothering).
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  #7  
March 15th, 2012, 09:31 AM
AtomicMama's Avatar CopperBoom!
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I think sometimes it is okay to offer information unsolicited. Not necessarily all the time in every situation, though. For example, the woman buying formula at the store. I don't think it would be appropriate to approach her and talk about BFing. If she's already buying the formula, odds are she is already forumal feeding and BFing wouldn't be an option. Plus, like one of the PP said, you can never know her reasons. However, once I was at Target and there was a pregnant woman there with her husband. They were looking at formual, and I was looking for something for DS. I overheard there conversation, and she was telling him how they had to buy formula because you need to mix it with breastmilk because breastmilk on it's own doesn't have all the nutrients baby needs. In that instance, I WISH I would have said something. Had she not made that comment, I would not even considered have approached her. I don't know her reasons for using formula, and the store is not an appropriate environment for that kind of information abmush.

However, I don't think saying we should never approach people who don't ask for information is correct, either. Partly becuase there are many instances where people don't even know to ask. Had it not been for JM, I never would have thought to ask about circumcision. I'm sure there are many issues I know about that other people never would think are concerns, and I'm sure there are even more issues that other people know about, are passionate about, and I have no knowledge of at all.
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  #8  
March 15th, 2012, 07:51 PM
HappyHippy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I agree that there is a place and time for it. But it should not be shoved down someone's throat.

I was told the other day that if I call myself a Lactavist, then it is my *duty* to approach people and tell them about the benefits of breastfeeding. This was coming from a woman who calls herself an intactavist and says that she joins parenting forums and mainstream play groups just so she can talk about keeping boys intact.
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  #9  
March 16th, 2012, 07:23 AM
Repti.Mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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This is the reason that I associate activists with extremists. In fact the only people that I've ever seen that call themselves activists ARE extremists. You're going to hear their side whether you asked for it or not.
Facebook is horrible for this, I've had to 'unsubscribe' from some people due to it. For example, just because you have taken in a few dogs doesn't mean I want to see those stupid posters/pictures every.freakin.day about how many dogs are dieing, and how pitbulls are good, and how dogs are the only things that love you unconditionally blah blAH BLAH!

On a side note, I get formula very cheap, if not free occasionally and I don't even have a baby right now, I give it away or drop it off at WIC. For someone to assume that I am using it and feel the need to come and lecture me about it is stupid. Then again activists/extremists are the biggest assumers out there!
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  #10  
March 16th, 2012, 12:03 PM
Tammyjh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Repti.Mom View Post
This is the reason that I associate activists with extremists. In fact the only people that I've ever seen that call themselves activists ARE extremists. You're going to hear their side whether you asked for it or not.
Facebook is horrible for this, I've had to 'unsubscribe' from some people due to it. For example, just because you have taken in a few dogs doesn't mean I want to see those stupid posters/pictures every.freakin.day about how many dogs are dieing, and how pitbulls are good, and how dogs are the only things that love you unconditionally blah blAH BLAH!
For the most part, I think you are correct but I don't think many who have extreme beliefs actually realize it. I'm not a fan of people coming to my door unsolicited and when I say "thanks but no thanks", it means "please leave" but then they stand there and try to talk me into buying their product or listening to a sermon. I realise that this is a sales tactic but its ANNOYING and rude. Then they act all offended when I tell them for the third or fourth time to please leave.
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